


Cycles 1: Autumnus

by ulstergirl (ndnickerson)



Series: Cycles [1]
Category: Nancy Drew - Keene
Genre: Drama, F/M, Nancy Drew On Campus, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-18
Updated: 2009-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 13:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 73,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ndnickerson/pseuds/ulstergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after Nancy breaks up with Ned and heads to Wilder University, Ned finds a way back into her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Background for this one:  
> -In this universe, the Nancy Drew Files were followed by the Nancy Drew On Campus series, so Nancy has a slightly more complicated back story than she would otherwise. If you've read one without the other, the changes are pretty clear. If not, this is all new to you anyway. (I really hate the On Campus series. I read them just in case Ned popped up. More often than not, when he did pop up, Nancy's crazy behavior just made me angrier. I have been known to make exclamations of disgust and throw the paperbacks while forcing myself to read them.)  
> -This story is set a year after Nancy breaks up with Ned, so it begins with her sophomore year at Wilder. (That may not fit in with the timeline of the On Campus series; see below.)  
> -Some of the elements of the On Campus story arc I kept; some things I couldn't be bothered to keep, and modified for my own uses; some things I just entirely ignored. Strictly speaking, this would be alternate universe, then. In keeping with the On Campus series, Nancy and Ned (and Bess and George) behave in a somewhat more adult way than they did in the Files. Therefore:  
> -This story contains mild coarse language and suggestive adult situations (UST). If the thought of that scares you, turn back now.

He told himself he just wanted to see her again. That he didn't necessarily need to talk to her, just see her one more time.

Ned had at least four other assignments he needed to be working on. But he made the drive anyway, without calling first. He could always change his mind, turn around. Stop somewhere, eat dinner, head back to school. Because he had no idea what would happen if he went through with it.

He had no idea how Nancy would respond if he saw her.

He had no clear recollection of when they had last spoken. He knew it had been soon after she had started college, but before Christmas; after the distracted telephone conversations where they barely found things to say to each other. They were drifting apart, she'd told him; they had different priorities, different interests now, and the relationship was just too long distance.

Somehow that hadn't seemed to bother her when she was back in River Heights and they spent months at a time apart, separated by her detecting and his schoolwork.

But he'd taken it in stride, reminded himself that Nancy had prevented him from exploring the many opportunities he could have had. Through his classes, through his rabid female fans.

Erika was working as a teacher's assistant for Ned's chemistry teacher, and led his lab section. He'd missed one of his labs during the time of weirdness with Nancy, and had gone to her to make it up. She'd invited him out for a coffee after. They'd ended up getting a few drinks. When the semester was over, they caught a couple movies together. A few dates later and, after a party, they had gone back to her place for a few more drinks and he'd found himself with her, in her darkened bedroom, in the situation he and Nancy had found themselves in all too many times. He had pulled back, looked at her.

Noticed how much she looked like Nancy. The same hair. The same cool intelligence.

He had made some excuse and left. Stopped returning her calls and made excuses to get off the phone with her as soon as he could. He was no longer taking chemistry, so she couldn't dock his grade in retribution. His frat brothers had warned him of such a possibility when he'd started dating Erika.

Dating. He'd been with Nancy so long that he'd almost forgotten what it was like, to learn someone else. Not that it had seemed to matter so much, with Erika. He hadn't analyzed it, the way she looked so much like the only other girl he'd ever loved, and how he didn't really want to hear about her personality or likes and dislikes, he just kept wondering when they might be alone.

And then he had freaked out. He'd left her.

Now he was driving fifteen miles over the speed limit, to see the girl he'd tried to replace.

\--

Nancy dug through the pile of clothes in the middle of the room. She had a lab report she should have been working on, research for a hundred papers, but Bess's sorority was holding a dance over the weekend and she couldn't find the dress she'd been planning to wear.

Sure enough, she found the metallic mint green dress in a wrinkled heap near the bottom. She brushed it off, held it a few feet from her face and sniffed delicately. _Well, nothing the dry cleaner's can't fix_. She found her car keys and purse and, dress folded over her shoulder, locked her room and headed to the lobby.

"Hey Nancy! Great dress, is that what you'll be wearing?"

"Yeah. You coming?"

Gina tossed her curly dark hair back and nodded. "I'm gonna head to the mall after I grab a burger. Gotta find something to wear." She grinned. "My history term paper can wait. You wanna come?"

Nancy shook her head. "Thanks, but I don't think my French homework will be able to stand another trip to the mall. And my teacher is definitely gonna kill me if I'm not ready for the oral tomorrow."

"I don't envy you." Gina waved. "See you later."

Nancy waved back, then turned her attention back to the stairwell. She glanced down.

A guy with dark hair was standing at the receptionist's desk.

Ned turned his head just as her hand touched the front doorknob. She drew in a breath and blinked a few times.

"Nancy?"

She swallowed. "Hey," she replied, forcing a smile over the sudden wave of nervousness and anger that swept over her. "Been a while, hasn't it."

"Yeah." His eyes didn't leave hers as he stepped toward her, his voice gentle but unsure. "You're on your way somewhere?"

She looked down at the dress hanging over her arm. "Oh. Yeah. On my way to the cleaner's. You... Ned, why are you here?"

He smiled. "Can we talk?"

She ran a hand through her reddish blonde hair. "I guess so. If you want to go with me to the cleaner's. And if you remember any of the French you learned in high school. But those are the rules."

He climbed into the passenger seat of her Mustang and shut the door. "Yeah, I do remember a little French. Mostly from that cooking course we took."

She smiled. "Probably not enough for my purposes. So... what's up?"

"I've missed you," he whispered.

She negotiated a turn and glanced in his direction. "When was the last time we talked, Ned? It's been almost a year."

He nodded. "I think so."

She smiled thinly, fighting to keep her voice steady. "I thought we'd taken enough of a break, that we could maybe try again, and then I called your frat and found out you were with some girl."

He ran a hand over his face. "When was this?"

"Does it matter?"

"I guess not."

"I guess you're not with her, since you're here." She glanced down. "Or maybe you decided to deliver the wedding invitation in person."

"I'm not with her anymore."

She stopped the car in front of the cleaners. "I'll be right back," she said. She gave him a wary look and vanished inside.

Ned looked around and thought about getting out. He saw a phone booth. He could call a taxi and get back to his car, and be gone. Maybe that would be better.

But he didn't move, and she slid back into the driver's seat. He was thrown backward as she put the car in gear and spun out of the lot.

"Could we get a burger or something? In a place where you can't kill me?"

She sighed. "I'm not going to kill you. But can it be quick? I have a lot of homework to do tonight."

"So do I."

She glanced over at him. "All right."

\--

"You were ready to try again?"

Nancy took a sip of her smoothie. She and Ned had a table in the school's food court. "I was. But I've had some time to think about things."

"And?"

She folded her arms and watched him take a bite of his burger. "I'm working at the school newspaper," she said, watching his face carefully.

He merely raised an eyebrow.

"How do you feel about that?"

He shrugged. "Do you like it?"

She nodded. "My time is stretched but I really enjoy it. Makes me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile with my time."

He smiled. "Not just earning a degree."

"What do you mean by that?"

He held his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Nan, I'm not attacking you."

She chuckled darkly. "Yeah."

"I'm not. I swear. I just came here to talk."

She sighed. "Ned, you've never been comfortable with what I do."

"That's not true."

She raised an eyebrow. "Answer me honestly whether you thought that when I went to college, that I'd be able to spend more time with you because I wouldn't be going off to Europe or the other side of the country on a case."

He dipped his head. "Yeah, I did think that."

"But it didn't happen, did it."

"No. And I didn't like it."

"You're not going to like what I'm doing now," she told him softly. "When I'm not doing my homework, I'm at the newspaper. Honestly."

"Bess and George are cool with that?"

She smiled slightly and looked away. "Bess is really into her drama classes. George is running marathons every other weekend."

"You don't miss them too?"

She released a breath. "I do miss them. But this semester is just so busy."

"How was last semester?"

"Busy too," she admitted. "Maybe once I'm done with my math classes, and George has decided on a major that doesn't involve mountain climbing..."

He shook his head. "It doesn't get easier," he told her. "Maybe your last semester."

She smiled. "So I have two more years of this to look forward to," she said.

He nodded. "At least. No grad school included."

She shook her head. "I think not."

He bit into a french fry. "All work and no play, Nan. You need someone to come take you out every now and then."

"How long were you dating that other girl?"

He took a long sip of soda. "Not that long."

"Were you serious about her?"

He shrugged. "Not really."

"Were you going to tell me about her?"

He met her eyes. "Yeah," he said. "But I didn't know if you'd even talk to me. You seemed kind of final before."

She shook her head impatiently. "You should have told me immediately."

"You mean called you and have you hang up on me?"

"No. Today. When you saw me."

"I didn't have much time to do anything other than notice how beautiful you are."

She shook a finger at him. "Don't try to butter me up."

"You know me better than that."

She half-smiled. "Ned, you and I... have a lot of history together. You know how I am. You know how you couldn't take me anywhere without my finding a case. Now... it's like that times two."

He shrugged. "You say that like it changes the way I feel."

"How do you feel?"

"I want to try again."

"But you didn't while you were with that other girl."

"We were broken up, Nan! You were the one who said so!"

She shook her head. "But you had to be with her when I was thinking about trying again."

"Remember Brad?"

"So you found yourself another Belinda?"

He tilted his head. "Did you find yourself another Brad?"

She looked down.

"You did." He pushed his chair back, crossed his arms. "Before or after you wanted to try again?"

She looked up. "Does it matter?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

"Ned, I can't just be your friend. That's not the way I feel about you. It's all or nothing. I've spent a year with it being nothing."

"What was his name?"

She closed her eyes. "Peter."

"Before or after?"

"Before."

"So what went wrong, if I can ask?"

She shrugged. "He was a little too needy. Too sensitive. And then he told me he had a call from the mother of his child and had to go back home."

"Sounds like a real winner."

Her eyes flashed. "Go to hell."

"It's not like you're still with him." Ned's arms were still crossed. "And that was all?"

She looked back down.

"Someone else? Are you seeing someone right now?"

She still didn't meet his eyes.

"What, is this one married?"

She scowled at him. "No. He's my editor."

Ned pushed his chair back. "You have work to do. And so do I."

She didn't stop him as he walked out of the room, without looking back.

\--

_You're coming with Jake, right?_

Nancy kept hearing it in her head. Even between her angry repetitions of Ned's completely unfounded accusations, as though she would date a married man, as though he had any way of knowing Peter or how sensitive and sweet he had been… everyone kept saying that she'd bring Jake to the dance as though it was a matter of course.

But she hadn't even mentioned it to him. When Jake became involved in a story, he lost sight of everything else, schoolwork and personal business, everything.

Including her.

They hadn't been able to work together on a case in a while. It was when they were together, solving some puzzle, putting something together, that she was attracted to him most. In the past few days, or had it been weeks… the most she'd gotten from him were slow smiles across the newsroom, cute comments on the margins of her stories. He seemed distracted, but she herself was, too; after a series of voicemails she'd received, she was sure she was onto a story. A story that might make Jake notice her again.

But now some other brown-haired guy was drifting back into her thoughts.

After the way Ned had left, she wasn't even sure she would hear from him again, or if he would appreciate hearing from her. Seeing his face, hearing his voice, remembering, he had brought it all back. The piece of herself that she'd thought no longer existed, the hope she had felt rising in her when she knew for sure, _for sure_, that he wasn't with someone else anymore.

A determined smile lit her face. Maybe the timing had been just a bit off, but now, maybe, she could remember what it was like to have a best friend again. Even if she and Jake did have some sparks fly outside the newsroom.

\--

"There's a dance this weekend," she said into the receiver.

He exhaled. "I might be busy," he replied.

She chuckled. "I thought as much."

"But maybe I could swing it. Give me the time and place and all that."

She obliged. "It's not formal or anything."

"So you're not going with your editor?"

She sighed. "No. To be honest, I don't think things have ever been worse between the two of us."

"You move quick in so short a time."

"Look, why don't you just—"

"I'm sorry. But I think we do need to talk."

She nodded. "I think so too," she said quietly.

\--

"You know, I look at you and it's hard to remember that it's been over a year since I've seen you."

He smiled in reply and dipped her backwards. She tossed her hair back. "I think we should save conversation until we leave here, or until they play something with a little less bass," he said into her ear.

"You look nice," he told her a few hours later when they slid into a booth at an all-night diner near campus, all gleaming chrome and red leather naugahyde seats. "You look good in green."

"You look good too." She scooped her hair back from her glowing face and smiled at him.

"So how involved are you with this guy?"

Nancy shrugged as she glanced over the menu. "Let's just say that if it were very serious I wouldn't be seeing you right now."

"Is that true?" he asked softly.

She looked up and met his eyes. "I don't know." She smiled to herself. "I forget how right it feels to be with you."

"And I'm sure he'll hear that you were dancing with some mysterious handsome guy at the party tonight."

She snickered. "I bet he's at the office right now, working on something."

"So you're not on a c— story right now?"

"Case?" she finished what he'd stopped himself from saying. "I'm always on a story. Some of them are more... hands-on than others. No, I'm not on one that's really like a case, right now."

"So what stories are you writing now?"

"One about daycare for students on campus, another one is the perpetual story about whether SAT scores really are a good indication of how well a student will do in college. I think Jake's punishing me."

"Is that his name?"

She nodded. "He and I had a really big fight..."

He waited, and she shifted in her seat. "I bet you don't really want to hear about this."

He shrugged. "This is up to you."

"What do you mean?"

"You said it was all or nothing. I don't think it can be all with you seeing another guy."

"It doesn't bother you?"

He chuckled. "Of course it bothers me. I don't know this guy. Not that I'd want you to be with him even if I did know him."

"He wears cowboy boots," she said. "He's an arrogant bastard."

"And you like him because...?"

"For a long time I didn't. I thought he was a complete prick. He asked me to go out with him while I was still seeing Peter, and he knew that."

"Just to get things straight..." Ned took a sip of his coffee. "Did you know Peter had a child when the two of you started dating?"

Nancy shook her head. "He didn't tell me until about three days before he finally decided to leave."

"So, did Jake sustain a severe blow to the head and have a complete personality overhaul?"

"No. He just started growing on me. He and I were working together all the time, discussing stories and theories about things. Like the cheating ring we found on campus."

"There was a cheating ring?" He shook his head, incredulous. "Though I shouldn't say anything, considering how many thieves and criminals you've found at Emerson."

She smiled. "Yeah. I was a little surprised too. Anyway. I didn't want to date him. I'd had enough with Peter, I just wanted to concentrate on work and school for a while. But he was persistent."

He took another sip of his coffee. "I bet he's really supportive of your work."

She toyed with a sugar packet. "We fight over it all the time," she admitted. "And I mean fight. Screaming and everything. He makes me so mad sometimes, when he assumes I can't handle things."

He smiled. "I'm tempted to ask if that's how you feel about me."

She shook her head. "You never questioned my abilities as... a detective, and being an investigative reporter is almost the same thing. There were a few times, but with us..."

He propped his chin on his hands. "I just wanted to be with you," he said softly. He watched her smile again, eyes cast down, the glow back in her cheeks. "Damn, I missed you so much."

He was surprised to see tears in her eyes when she looked up. "Even after you were with... her..."

"Erika," he filled in.

"I almost called you so many times. Just to bounce ideas off you. With Jake I'm always competing. He stole a story right out from under me once."

Ned opened his mouth, then shook his head and shut it.

"What?" she asked.

"Why are you with him?"

She shook her head. "With you in front of me I can't think of a single reason," she said.

\--

Ned left around four in the morning, even after Nancy offered him a place to sleep. Not in her room, but a spare bed in the room of a guy she knew. She was concerned that he might fall asleep at the wheel. He turned her down with a smile and a promise to drink gas-station coffee until he got back to Emerson.

Nancy sat down in the hallway, carefully, the late hour finally catching up with her. She leaned against a cream-colored wall and called Bess's cell phone.

"Hmm?" Bess answered.

"I have frosted sugar cookies," Nancy said distinctly. "Are you awake?"

"Why do you have cookies? Where are you?"

"Right outside your room," Nancy said. "We need to talk. I'm sorry."

\--

A group of freshmen were watching Cartoon Network Adult Swim when they walked into the lounge. Bess made a face and settled on a couch as far away from the melee as they could get.

"You better hand me a cookie right now, Drew," Bess said crossly. "Ten nerdy boys just saw me in my bathrobe."

Nancy handed over a pink-frosted cookie and Bess closed her eyes in bliss as she chewed a bite. "Good?"

Bess opened one eye. "Either Jake got you pregnant or you need me to pose as a stripper."

"I'm not pregnant and I don't need you to pose as a stripper."

Bess snapped her fingers in mock regret. "Either way I'd better be getting another cookie out of this."

Nancy handed one over. "Ned came to see me."

Bess opened both eyes. "I was wondering when that would happen."

Nancy tilted her head. "You knew he was going to?"

Bess shrugged. "Nan, he's not over you. He'll never be over you. Remember when I was talking to him, after the whole thing with Paul?"

Nancy nodded. "I remember. I remember being jealous."

"You didn't need to be. Much as I like Ned, I think half the reason he called was to see how you were doing. Not that he didn't care about what I was going through. I still owe him a dinner for all that."

"Maybe we should all go out sometime."

"All of us? Even Jake?" Bess raised an eyebrow.

Nancy shook her head. "I don't know what to do about that," she said.

"About what? You two are pretty serious, I thought. From the last time you two saw each other, before this..." Bess shrugged. "Whatever you two are arguing about now."

"I didn't argue with Ned like this."

Bess shook her head. "No, you didn't. One could argue that you might have, if you'd been around him this much. But you and Ned did spend a lot of time together over the summer and nothing happened like that nuclear meltdown you have with Jake."

"Maybe that's why I like him."

Bess shrugged and reached for another cookie, then closed the plastic case and pushed it toward Nancy. "Don't let me have another one. Yeah, you two are pretty volatile. You and Ned never really were. Maybe you just wanted some excitement."

Nancy shrugged. "He's not going to like it."

"Who won't like what?"

"Ned's not going to like me working at the paper. He won't like all the time it eats, he won't like my working on stories... What are you laughing about?"

Bess swallowed the last of her cookie. "You're talking like you're already back with him," she replied gently.

"But how can I go back to him like this? Maybe Jake and I are supposed to be together. We work so well together."

"When you're not screaming at each other or fuming, sure." Bess glanced at the cookies, then looked away. "But yeah. He's a good reporter and editor."

"He's interested in the same things I am."

"And you step on each other's toes."

Nancy shook her head. "And Ned... this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing him. Ever. I thought this time it was for good."

Bess shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe he's just trying one last time. I doubt it, but it's possible. You're leading him on, Nan."

"How am I leading him on?"

"What were you doing right before you came to my room?"

"I was at the store buying those cookies for you so you wouldn't kill me."

"Was he with you? Did Ned take you there?"

Nancy nodded. "We were talking."

"How long had the two of you been 'talking'?" Bess made quotes in the air with her fingers.

"It wasn't like that. We were catching up on things."

"Sure you were." Bess smirked.

"I'm not leading him on."

Bess shrugged. "Fine. Look... is Ned pressing you to make a decision, or does he just want an in back into your life? Does he want to be friends, or is he asking you to be his girlfriend again?"

"He's not asking me that. Not point-blank. I was the one who said I could never be just friends with him."

"Why can't you?"

"It really hurt me when I thought he was with someone else. I don't think I can do that. Even if he can sit on the sidelines and watch me with Jake somehow, I don't think I can do the same for him."

Bess smiled. "You've made your choice."

"No I haven't." Nancy spread her arms. "Jake is exciting and dangerous and fun to be with. And we have chemistry."

Bess nodded. "I'm not arguing that."

"What does Ned have that can top that?"

"The ability to turn your head away from an exciting, dangerous, fun guy."

"He'll probably always be able to do that."

"Maybe." Bess gave her a probing glance. "You said you _thought_ he was with someone else?"

Nancy nodded. "I mean, he was. But I get the idea that he wasn't that serious with her."

"You mean not serious the way you are with Jake. The way you were with Peter. You've told him about Peter?"

Nancy nodded. "He wasn't impressed."

Bess snickered. "Ned's never very impressed with the guys you choose over him."

"Oh come on. You say it like this happens all the time."

"More times than I can count. Nan, you're a flirt. Not like me, but you still are. I think Ned was sick of it, and that's why he went along with it when you said you should take some time apart. I think maybe you two needed that. You, to be free and hang out with other guys. Him, to see that even with all your faults, he still wanted to be with you."

"What faults?" Nancy gave Bess a dimpled smile. "Me, less than perfect?"

\--

"That story better be on my desk, Drew." Jake glanced over his shoulder at her before vanishing into his office.

Nancy followed him and shut the door behind her. "That story is bullshit and you know it. I'm working on the grade-purchasing ring in the Chemistry department."

"No, you're not. You are going to work on the day care story. You haven't shown me enough proof to let you waste your time on that story."

"Then give me time to go find some."

"I need copy I can use. That day care story, I can use." His expression softened. "Nancy, I'm trying to give you a break here. I know that classes are getting tough right now, I know you've been wearing yourself out. If they are buying grades, they still will be in a few weeks when you can devote all your time to that story."

"So you will let me do it?"

He nodded. "Just not right now."

"I've already talked to a few people. What if they talk to the people involved and there's no evidence in two weeks, Jake?"

He shrugged and walked behind her, put his hands on her shoulders. "There will be, Nan. Have faith. I'd rather have a less convincing story than you in the student health center with a nervous breakdown." He started rubbing her tense muscles and she let her head hang forward.

"I'm not going to have a nervous breakdown," she muttered. "Unless you don't stop giving me bullshit stories."

His hands stopped. "Stop saying the stories I give you are bullshit."

"Stop treating me like I'm five." She turned around, her eyes flashing. "When have I been unable to judge my own stress level before, that I need you to do it for me? Why can't you let me make my own decisions?"

"Because your decisions are getting me in trouble."

She folded her arms. "And what does that mean?"

"Jackie went to the faculty coordinator. She told him that she suspects me of giving you favors and preference over the other members of the staff."

Nancy shrugged. "There's no basis for that accusation."

"Are you saying that just because she didn't take Polaroids when she walked in on us that one time?"

Nancy flushed slightly. "But she didn't tell him you and I were..."

Jake shook his head. "Not yet. And if we want to keep our jobs I think we should keep a lower profile for a while. Much as I appreciate that passion in other ways," he said, winking, "I think we should be good little children for the next few weeks. I'll give her a few stories, calm her down."

"Are you going to give her the Chemistry grade buying story?"

"Nancy, you said that was one teacher's assistant buying one student a drink."

Nancy opened her mouth, then tilted her head. "Answer my question, Jake."

\--

"We will talk later, won't we?"

Nancy nodded. "Keep a lookout for me. I'll be right back."

Ned turned so he was blocking anyone else's view of her and looked out at the deserted courtyard. "Be careful."

She smiled. "Always."

An hour later Ned wrapped his hands around a warm cup of cocoa and met Nancy's eyes. He swiped a hand under his eye in a calculated gesture. "You gonna tell me about that?"

She looked down, averting her red-rimmed gaze. "Jake and I had another fight."

"Is that why he wasn't your boy in black for the evening?"

She nodded slightly. "Part of it. He basically forbid me from doing what we just did."

"He's not cool with a little light B&amp;E?" Ned smiled.

"More like he didn't want me even working on this story. Not so much the B&amp;E part."

"Why not? It sounds like a pretty serious story."

Nancy swiped a hand over her cheek. "I'm sorry. Um... I think it is pretty serious. I think he's an idiot for not wanting me to follow it. To be honest I don't know what his real reason is. He gave me a lot of b.s. today, and that was most of our argument."

"Do you think you have enough evidence there?" He gestured at the manila folder of documents she'd carried into the diner with them.

She looked away. "You know what," she said softly, "I was just trying to figure out if it would be enough to convince him. Not the campus police, not anyone else. Just him. I don't know what's wrong with me."

She reached up and started rubbing her temples, and Ned reached across the table. "Hey," he murmured, smiling when she slid her hand into his. "It's all right."

"I'm afraid he's going to give this story to someone else," she admitted. "Give someone else attention for it. And I can't stand the thought of that. And it's stupid. I'm the one who got the anonymous tip."

"And now you're the one with the evidence to write the story."

She smiled at him. "You're listening to me complain about another guy."

He shrugged. "I feel like I'm on probation," he admitted.

"I haven't even given you an answer yet," she said curiously. "And you keep coming back."

He slid his thumb down the side of her hand, and she didn't pull away. "You just gave me an answer."

She pulled back then, propped her chin on her hands and met his gaze frankly. "If, and it's a big if I'm talking about here, I were to decide to give you another chance, since obviously you have—"

"Hey, when did I say that?" he asked, smiling.

She laced her fingers between his and he squeezed gently. "Just now."

"What were you saying?" he asked, finding it difficult to look away from their joined hands.

"What I said to you when we broke up hasn't changed."

He shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe."

"What do you mean, maybe? If anything I'm even busier than before."

"Close your eyes, Nan."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Just do it." She obliged. "Remember a summer in the Hamptons, with us standing on a beach in a situation not dissimilar to this one..."

She half-smiled, eyes still closed. "But his name was Sasha instead of Jake."

Ned ran his thumb over her palm and watched her startle. "Remember a certain devastatingly handsome guy standing there with you?"

A wide grin stretched over Nancy's face. "No, can't say I remember Johnny Depp being there."

Ned's fingers tightened on hers and Nancy's eyes opened. "I told you then that I couldn't stop loving you. No matter what."

"Even while you were with her?"

He nodded slowly. "Even right now, when you're with Cowboy Boots."

She laughed. Then she met his eyes, serious again. "There was also a time when you told me how hard it was for you to give me love and support and that kind of thing."

"It is hard," he admitted. "You are amazing, and brilliant. And independent. Almost intimidatingly so."

She chuckled.

"I'm not saying that everything will be easy if we do get back together. But I do agree with you. The two of us were not meant to be just friends."

"I thought I'd accepted not having you at all," she murmured.

"You thought?" he repeated.

"Seeing you here, it's like breaking up with you was just a nightmare I had. But there's still Jake. Cowboy Boots," she said, chuckling again.

He tilted his head. "There is still that. And even though I will love you forever, that doesn't mean I'm willing to be second best."

"Are you asking me to make that decision tonight?"

He looked down at his cocoa, then shook his head. "As much as I want to, no. I have a deadline in my head and tonight's not it."

She looked at him quizzically. "My father's getting remarried this Saturday," she told him.

Ned looked a little dazed. "I remember seeing that in the paper," he said. "And not really comprehending."

"I know," Nancy said wryly. "Try it from this side of the table."

"Want someone there for moral support?"

"Well, I'll have several someones," she told him. "But I won't object to you being one. And no, to answer the question I can just see in your eyes, he won't be there."

"Good." Ned visibly relaxed. "You have a date."

\--

George tossed a popcorn kernel into her mouth. "I ran into Jake at the dining hall the other day. He was acting a little weird."

"Weird how?" Nancy asked carefully.

"He asked if I'd seen you, and how you were doing. Mentioned something about a story."

Bess couldn't hold back any longer and started giggling. Due to Nancy's distraction, she put on a burst of speed and passed her on the video game they were playing in Nancy's bedroom. The three girls were spending the night at Nancy's father's house the night before the impending wedding. Nancy had asked them over, for moral support.

"What did you tell him?"

"That I hadn't seen you recently but I was sure you were doing fine." George took a sip of her iced tea. "In fact, the only reason I'm here is because I passed on doing a tennis charity benefit this weekend. Not that I don't love you guys," she said as Nancy paused the game and tossed a pillow at her.

"I've seen you a grand total of maybe, what, three times this semester?" Bess protested. "Sure, that's love. I don't even know when you have breaks from class."

"And you're playing Mario Kart when I could be telling you about my new boyfriend."

Bess's hair flew as she stared at her cousin. "Your _what?"_

"Maybe I don't have one." George blushed and looked down.

"You do!" Bess started laughing. "I can't believe it!"

"Is it so hard to believe?" George asked, defensive.

"No," Nancy said gently. "It's just that after Will and everything..."

"Yeah," Bess piped back up. "You took Will pretty hard. So tell us about this new guy. Is he hot?"

"Of course he's hot," Nancy nudged Bess. "And I'm going to beat you again."

"He's actually coaching at the tournament this weekend," George admitted.

"Hey, to see a hottie maybe we can go check out this tournament. After the wedding?" Bess glanced at Nancy. "And no you're not going to beat me again."

"With that one wussy mushroom?" Nancy laughed. "Yeah, maybe we can go check it out. If I'm not checked into a mental hospital after."

"You're not going to a mental hospital, Nan." George took another sip of tea.

"So, stats?" Nancy asked, cheering as she crossed the finish line in front of Bess.

"Dark blond hair, green eyes. And he's great with kids."

"How did you meet him? Hey!" Bess started another race and cackled as she caught Nancy off-guard.

"I was supposed to play winner," George protested. Nancy paused the game and George caught the controller Nancy tossed in her direction. "He came over for a tennis tournament during the summer. That's how we met. Then I ran into him again and…" she shrugged.

"Is he going to school around here?" Nancy stood up to let George have her place on the bed, then folded her legs under her in the floral papasan chair.

"He's actually already graduated."

"You gonna talk or race, Fayne?" Bess asked, leaning forward on the bed to stare at her racer.

"Oh watch me, Marvin," George grinned.

"Thanks for doing this," Nancy said to them both, watching them jockey for position on the screen. "You really didn't have to."

Bess shrugged. "I was dying to ask you how things were going with Ned."

"_Ned?_" George asked, darting a look at Nancy quickly so Bess wouldn't get a lead on her. "What? Aren't you with Jake?"

"Kinda," Nancy said, twisting her hands in her lap. "Kinda. Things have been going..."

"Well, why don't you start at the beginning," George said. "Because you've just completely blown my mind."

Nancy filled them both in on recent events, up until she'd invited Ned to the wedding.

"I hate to say it, Nan, but I have to agree with Bess here. You've already made your choice," George said.

"No I haven't," Nancy protested.

"Well..." George tossed the controller down as she beat Bess over the finish line again. "Let's weigh the positives and negatives here."

"Jake is good looking," Bess began.

"So is Ned," George said.

"Jake is dangerous and flirty and exciting."

"Ned is dependable and flirty when he wants to be, and helps you on cases when you need him to."

"Jake helps you when he wants. And he's already on campus."

"Ned's not on campus. But you've known him a lot longer."

"But Jake is new and different. And fun to hang out with."

"And you have arguments with him that you never could have had with Ned," George pointed out, then laughed when Bess smacked her with a pillow.

"Ned does have a temper," Nancy said. "But not like Jake."

"What does Jake want out of your relationship?" Bess asked point-blank.

Nancy shrugged. "I don't know. We don't really talk about it. I kind of think he wants it to end up in bed."

Bess wrinkled an eyebrow. "Hasn't it?"

Nancy colored slightly. "Not really."

"Hey, you're among friends," George said. "I'm the last person who would tell you it's wrong. Except if the guy's name is Will."

"We haven't really done anything."

"Haven't really," Bess repeated. "Haven't really means kinda. Kinda means something."

Nancy held her hands up, palms out. "Hey. It's mostly that he's gotten to third. But no more than that."

Bess and George exchanged glances. "How does Ned feel about that?" Bess asked, snatching a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

"Ned doesn't know."

"But you said Ned knows about Jake, right?"

Nancy nodded. "I told him about Jake. But I told him it wasn't that serious."

"If third isn't that serious I wonder what is," Bess snickered, then winced when George hit her with the pillow. "Do you think it will upset Ned, is that why you haven't told him?"

"Is it any of his business?" Nancy asked defensively. "It's not like I've asked for details about Erika."

"But you're going to, aren't you?" George asked. "I mean, I'm dying to know and I was never his girlfriend."

"But if Nan asks about the other girl then she has to tell about Jake," Bess pointed out.

Nancy flopped backwards in the chair. "I don't know," she said. "And I don't really want to think about it. Until his little internal deadline passes."

"But you have no idea when that will be," George said. "It could be tomorrow."

"Or a month from now. But either way you need to make up your mind. And the fact that you're even wondering whether he'll forgive you, well... sounds like you're already thinking about telling him."

\--

"I need to ask you something," Nancy whispered to Ned.

He blinked. "Okay," he said. "Now?"

She was leaning over him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, in her bridesmaid's gown. The ceremony was about to start, and Ned was seated on the groom's side of the church.

"No, not now. After. I'll catch up with you at my car, okay?"

He nodded wordlessly.

An hour later Nancy had cleared the receiving line and was walking through the dance floor, following Ned to the parking lot. Her father and new stepmother were dancing, Iris in a tailored ivory two-piece that set off her dark hair and flawless makeup. Her father was in a dark formal suit with an ivory vest.

"Nancy," Iris said, halting Carson. Nancy turned to her expectantly.

"I was wondering if you and I might be able to have lunch Friday, after Carson and I get back."

"I can't do lunch, I have a pretty full schedule that day. Maybe dinner?"

Iris nodded. "That sounds nice. I'll call you when we get back, is that all right?"

Nancy nodded and smiled. "Congratulations, you two," she said, leaning over to kiss her father on the cheek.

By the time she reached her Mustang, Ned was looking at her in concern, leaning back with his arms folded over his green dress shirt. "Hey," he said softly.

She looked up at him. "Hey," she said, trying a smile.

He opened his arms and drew her into them, and she closed her eyes and breathed against his neck, smiling when she felt a tremor over his skin. "You okay?"

She nodded, measuring her breath. "I feel like I'm in the twilight zone," she said. "Iris just asked if I'd have lunch with her. The two of us alone. The last time we talked like that, she was basically trying to get my permission for them to get married."

"I'm sure she wasn't quite so mercenary as all that," Ned chuckled.

She shrugged. "I'm sure you're right," she said. "Man. This is a little dangerous," she said, tilting her head back to look into his eyes.

"A little?" he asked.

"Do you know how easy it would be..."

"To do this?" he asked her, leaning down by slow degrees until their lips were almost touching. She closed her eyes and breathed in his breath.

"I wanted to ask you if you'd go to a tennis tournament with us," Nancy said. "And then maybe out to dinner."

"Good thing you told me, else I'd have filled up on shrimp cocktail," he murmured.

Nancy opened her eyes to stare into his. "When's your deadline, Ned?"

He kissed the corner of her mouth and pulled back. "It hasn't passed yet," he said.

"Are you going to tell me when it does?"

"Yeah." He ran a hand over her hair, and she straightened the front of his shirt. "But it's not right now. So why a tennis tournament? You do mean today, right?" he asked, looking up at the overcast sky.

"We're going to get a look at George's new boyfriend," Nancy said, laughing when Ned raised an eyebrow. "We haven't seen him yet. And Bess tells me she owes you dinner, for some reason."

Ned smiled, a nostalgic look on his face. "Bet she hasn't told you where."

\--

_"Where_ in Chicago?" Nancy asked. She held her cell phone to her head with one hand and was steering the Mustang with the other.

Bess tried to explain again. "You're on the on-ramp, aren't you? You're almost here."

"Well, Dad gave me fifty bucks for taking him and Iris to the airport. So I'm all set."

"Ned's already here."

"Can you hand him the phone for a second?"

"Sure. Why?"

"It'll just be for a sec, Bess."

"Hey gorgeous," Ned said into the phone next.

"Bess has no idea what she's in for, does she," Nancy said, a smile in her voice.

"No idea," he agreed. "You wearing that blue silk number I like so much?"

"Now what kind of girl would I be if I satisfied you every chance I had?"

"You shouldn't ask me something like that," Ned replied, laughing. "See you in a sec, Nan."

He raised an eyebrow as she maneuvered between some tables and took the seat next to him. He leaned over and placed his mouth near her ear. "What kind of girl did you say you were?"

Nancy smoothed the skirt of the blue silk dress. "Just be glad it was at my house," she murmured in return.

Two hours later Nancy, Bess, George, George's date Scott, and Bess's date Mark were watching Ned clean off his plate. Everyone but Nancy was incredulous; Nancy herself was stifling a yawn with the back of her fingers.

"I cannot believe you don't need a go-box," Bess finally said.

"Bess, take it from me. If Ned ever bets you dinner, do not take him up on it." Nancy smiled at him. "Only took me once to learn that lesson."

"So you two are..." Scott gestured between the two of them. "Thanks for coming to the tennis match, by the way." He glanced in George's direction, and she smiled.

Nancy and Ned looked at each other. "Ex," she said.

Scott's eyebrows lifted. "Oh. That explains..." he trailed off.

"What?" Ned asked.

"They've always been able to finish each other's sentences, that kind of thing," Bess interjected, smiling.

"You two still remember how to dance?" George asked. "I think we should go out and celebrate."

"Celebrate what, my new stepmother?" Nancy was smiling but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Your new stepmother, Scott's team's stunning victory today..." George patted Scott's shoulder. "There's a great club I know Bess has been dying to try out."

"Club Geneva?" Bess asked, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, yeah. Come on, you guys. You up for it?" she asked Mark, and he nodded. "Nan? Ned? After the bill tonight the least you can do is go out with us, Ned," Bess pleaded.

"I think you need something to distract you," Ned whispered to Nancy.

She smiled weakly. "Look, I'm sure all of you..."

"Nan, come on," George said.

"Nan, George is the one asking if we can go out. _George_." Bess gestured dramatically. "Who knows when this will happen again."

"All right," Nancy sighed, and the other girls cheered.

\--

"Aren't you in one of my classes?" Mark asked over the throbbing bass beat of the music.

Nancy tilted her head. "Tell me which classes you're taking."

As he thought about it, Nancy glanced around. Bess and Ned were dancing near them, having fun twirling each other. George and Scott were dancing a bit closer than either of the other couples, and George's cheeks were flushed with excitement.

"This was the best idea ever," she heard Bess call to George over Ned's shoulder.

"I think we're in English together," Nancy said suddenly. "I think that's it. You sit on the third row most of the time."

Just then the DJ cued up a slower song and Ned tapped the two of them. "I'm sure you want to get back to the wild girl over there," Ned said, smiling, and Nancy stepped into his arms.

"This is dangerous too," she said, smiling up at him, her eyes gleaming. "Silk dress, slow dancing..."

Ned swung her into a quick step, then dipped her slightly. "This isn't dangerous."

She raised an eyebrow. "Maybe what's dangerous is that I don't feel scared right now."

"Why would you feel scared?" Their faces were inches apart, staring into each other's eyes, their movements nearly imperceptible.

"I have a new stepmother, I have no idea what to tell Jake about you, I have no idea when your deadline will be or what I will do when it happens. And George has a new boyfriend I only found out about last night."

Ned chuckled. "Oh, so you didn't know about him either."

Nancy shook her head. "Nope."

"Don't stress over the deadline, Nan. Not that I'm not incredibly curious about what you're going to tell Jake."

"I told you, I'm not scared right now." She laughed quietly, her eyes half-lidded.

"Is Iris that scary?"

Nancy shrugged. "It's not so much that as... it's been me and Dad and Hannah for so long now. And now... I don't know how it's going to be."

Ned half-smiled. "Sounds familiar," he said.

\--

Nancy was murmuring the French conversation she was learning under her breath as she dropped a computer disk with her latest story on Jake's desk. She turned around and gasped, stopping her recitation of her end of the conversation.

"Hi Nan," Jake said from the doorway. "That your story?"

Nancy nodded. "Yeah. Tell me if I need to make any changes."

Jake closed the door and stepped toward her. "Look, I hate that I can't see you. Can we have dinner Friday night?"

Nancy looked over to the side. "I'm having it with my stepmother," she said. "And I'm going to be pretty busy the rest of this week."

"What about tomorrow night? My treat."

Nancy gave him a tiny smile. "Under duress, okay?"

"Why under duress?" Jake slid an arm around her shoulders. "Your next deadline isn't until Friday."

"Well, after I learn this conversation I have some exercises to do for my copyediting class..."

"Which you'll finish in three minutes flat. You're a natural. Ink is in your blood, Nan." He smiled at her. "Someone needs to help you relax."

_You need someone to come take you out every now and then_. Nancy closed her eyes. "Okay," she murmured. "Tomorrow night."

\--

"I know you're probably not up for the ride, but _Casablanca_ is playing at the campus theater."

Nancy laughed. "You remembered."

"How could I forget? I practically have the dialogue memorized."

"That sounds great, Ned," Nancy said wistfully. "And if I didn't have all this work..."

"Hey, no worries," Ned replied. "More romantic to watch it alone together anyway."

Nancy groaned. "Oh man."

"Did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No, no... I have to go out to dinner tonight."

"Not with Iris, right, that's this weekend...?"

"No. With Jake."

Ned was quiet for a minute. "Oh."

"Ned—"

"Just don't wear the silk dress, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered. "I won't."

"And... I'll talk to you later." His voice would have been unreadable to anyone else.

"Later," she replied, and hung up the phone.

\--

"Hello?" Bess answered her phone. Nancy heard someone in the background shout "Turn it! No!"

"Bess?" Nancy asked.

A door closed, and the background noise decreased. "Okay," Bess breathed. "Sorry. I have no idea who half those people are or what they're doing in my room."

Nancy chuckled. "Tell me what to wear tonight."

"What's the occasion?" Bess was immediately focused on the task at hand.

"Dinner with Jake."

"Hmm," Bess said, considering. "Are you going for devastatingly gorgeous, or prim and proper?"

Nancy made a noise in her throat. "Hadn't really thought about it that way."

"Are you going to break up with him tonight?"

"I... don't think so, no. If anything it would be incredibly awkward to work with him. I have a story to turn in on Friday."

"Oh. So that's how you're going to let Ned's deadline pass."

"I'm not just going to let it pass," Nancy protested. "Unless."

"Unless what?"

"I don't know," Nancy finished lamely.

"Ned's not going to wait forever. Maybe I was wrong, and you're just going to sit back and let him go by."

"I don't want to do that," Nancy murmured.

Bess chuckled. "That's what you're setting yourself up for. He won't take second-best either. Isn't that what he told you?"

"Are you on his side, Bess?"

Nancy could almost hear her shrug. "Ned never stole a story out from under you," Bess said. "Don't get me wrong, it didn't make me feel good when you called me crying over his being with another girl. That was incredibly sucky timing. To be honest, Nan, that was when I started thinking that this separation wasn't going to last too long."

"I was just calling him to talk," Nancy said wryly.

"Sure you were, Nan," Bess said. "Wear the black flared pants and the burgundy silk shirt. And do something with your hair. Not anything too serious."

"Thanks," Nancy replied.

\--

"I thought your father hadn't remarried," Jake said curiously.

Nancy swallowed a bite of pasta. Jake had taken her to a small Italian restaurant. He was even wearing a suit, something he typically loathed. "He did. Recently. I don't know her that well."

"Recently, like... before we met?"

Nancy shook her head. "No. As in Saturday."

"Oh." Jake looked down. "So... how was it?"

"Beautiful," Nancy said. A half-smiled touched her lips. "How much longer are you and I going to need to eat together two towns away from school?"

Jake shrugged. "I gave Jackie a story, she's happy. And it's not like this state of affairs is permanent, anyway."

Nancy tilted her head. "How do you mean?"

"Next year I'll be graduated. Even though I don't really want to wait that long to hang out with you."

Nancy shrugged. "Is it really that big a rule?"

Jake took a spoonful of his soup. "If Jackie gets angry again, she can get me fired for misconduct. Because it's not fair to anyone else if I give you special consideration."

Nancy carefully placed her fork on her plate and folded her hands in her lap. "Do you feel that you give me special consideration?"

Jake shrugged. "Not really. But that doesn't really matter, does it? Just means I can't give you any favors. Even if I want to."

"Do you want to give me favors, Jake?"

He chuckled. "Not ones that involve stories in the paper."

Nancy raised an eyebrow. "Did you hear back from the _Sun-Tribune_?"

Jake nodded. "As long as I keep up with the work I'm doing, Karen is very positive about my chances."

"Sounds like you'll just have to wait, then." Nancy picked up her fork again and took a bite of vegetable.

"Or not," Jake said.

"What, you're going to lobby for permission to date me?" Nancy took a sip of her drink.

"I don't really want to rock the boat when I'm so close to graduation."

Nancy smiled. "Well, as long as you want to date this reporter..."

"Yeah." Jake sighed. "Um..."

\--

_"He actually said that I should quit!"_ Nancy shouted into the phone.

"Nan, Nan, calm down. Um... why are you not calling Bess with this?"

"She's not picking up her phone! That _prick!"_

George laughed. "Calm down. So what exactly did he say...?"

"That if I really did want to keep going out with him, I'd do this for him! I could always go back to the paper next year, after he'd graduated! He said it like it solved everything! And when I asked him what was wrong with him, he was completely shocked!"

"Guys are idiots, Nan," George said. "Oh. Not you, Scott," she said.

"Oh. You're with him." With an effort Nancy calmed down. "I'm sorry. Just... give me a call back when you're free."

"No. Nan, we can talk now."

"No. It's okay. I didn't realize you were busy."

"You sound pretty mad."

"I'll get over it. I need to go back to my room and start on my homework anyway." Nancy wiped under her eyes and grimaced when she saw the marks left by her mascara. "Have a good night, George."

Before her friend could make further protest, Nancy hung up the phone and blew her nose. She looked down at her cell phone again and considered for a second, then stared, distracted, at the shrubs surrounding the rest area.

Her cell phone rang. She looked down at the caller ID and silenced Jake's call. After he'd hung up, she placed another call.

"So how was _Casablanca_?"

Ned laughed. "Without you, Nan, I didn't really see the point. There's another showing at midnight, though," he said jokingly.

"Can I be there in time?" She looked at the clock in her dashboard.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I can. I'm just outside campus right now, I'll leave here in five minutes. Are you at the frat?"

"Yeah," he said slowly. "Um, let me call the ticket office and get tickets...?"

"I'll pay you back," she said, climbing out of the Mustang. She locked the car and headed to the ladies' room to wash her face.

"Don't worry about it, it's just two bucks if I remember right," he said. "You okay?"

"I'll be fine," she said. "See you in a while."

\--

"You don't have a lot of homework or anything, do you?" Nancy asked anxiously.

Ned shrugged and put an arm around her shoulders. "I'll be fine," he said softly. Nancy shivered slightly at the feel of his breath on her skin. "Sure you don't want any popcorn or anything?"

She smiled at him. "Nah, that's okay. God knows how long it's been sitting out there. Thanks for getting me a ticket, though."

He smiled back and touched the tip of her nose. "Sure thing. I'm gonna go grab a candy bar or something. You know me, two hour feedings." He chuckled. "Diet soda?"

"Sure," she said, pulling his coat over her shoulders against the chill in the theater. "Hurry back," she said, looking up at him.

He held her gaze for a moment longer than necessary. "Sure," he murmured.

After the movie they walked back across campus to his frat house, Nancy's arm tucked into the crook of Ned's elbow. The other couple who had shown up for the movie had nodded at Ned in recognition. Nancy felt a glow of pride, walking along with the star quarterback.

"So tell me what's wrong," Ned said.

Nancy shook her head. "Jake suggested that I quit my job at the paper so I could be with him."

Ned whistled under his breath. "Wow."

"I know! Can you believe the nerve?" Nancy tilted her head to look at Ned's face.

Ned exhaled. "He sounds like a real jerk," he admitted.

She saw the corners of his mouth twitching. "You're glad," she accused him.

Ned shrugged and put his arm over her shoulders. "You're with me right now," he said simply. "I wasn't able to do a damn thing on my homework after you told me you'd be with him tonight."

"You want me where you can keep an eye on me?"

"I want you where I can keep both eyes and both hands on you," he said, smiling. "But right now... what did you do?"

"Well, he told me that I could just go back to work at the newspaper once he graduated. As though working there was just a hobby and I could buckle down and concentrate on my schoolwork, and _him_... and I got up and left. Right in the middle of the restaurant. Didn't even get to dessert."

They had reached the front entrance of Ned's frat, and he unlocked the door. "Well, we have half a cheesecake in the freezer if I remember right," he said. "Assuming it wasn't demolished on a study break. You're welcome to anything we can find."

Nancy smiled at him, then ran her tongue over her teeth. "After that soda I need to brush my teeth," she said. "I'm gonna go grab my backpack."

"I'll meet you at the back entrance," Ned said.

For a minute they looked at each other. By degrees she slid closer to him, until she stood, hands behind her back, head tilted so she could see into his eyes. She could feel the heat radiating from his skin as he slowly leaned toward her.

"Okay," she murmured. "I'll see you there."

She could predict what he would have done, before, but before wasn't now. She reached up and traced a finger over his cheek, slow, eyes half-lidded. He cupped a hand around her jaw and leaned down until their foreheads were touching.

"Yeah," he whispered, and kissed the side of her mouth. She closed her eyes as his thumb stroked over her cheekbone and he kissed the other side.

\--

_Jake could say he's sorry tomorrow._

Nancy slammed the lid of her trunk and adjusted the backpack on her shoulder. She began the walk back to Ned's fraternity house.

She felt weightless. The thought carried no importance, no anxiety, because here there was no tomorrow, no dread of a confrontation with Jake, no hard ball of sorrow in her stomach over having ended it. Only a slow steady humming just beneath her skin that increased the nearer she came to Ned.

Her cell phone rang again and she fished it out of her purse, checked the caller ID. With a sigh she answered.

"Please stop calling me."

"Nancy, I'm so—"

She hung up the phone, then pressed the power button. She spotted the warm glow of the lamp on the back porch and headed for it, huddling into his leather jacket against the brisk wind.

"Hey man, shut the door," she heard Mike say as she reached it. "You're letting in a draft and it's way too cold outside."

"Hey Mike," Nancy said in greeting, watching Ned's best friend walk around the kitchen in his bathrobe. "All-nighter?"

Mike shot a smile in her direction that almost, but didn't quite, reach his eyes. "Hey Nancy," he said. "You two kids can have it. I am gonna be worthless tomorrow if I don't try to get some sleep."

Ned waved goodbye to Mike and opened the freezer door. "I see about three ice cream cartons in here, but I have a bad feeling at least two probably have a spoonful left in them. What are you in the mood for?"

She reached out and placed her hand over his, shoved the door closed. "I'm not hungry, Ned."

"You sure?"

She looked down. "He just tried to call me again."

"While you were outside?"

She nodded, looking into his eyes. Hers were slightly wet. "You have homework to do, don't you?"

\--

"'Your office manager refuses to listen to reason. Even after you have fairly negotiated her salary, she still protests that she deserves more, and that she can convince her entire office to follow her in a strike. None of the people in her office have expressed any problems to you. What do you do?'"

Nancy emerged from Ned's bathroom, teeth freshly brushed, wearing one of his t-shirts. "Are you a union shop?"

Ned looked down. "Not in this chapter," he laughed.

"If I say give her a sabbatical, is that defeating the purpose?"

Ned tapped his pencil's eraser on the page. "I'm not sure. I just did my psychology homework so I'm tempted to try and analyze her problems."

Nancy laughed and sat down on his bed. "I'm trying to figure out what her motive is, what crime she might be trying to cover up."

Once he'd finished the next day's work, he switched off his desk lamp and sat behind her on the bed. He ran his hands over her shoulders. "I'll call Brook," he said. "She still has a spare bed."

Nancy's head tilted forward as Ned's hands stroked her shoulders. She didn't reply for a long time. "It's late," she murmured, chin on her chest. "Brook's probably asleep."

"I'm sure she won't pass up an opportunity to see you again."

Nancy bent at the waist and slumped forward. "Mmm," she said. "I don't want to wake her. It's all right."

"I really don't think you should be driving all the way back tonight," he said. His palm traced a wide circle over her back and he patted it, then he leaned back against his pillows.

Nancy sprawled on her back and stretched her arms, then propped her head up and looked at him. "What would you suggest?" she asked, smiling.

"You could sleep here. I'd sleep on the bean bag."

"I don't want to kick you out of your bed."

"You want to sleep on the bean bag?" He was smiling too.

"Not really."

"Nan, if we both sleep in the bed I'd be practically on top of you," he protested.

She met his eyes. "You don't want me falling asleep at the wheel, Nickerson," she said mildly, then stifled a yawn with her hand.

Ned pushed himself out of bed and prepared for sleep, while Nancy crawled up to the head of his bed. She pulled off her pants and tossed them onto the pile of her clothes, then bundled under his covers before he came back in. He switched off the light.

"What time do you have to get up in the morning?" he asked softly.

Nancy considered for a second. "Eight," she said.

"Good," he murmured as he set his alarm. "We could even go for a jog in the morning if you wanted."

"One thing at a time," she said, pulling back the covers for him.

He paused for a moment, looking down at her, then joined her in the bed. He pulled the covers up over his shoulders and met her gaze.

"I don't feel very tired," she whispered.

He reached up and traced his fingers over her cheek. "This, Nan, this is dangerous."

She smiled. "It's not," she murmured. She traced her fingertips over his lips. "I won't be with him anymore. What he did tonight, that was the last straw."

Ned's eyes closed briefly. "Okay," he murmured.

She sighed. "I want to be with you."

He raised an eyebrow. "But?"

"You're not a rebound. And I need some time to figure out what I want. To figure out if I'm ready to do this right now. I can't... I just needed to see you so badly tonight. But I can't keep doing this. We're so far apart, distance-wise..."

Ned nodded. "It'll be a year and a half before I'm graduated," he said. Then he smiled. "But I won't ask you to quit school in the meantime."

"Will it be enough if I tell you that you're the one?" she asked, searching his eyes. "You're the only one. But I can't devote the time to this right now, and it's unfair to you." She brushed at her cheeks, and he reached up to smooth a tear away. "If I hadn't been so stupid..."

"You weren't stupid," he said softly. "College is different. I know that. And you, Nancy, take a little while to adjust to change." He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

She put her arms around his neck and murmured into his chest, "Ned, I feel like I chose work over you."

He stroked her back. "It doesn't have to be that way," he whispered against her ear.

She pulled back and looked into his face. "How? My time is divided between schoolwork and the paper and occasionally sleeping. You and I both have so much going on. You have a game this Friday, don't you?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"And I'd love to be there. If I can get my story in on time." She reached up to her face again, but he brushed the tear away before she could. "My story, oh hell..."

"Calm down," he whispered, his finger over her lips. "A long time ago, if you'll remember, when my girlfriend was an internationally renowned amateur detective, we seemed to do pretty well. I'm not saying I saw you as often as I wanted, but I saw the look your face when you were on the trail of a suspect, when your mind was working. I love that girl just as much as the one who would spend the day hanging out with me. I didn't decide between the two. Nan, you come as a package. If I want you, I take the romantic with the curious, the breaking and entering with the weekends at the beach."

She laughed through her tears, her hand over his on her face. "That feels like so long ago," she admitted.

"It doesn't matter to me whether you are a detective or a star reporter or a district attorney, or a computer programmer, whatever you want to be. The deadline isn't tonight. Stop worrying about it. You've told me I'm number one." He grinned. "I'll be fine with that."

"But for how long?"

"Didn't I tell you to stop worrying?" he asked her, and leaned down.

His mouth met hers and she ran her fingers through his hair as she returned the kiss. The way he touched her, the way he kissed her, everything, it was all so familiar; she was eighteen again and in love. No one else could touch the way she felt when his skin, his mouth met hers. She had loved no one else, had never loved anyone else, not compared to this.

She breathed his name when he pulled away, then opened her eyes slowly. He looked a little scared. _This is dangerous._

"Please," she whispered, reaching up for him again. He searched her eyes, but when they kissed again there was nothing reluctant about it. His arms slid around her waist and she traced her fingertips over the back of his neck.

"Nan," he gasped when they parted, then turned his face away.

"It feels right, doesn't it," she whispered, her eyes still closed.

"I never said it didn't," he replied. Then he sighed. "When's your next school break?"

She opened her eyes. "Christmas," she said. "And we have no plans for it."

"Who's we?"

Nancy shrugged. "You and I. My family. I really would appreciate it if you could be there..."

He smiled. "I don't see any problem with that."

Nancy looked at him for a second quietly. "Mike's not happy with me, is he."

Ned shrugged. "He'll come around," he said.

Nancy snuggled against him. "We'd better get to sleep," she said. "Before you start wondering what I'm wearing."

"Oh?" Ned asked, ducking under the covers, and Nancy laughed.

\--

_What is that?_

She became aware of the sunlight first. She muffled a groan and buried her face in the pillow, felt Ned's arm tighten around her. Then she remembered where she was and was afraid to move, in case she was about to fall off the narrow bed onto the floor.

But the ringing—

"Is that your cell phone?" Ned murmured, his voice rough with sleep.

"Oh," Nancy gasped, and fell off the bed. Ned sat up, his hair tousled, the covers at his waist, as Nancy found her purse and dug her cell phone out of it, just as it stopped ringing. She cursed and checked the call log.

"Hello?"

"What are you doing calling me at this hour?" Nancy said crossly.

"Well, we do have class in forty-five minutes. Thought you might want to grab a danish or something," Bess replied.

Nancy dragged her hand through her hair and checked Ned's alarm clock. "I'm skipping," she murmured.

"Well, now that you're awake do you want to meet me anyway? I thought maybe we could talk."

Nancy chuckled. "I'm at Emerson right now."

Bess paused for a moment. "Oh," she said. "Ohhh. I heard from George that you and Jake had a little argument last night."

"Big. And yeah."

"You've been there all night, I take it."

"Yeah. And I'll tell you about it but right now I really want to go back to sleep."

"Okay." Bess chuckled. "Just call me when you're back on campus."

Nancy ended the call, dropped the phone back into her purse, and crawled back up onto the bed. She murmured happily as he took her back into his arms, and she snuggled beneath the covers and against his chest.

After a minute Ned said "Are you okay? You fell pretty hard."

"I'm fine," Nancy sighed.

Another minute passed. "I wonder who lives right underneath me. I think I'd better skip breakfast."

Nancy reached up and planted a closemouthed kiss on Ned's lips. "Please let me go back to sleep unless you're planning on taking advantage of the half-naked girl in your bed."

Ned ran a hand over her tousled hair and grinned. "Only if you're planning on doing most of the work. I feel like I can barely move right now."

Nancy raised an eyebrow. "Maybe later," she murmured playfully, then snuggled against him.

He leaned down and nudged her hair aside. "I like sleeping with you," he whispered.

"Don't push it," she said in a mock warning voice. But her shiver betrayed her.


	2. Chapter 2

"So did anything happen?" Bess arched an eyebrow as she dug into her caesar salad.

Nancy scribbled a few lines in her notebook, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then looked at Bess. "Not really," she said. But she was smiling.

"Did you drive all the way to Emerson because I was with Scott?" George asked.

"No," Nancy said, sighing. "_Casablanca_ was playing there."

Bess and George exchanged glances. "Yeah, I'm sure that's the only reason you went there," Bess said.

Nancy paused with her pencil still poised to take notes. "I didn't overreact, did I?"

"Depends on whether you slept with Ned last night," Bess said, crunching on a crouton.

"I slept with him, but I didn't _sleep_ with him." Nancy put her pencil down. "What difference would that have made?"

"Well, it would have looked like you were just going to Ned to get back at Jake," George said. "Actually it looks like that now but it would have been worse." George winced when Bess elbowed her in the ribs.

Nancy rubbed her forehead. "I told Ned I was with him now."

Bess swallowed a bite of salad. "What are you going to do if Jake apologizes to you?"

"Today?" Nancy asked.

Bess shrugged. "Today, tomorrow, next week... if he does."

Nancy turned her head to stare out the window. "He won't," she said. Then she caught the expression on Bess's face. "But if he does... the fact that he even considered having me give up the work I love, even for a little while..."

"So how are you going to be with Ned now if you're going to keep your job?" George asked softly.

Nancy's shoulders slumped. "I don't know," she admitted. "I told him that... I won't be with anyone else. But it is incredibly unfair of me to keep him waiting like this. I mean, we were together before, he said he's used to the way it was back then. And it'll be okay."

George took a sip of her soda. "You're twice as busy now," she pointed out. "Unless you have tons of free time I don't know about."

Bess glanced at George, then met Nancy's eyes. "As long as he understands that." Then Bess glanced at her watch and pushed back her chair. "I have to go to practice. Text me if you talk to Jake," she said.

Nancy smiled and gave her a wave. "All right," she said.

After Bess had vanished through the side door, George finished off her soda. "What are you working on?" she asked.

Nancy glanced down at her notes. Her eyes widened. "The story I have to turn in to Jake."

George smiled. "Good luck with that. I'm going to meet with Scott for a jog, if you want to come."

Nancy shook her head and waved George away. "Go ahead," she said. "I'm going to dread this and then go turn it in. Get it over with."

George reached over and patted Nancy's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be fine. Hope everything goes okay."

"Me too," Nancy said wryly.

\--

"You weren't in class this morning," Gina said.

Nancy had been nervously tapping her foot, waiting for Jake's office door to open. She'd considered emailing him her story, or even leaving a hard copy with the secretary, but then she'd just be avoiding him when she'd need to interact with him the next semester. So she'd decided to bite the bullet and see him, even if it meant suffering through the heavy ball of anxiety in her stomach.

She smiled briefly. "I had a late night," she admitted. "Would you be willing to slip a sister some notes?"

Gina smiled and fluffed out her hair. "I would say I'd love something in return, but from what I've heard, you're in the outs with the boss today."

"What did you hear?" Her face taut with worry, Nancy leaned toward Gina.

Gina shrugged. "That's all," she admitted. "Jake's been in a pissy mood all day anyway. Something with the faculty advisor."

Nancy fell into a chair and rubbed her hand over her face. "Great," she muttered.

Just then Jake's office door opened. He clapped a red-headed guy on the back, a fellow reporter Nancy had spoken to two or three times. Jake was smiling, and then his gaze found Nancy.

Steeling herself, Nancy brushed her black wool skirt over her knees, stood, and walked on clicking heels to the editor's office.

"That your story?" He nodded at the floppy disk in her hand.

Nancy nodded and offered it to him. He accepted it and placed it on his desk, then leaned against his doorway, not allowing her entry.

"I don't want this to be awkward," she began.

"What would be awkward about this?" She recognized the glint in his eyes and fought the urge to shudder.

"I think you made it clear last night that we need to choose between working here and being together," she said, keeping her voice calm with an effort. "I'm not willing to stop working here. Neither are you. So until you graduate I guess we're stuck here."

"You could get a job anywhere," Jake said, reaching up to brush a stray hair out of her face. "We don't need to have any problem here."

Nancy took a small step away from him. "I'm not going to change my mind."

"Fine," Jake said, his voice harsh. "Neither am I. But remember what I said. You can get a job anywhere."

"What are you trying to say?" Nancy said, her voice hard.

He shrugged. "I'm not _trying_ to say anything," he replied.

Nancy turned on her heel. "Email me if you have anything else," she said.

"Oh, I will."

\--

Nancy had just finished watching her favorite television show when she heard a knock at the door. She cast a guilty glance at her unfinished lab report and opened the door.

"Here's the notes," Gina said, handing Nancy a few photocopied pages. "If you have any questions, just give me a call."

"Thanks," Nancy said, putting the pages on her desk. She met Gina's eyes. "Did you hear anything else after I left?"

Gina looked down. "All I know is that Jake was talking to the faculty advisor again. I don't know what he said. I'm sorry."

Nancy leaned against her wall. "I have a bad feeling about this," she said.

"Yeah, but he's always been a player."

Nancy tilted her head. "What?"

Gina tossed her hair. "You weren't here, it was when I was a sophomore and I'd just started out doing the graphic design at the paper. Jake started dating one of the girls who was working part-time in the office, just filing paperwork and that kind of thing, not a full-fledged reporter. She might have been, if Jake hadn't gotten to her. Anyway, things went bad between them, and two days later she was forced out of the office. They were never that serious, but... you and Jake seemed to kind of be."

Nancy nodded. "We kind of were. Not engaged or anything. But he asked me if I'd quit so we could go out."

Gina nodded. "Jackie, right?"

"Well, he said she was raising trouble with the faculty advisor."

"Jackie hates Jake, but she hates the idea of leaving the paper more. I'm not sure what happened between them, I don't know if they ever dated, but she gets pissed when she sees this kind of thing happening."

Nancy touched her chin thoughtfully. "That's good to know. Thanks, Gina."

Once Gina had left, Nancy sat down at her computer. Bess still had an away message up on the instant messaging program they used, so Nancy texted her over the cell phone.

A few minutes later Bess called back. "I take it he didn't apologize," Bess said wryly.

"Not in the slightest. He made the same suggestion and then some veiled threat about my job."

Bess growled under her breath. "How nice of him."

"One of my sisters just came by and told me he's made a pattern of doing this. Breaking up with girls and then forcing them out. I guess she thought things between Jake and me weren't that serious, or she'd have told me earlier." Nancy flopped down on her bed and closed her eyes.

"That's just not right, Nancy."

"I know," Nancy said. "And he's been talking to the faculty advisor all day. I could quit right now and go back next semester when he's gone, and finish out my internship without jeopardizing my being in the program. Depending on how much damage he's doing right now."

"But then it's like he's won," Bess protested.

"Tell me about it," Nancy sighed.

"Isn't there any dirt you can dig up on him?"

"I'm not sure what good it would do," Nancy said. "It's not like I thought he was a complete jerk when I started going out with him..."

Bess chuckled. "Well, actually, you did. And you told me so, a lot."

"You're not supposed to remember that," Nancy said in mock accusation. "He's setting me up nicely, though. I can bow out right now, maybe they'll forget about everything, and he'll go on to that nice cushy job at the _Sun-Tribune_... and do this to another girl. Or ten."

"Don't you want to have his job eventually, though? The editing job at the paper? Wouldn't that be good?"

"I don't know. I'd really rather be out there working on stories, not sitting behind a desk waiting to read about it."

After a few minutes she and Bess said goodnight and hung up. Nancy sat down at her computer and looked at her lab notes, then at her web browser. She couldn't concentrate on the lab at all.

She went to the Emerson website and started researching their journalism program.

\--

"I could transfer," Nancy said quietly.

A look passed over George's face so quickly Nancy almost missed it. "Nan... are you sure you're not overreacting? I mean, are you sure that Jake's trying to get you fired?"

Nancy shrugged miserably. "No. I just know that seems to be his modus operandi."

"Maybe you should go try to talk to him again."

Nancy shook her head. "You didn't see the look on his face," she said darkly. "It's his way or no way. And he works fast. Unless I work faster..." She shook her head. "I didn't think he was malicious enough to completely destroy my work for my degree, but I don't think he sees it that way at all. All he sees is that I'm unwilling to do what he wants."

George shoved her hands in her pockets and shivered against the wind. She and Nancy were standing just outside the library. Then she smiled. "I guess I'm just hoping you can find a way to stay here," George said. "I understand you wanting to be at Emerson, to be closer to Ned..."

"That's not why I'd go," Nancy said.

George sighed. "Yes it is," she replied.

Nancy hung her head. "Yeah, we all applied and all got in, didn't we."

George nodded. "That was part of the deal. We all get in, we all go here. And hang out all the time, the three of us. I know it's not quite like that," she said, a wry look on her face, "but at least I know you're here. And Bess, between dates and drama practice."

Nancy reached out and hooked an arm around George's shoulders. "Okay," she said. "In the interests of the group, I'll go see what I can do."

George paused, her lips pursed as though she was about to speak.

"What is it?"

"Were you going to... mention this little idea to Ned?" George asked hesitantly.

Nancy smiled. "Don't want to get his hopes up," she said.

\--

"Nancy, what are you working on right now?"

Nancy paused at Jackie's desk. "Professor Sanders' retirement."

Jackie nodded. "Interviewed her yet?"

Nancy shook her head. "I'm going to go see her tomorrow morning and then get any follow-up I need on Monday. Why, did she call?"

"No. Do you have any other stories going on?"

Nancy picked the pile of papers off the chair next to Jackie's desk and sat down in it. "Why do you want to know?"

Jackie glanced around to make sure no one was looking. "Is there anything going on with you and Jake right now?"

Nancy folded her arms. "I broke things off with him."

Jackie nodded. "I thought so."

"What does that have to do with the stories I'm working on?"

Jackie propped her head on her hand. "I'm on your side here. Did Jake assign you that retirement story?"

Nancy reached down and started rolling the hem of her shirt in her fingers. "No. Jacob was assigned the story and he remembered that I got along with her. He doesn't. He had her for a class last year. So he switched with me."

"What story did you give him in return?"

Nancy scowled. "Some BS story about the ticket office and the new production company associated with the theater. Plus, he'll be seeing a lot of my friend Bess Marvin over there, and that'll make him happy."

Jackie nodded. "Okay."

"What's this about?"

Jackie shook her head, smiling. "Trust me when I tell you that I'll get back to you."

Nancy nodded slowly. "All right," she said, rising and putting Jackie's papers back on the chair, still looking at her curiously. "I need to go see Jake right now anyway."

Jackie was already clicking her mouse, looking for something on her computer. "Don't bother," she said, glancing in Nancy's direction. "He's at a conference."

"With who?" Nancy asked sharply, before she could stop herself.

"It's just the regional conference for college newspapers," Jackie said, one eyebrow arched. "Relax."

\--

"When does the game start?"

"Seven thirty," Ned told her. "Nan, I don't expect you to be there and I don't want you killing yourself to make it over here. There'll be other games."

"I know." She sighed and pulled her coat tighter around her. "But if you hear someone cheering extra loud for you from the bleachers, maybe it's me."

Ned laughed. "You sure you don't want to go undercover for the cheerleading squad and put on one of those uniforms? Then I'll be sure to see you cheering."

Nancy made a mock-injured noise. "That's the only way you'll notice me?"

"Of course not." His voice was rich and warm. She could almost imagine him next to her. What she wouldn't give to have his leather coat back. "Heard from Iris yet?"

"Yeah. She and Dad are back." Nancy chuckled. "Apparently she highly recommends the cruise line they took. I was amazed, when I was listening to her describe it. No furtive-looking stewards, no secret codes slipped under her door, no kids trying to sell their parents' government secrets..."

"Ahh yes, that's how the other half lives," Ned said, nostalgic. "I remember when my vacations used to be like that. All sunshine and swimming, or hiking, or skiing... no terrorists or angry criminals."

"You can't miss that," Nancy said softly.

"Sometimes I do," he admitted. "The other half of the time, I miss the lull between, where we used to spend our quality time."

Nancy smiled at the memory of that. "Yeah," she said. "That was nice."

"And you had to go to a university so far away from me," he said, sighing dramatically. "Very little lull time to be had."

Normally she would have become defensive. "I know," she said. "Um... I'm having some problems with Jake."

Ned was quiet for a moment. "Go on," he said, his voice under careful control.

"He might cause problems for me at work."

Ned exhaled. "What kind of problems?"

Nancy elaborated, ending with her explanation of how it might interfere with her progress on her degree. "That's what I'm worried about," she admitted. "I love the work, I want to do this the rest of my life, and he might stall my progress."

"Just give me five minutes with him," Ned said.

Nancy laughed. "Much as I'd appreciate it, I think it might do more harm than good."

"There has to be a way you can prevent him from doing this," Ned said.

Nancy sighed. "That's what everyone keeps saying. But if I can't..."

"Then what?"

The apprehension that had been humming just under Nancy's skin rose to her throat. "I could transfer to Emerson."

Ned grew quiet again. "Don't do this to me," he said.

"What do you mean?" she asked. She hadn't been expecting him to respond that way; she hadn't even planned to tell him, for fear that he could convince her to do it.

"Nancy, Wilder is known for its journalism school. I know Emerson has one, and I'm sure it's fine."

"Then..."

"You'd be coming here for me."

Nancy blinked a few times. "Everyone keeps saying that."

"It's true. You have no idea how much I'd love for you to be here. I love this place. I love this school. But I don't want you cheating yourself out of a degree that could get you farther."

"How much would you like me to be there with you?" she asked.

"Imagine how much you love the work you're doing," he said, then stopped abruptly.

"That much?"

"That much."

"And you're willing to wait."

He chuckled. "I know that it'll be a year and a half, or really two and a half, until I can see as much of you as I'd like."

"You could have seen as much of me as you'd like when I saw you last," she teased him.

"Ahh, there's another reason you shouldn't come here," he said.

Nancy sighed. "It would be nice though, wouldn't it."

"It would be great, Nan," Ned said gently. "I have to go right now. Call me later, okay?"

"All right," she murmured.

\--

"Judge Lifford called. I need to go talk to him tonight anyway," Carson said. He gave Nancy a kiss on the cheek. "Are you going to be here this weekend?"

"I can be," she said, looking at her father's face. He looked a little more tan, she decided. A little more rested. "Want me to be?"

"You can help us eat the leftovers," Carson laughed. "I don't think Hannah's cooked for one in a while."

Hannah rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. "I know perfectly well how to cook for one, thank you. And I'd be delighted to cook for one more," she said, winking at Nancy.

"Well, we can talk about it over breakfast," Nancy said. "I know I'll be here for that."

After Carson had left, Iris turned to Nancy. "So, where do you feel like going for dinner?"

"What are you in the mood for?" Nancy asked.

"A place where we can actually hear ourselves think," Iris said. "And linger over our meal."

"Well, there's a nice little place I know of in Emersonville," Nancy began. Hannah shot her a glance.

When Nancy had gone upstairs to change, Hannah knocked lightly at her door. "Emersonville?" she asked, one eyebrow arched, when Nancy opened the door.

"Come on in," Nancy said, gesturing her inside. "Yes, Emersonville."

"Is there something you haven't told me?" Hannah leaned against Nancy's door, her arms crossed.

Nancy blushed slightly and looked down. "Ned and I are... kinda back together."

"And when did this happen?"

"Just this past week," Nancy said apologetically. "Since the last time I saw you. If I'd had two seconds alone with you I'd have told you, I swear."

Hannah half-smiled. "So what about this Jake character you were telling me so much about?"

Nancy sighed and sat down on her bed. "Got about an hour?" she asked.

\--

"So you have no... concerns you'd like me to address."

Nancy stared down at her half-cleared plate for a minute. The previous week had been altogether too much. She would have no chance to talk to Jake before Monday. Ned's game was starting in twenty minutes. And her stepmother wanted to have a state of the union talk with her.

"Look," Nancy said, rubbing her fingers in circles over her temples. "You love my dad, my dad loves you. I'd really like to get to know you better, since I'm going to be spending a good part of the rest of my life, or at least the majority of holidays, in your company. But I've had one of the worst weeks in a long time. With work, with school..."

"We've got the rest of the night," Iris said, gesturing expansively. Her diamond bracelet glittered under the dim lighting. "I'd love to hear about it."

"Actually... have you ever been to Emerson?"

\--

"But we will have this talk, right?"

Nancy smiled as she led Iris through the sea of waving pennants and cheering fans. "We will. Thanks for coming."

"So... how is it you have standing tickets here?" Iris asked, one eyebrow arched as she ducked around a set of raised arms.

Nancy laughed. "Let's just say that the dean of students owes me."

After they found their seats, Nancy glanced at the scoreboard. They hadn't arrived in time to see the players enter the field, but she scanned the configuration of the Emerson team.

"There he is," she said, pointing at Ned. "Number twelve. He's the quarterback."

Iris peered in the direction of Nancy's finger, then glanced at her stepdaughter. "Can you get him to come closer? I think he's cute but from this distance..." She chuckled.

Nancy cheered louder than she ever had before. Ned glanced over in her direction a few times, but she wasn't sure he'd seen her until after the game, which they won. She and Iris hung around just outside the locker room, beside the throng of television cameras and microphones. They were discussing the final play, which Ned had singlehandedly taken to a winning touchdown, when Nancy felt an arm fall over her shoulders.

"Hey," Ned said, smelling of soap and cologne. He planted a kiss on her cheek. "You made it."

Nancy smiled. "Ned, this is Iris," she said, gesturing to the older woman.

Iris extended a hand. "I remember you from the wedding. You are a cute one," she said frankly.

Ned chuckled to himself. "Nice to see you too," he said as they shook.

"That was a fantastic play," Nancy said. "Congratulations."

Ned ducked his head. "It was nothing," he said. "Please don't tell the TV stations what I said, though."

"You were great out there."

She met his eyes and for a moment they couldn't break the gaze. Nancy's lips quirked in a half-smile and she looked away.

"Thanks," he replied softly.

"I take it this handsome young man has taken you to the restaurant we visited tonight," Iris commented.

Nancy smiled. "Yes, we've been there a few times."

Just then Howie Little, one of Ned's fraternity brothers, came up behind them. "Ned," he said, his deep voice resonating. "Victory party over at the frat house. Come on! Bring the little lady," he said, smiling down at Nancy. "Been a while since we've seen you."

Nancy smiled up at him. "Hey Howie." Then she looked at Iris.

"Go, go," Iris said, laughing, making a dismissing gesture. "I'm tired, I'll head back."

"Are you sure?" Nancy asked.

"As long as Ned is willing to give you a ride back home, that is." Iris raised an eyebrow and Ned nodded, smiling. "I'll see you in the morning, then," she said.

"That certainly sounded like permission to stay out all night," Ned said, leering comically, once Iris was out of earshot.

"Don't push it, Nickerson," Nancy said, laughing. "What's the quickest way back to Omega Chi from here?"

\--

They sat on the back window seat of someone's convertible. Nancy didn't catch the name of the driver. Ned kept his arm around her shoulder for the entire ride, still flushed with happiness from the game. Nancy gasped when she saw the crowd at Ned's fraternity. People were spilling out the front door, sprawled on the lawn. Bass music pounded into the night.

An enormous cheer went up when Ned and Nancy walked in the door. Ned raised his arms, grinning, and the sound grew even louder.

While Ned was hustled toward the keg, darting a concerned glance back over his shoulder at Nancy, some of the Omega Chi brothers Nancy knew from her previous cases came up to her.

"Glad you've come around," Parker said, raising his cup. He grinned at Nancy. "Want anything to drink?"

"Do you guys know where any water might be?" Nancy smiled. "My throat is sore from all that yelling."

Paul brought Nancy a plastic cup with a peach-colored liquid inside. "Don't worry, it's fruit juice," he said, in response to her wary look. "Virgin. As long as you take a drink with us later."

Nancy raised her glass in a toast. "All right," she laughed. "Is Mike around?"

"Hmm," Howie said, looking around. He towered over the crowd, even over Ned. "I think he's dancing with Jan."

Jan was the first to spot Nancy. She raised a hand in greeting. "Hey," she called over the music.

Nancy waved back, then called "Mind if I cut in?"

Jan shrugged, still smiling. "Go ahead."

Nancy caught the look that passed over Mike's face, but he offered her his arm anyway. She had danced with him before, and expected the weight behind his grip, as his cane wasn't in sight. "I'm sorry, Mike."

Mike half-shook his head. "Forget about it."

"No, I am. I don't know what got into me last year. And I know you must be angry at me for hurting Ned the way I did."

Mike met her gaze for the first time. "You did hurt him. He might never tell you how much, Nancy. Sure, you two dated other people occasionally. But you were the one he never stopped talking about."

Nancy flushed. "He didn't?"

Mike shrugged. "I can count on one hand the number of conversations we've had that he didn't bring your name up. And that does include last semester."

"He seems so laid back about it," Nancy said slowly. "About the way things are right now."

Mike glanced away. "Sure he does," he said conversationally. "Don't get me wrong. Ned's my best friend. And when you're in the room, he lights up in a way I've never seen with anyone else."

Just then Mike's expression changed, and Nancy felt a tap on her shoulder. Ned stood behind her, with Jan. Both of them had plastic tumblers in their hands. "So, I leave you alone for two minutes and look where I find you."

Mike returned his grin. "She wanted to talk to a real man, Nickerson. And you know me, gotta always have a girl around." He put his arm over Jan's shoulder, and Nancy felt his weight shift from her to his girlfriend.

"I can't compete," Ned complained, sighing dramatically. "You get all the girls."

"He'd better not." Jan was smiling too as she lightly smacked Mike on the arm.

The crowd separated the two couples, and Nancy gazed over Ned's shoulder at where they had been.

"Hey," Ned said, leaning down to touch the tip of his nose against hers. His eyes were glowing.

"So what have you told your brothers about what's going on with us?" she asked him suddenly.

Ned glanced over his shoulder in the direction of Nancy's gaze. "Do you mean Mike in particular, or everyone?" he asked mildly.

"Both," she said.

"Well, I have to say that I got ribbed pretty badly after you stayed over. I think Jack said girls don't come here to get thrown out of bed the next morning, or something like that."

"So they all know I spent the night here?"

"Mike does. Mike's cool about it."

Nancy smiled. "Not that I blame him, but I don't think he's quite forgiven me."

Ned shrugged. "I'll talk to him."

Nancy put a hand on Ned's shoulder. "Don't. I'll talk to him. I would have mentioned it while we were talking, but we didn't quite finish our conversation."

"Sorry about that. Didn't know you two were having a heart to heart." Ned smiled.

Nancy closed her eyes for a minute and thought about it. Thought about the case that had led to Mike's injury, when he'd become involved in a gambling scheme at the college. Ned had broken up with her over her suspicion of Mike's involvement, and even though she'd been validated by his complicity... the triangle of the three of them, the way Ned had chosen Mike over her before. Nancy hadn't trusted Ned's judgement, and that had hurt him just as much as his best friend's involvement in the scheme.

She felt Ned's lips on hers and her eyelashes fluttered. When he pulled back slightly she murmured, "What was that for?"

"That look on your face," he said. "I wanted to give you something nice to think about instead."

Nancy smiled slowly. "I think now they must know we're back together."

Ned kissed her again and she leaned into it. "Just to make sure," he teased. He took another sip from his cup. "So we are back together?" he asked her, his eyes bright.

"I'm thirsty," she said, and took his hand. "Let's go get me a drink."

\--

She had one drink. She wasn't quite sure how many he had, but she took his keys away around midnight. The party was still in full swing when Nancy jerked awake, Jan's hand on her shoulder.

"What?"

"It's okay," Jan said. "Maybe you want to go up and sleep in Ned's bed?"

Nancy smiled. "Did Mike tell you about that?"

Jan nodded. "Hey, when Ned's happy, Mike is happy. And I prefer happy Mike."

"Is Mike... happy that we're back together?"

Jan shrugged. "I think it would be more true to say he's cautious," she said in as low a voice as would carry. "Waiting to see what happens."

Nancy laughed. "I think we all are," she said. "Thanks, Jan."

Nancy pulled herself up off the couch and stumbled a few steps through the crowd until she was oriented again. She heard loud laughter from the kitchen area and headed that way, apologizing her way between dancing couples and drunk students.

"There you are," Ned said, raising his cup. "I was just about to come find you."

"I feel like I saw you five minutes ago," Nancy said, tossing her hair back.

"You did," he told her, smiling. "You pass out? I didn't think you'd had that much," he said, curving an arm around her waist.

"I'm just tired," she said. "I think we need to go. Because I don't think you're cool to drive and I really have to get back tonight."

He considered a moment, then nodded. "Let me say my goodbyes."

\--

His keys broke the silence in his parents' house, and Nancy closed her fingers around them while silencing him. "Shh," she said, "you don't want to wake them."

Ned laughed under his breath and pulled Nancy to him for a kiss. "Definitely don't want to wake them."

"I have to go to the bathroom," she whispered to him, and ran lightly up the stairs. She nearly froze as she heard the door to his parents' bedroom open.

"So how did the game go?" his mother asked, her voice slow with sleep.

Nancy closed the door very quietly behind her. When she opened the door again, Ned was sitting on his bed, a glass of water in his hands. His bedside lamp was on, but his bedroom was otherwise dark.

"Did your mom hear me?" Nancy whispered.

"I told her you just had to use the bathroom," Ned said, then took a sip of water.

"I'll call a cab," Nancy said, reaching for her cell phone.

"Don't," he said, looking up into her eyes.

"Ned, I don't think you're cool to drive," she said, stilling her hand. "I don't know how much you had to drink, but..."

"I'm not drunk," he told her quietly. He put the glass on his bedside table and stood up, drawing her into his arms. "Don't leave."

Nancy groaned, looking over her shoulder at the closed door. "They'll hear us."

Ned shook his head, nuzzling against her face. "Mom's in bed again, probably already asleep, and Dad could sleep through a bomb going off... Nan, they'll never know..."

"What about in the morning?" Nancy's eyes fluttered closed as Ned's mouth touched hers. She met his eyes and tried to concentrate when he pulled back. "There's... a reason..."

He kissed her again. "I'm sure there's a reason. And you can tell me what it is in the morning."

\--

She woke up in one of his Emerson t-shirts, which normally would have reached mid-thigh, but the hem was twisted up around her waist. As was one of his arms. The other was somewhere under the pillows. She blinked a few times, then stared at his tranquil face, which was nestled into the pillows.

"Ned," she whispered.

Just then his alarm went off. He shook himself awake, reached over and smacked it, muttering a curse. Then he murmured happily as he put his arms around her again and nestled into her.

"Ned," she whispered again. "That was your alarm..."

"And?" he mumbled into her shoulder.

"And if I don't get home before my dad realizes I'm gone he's going to kill us."

\--

Ned pulled his car to a stop a few houses away from Nancy's and looked at her.

"Wish me luck," she said, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Luck," he said, reaching for her face again. He kissed her solidly, then pulled away. "Call me later, maybe we can do something this weekend."

"All right," she said, nodding, her eyes still sparkling from his kiss. She climbed out of his car, carrying a grocery bag.

As she'd feared, when she reached the house, her father was sitting at the breakfast nook. She saw him through the back door, but knocked anyway, and Hannah allowed her entrance, a knowing look in her eyes.

"What's this?" Carson asked.

"I really wanted grapefruit juice," Nancy explained, "and I thought we were out so I went out for some. Want any, Dad?"

Carson shook his head. "No thanks," he said, looking back down at the slice of toast he was buttering. "I didn't think you liked grapefruit juice," he murmured.

Nancy shrugged. "Well, I wanted some today," she said, smiling.

Hannah, still with that look on her face, put a juice glass down on the bar and gestured to Nancy. "Go ahead, then. If my orange pineapple isn't good enough for you..."

Nancy met Hannah's eyes for a minute, trying to signal her promise to tell Hannah all that had happened if only she wouldn't blow it. But she had to back up her alibi, so she dutifully poured half a glassful and chugged it down.

Carson saw her face. "I think I was right."

Nancy swallowed. "I think you were too. Man, I didn't remember how much I hated this stuff." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "I'm gonna run upstairs and take a shower. If you could please save me a plate," she asked Hannah, still pleading with her eyes. She ran lightly up the stairs and changed into her bathrobe.

"Grapefruit juice is a lot easier than the old 'we fell asleep watching movies' gag, huh?" Hannah asked, closing Nancy's door behind her. "Though by the look on your face I bet you wish you'd tried that instead."

"Thanks for not saying anything," Nancy said, looking up from her bathroom sink.

"Far be it from me," Hannah said, crossing her arms. "So you slept over at his frat, again?"

Nancy shot her an apologetic look. "Not exactly..."

"At his parents'?"

Nancy nodded. "Yeah. For some reason, I can't really think that well very early in the morning..."

\--

"So...?" Nancy stabbed a leaf of lettuce and brought it to her mouth.

"I think I can help you," Jackie began.

Nancy met Jackie's eyes. "How?" she asked bluntly.

"Unless you quit the paper, Jake's going to force you out. To serve his ego. Because you had the balls to refuse him."

Nancy nodded. "I thought so."

"You're the third girl that I've known about that he's done this to. You're afraid that if you go to the faculty advisor that he's just going to dismiss you, don't you?"

"Yeah," Nancy said slowly. "I think he'll take Jake's side just because Jake has such a promising future. And that I'll end up having to switch my major for all the damage it will do."

"You're not the one who will be dismissed, Jake will be."

"How can you know that?" Ignoring her salad, Nancy leaned forward. "If this is true why haven't you gone to the advisor before?"

"Because you'll go with me," Jackie said, her dark eyes sparkling. "You'll tell him what Jake's been doing. Won't you?"

Nancy ran a hand through her hair. "I can," she admitted. "If I'm forced out of the program here, I can go to Emerson."

"You won't have to do that," Jackie said. "I can promise you that."

\--

"We have a meeting tomorrow," Nancy said, shifting the phone receiver to her other ear as she typed another sentence of her paper. "If Jackie's right, this will take care of everything once and for all."

"Don't you think it will piss Jake off?" Bess asked. "He seems to think he can do this to you with no consequences, and then you come and try to get him forced out instead?"

Nancy shrugged. "I can't say that I care right now," she said. "I almost dare him to try anything. I could have him smacked up for sexual harassment so fast..."

"Speaking of sexual harassment, or lack thereof," Bess smirked, "so what's this about you spending the night with Ned again?"

"Oh that," Nancy said dismissively, loading paper into her printer. "Nothing happened. Again."

"With his parents downstairs."

"George really does tell you everything," Nancy marveled. "Yes, with his parents downstairs. It was really late, I didn't really want to leave and he didn't really want me to... and it's not like my dad knows."

"Didn't Iris ask any questions?"

"Nope. Just told me to have fun at the party. And I did. I saw Parker there, by the way," Nancy said.

"How's he doing?" Bess asked. "He always was fun to hang out with."

"Maybe you should come up with me to Emerson next time I go and hang out with him again," Nancy said. "I really need to go up there."

"Sleep with Ned again?" Bess teased.

"Talk to Mike," Nancy corrected her. "I just want to let him know that I'm not trying to hurt Ned again."

"So you've decided to devote some time to this?" Bess asked. "Because otherwise..."

Nancy stopped. "Because otherwise what?"

"Otherwise you're just fooling yourself," Bess said gently. "Are the two of you getting your relationship back to where it was before?"

"I think so."

"Have you told him you love him yet?"

"I.. don't remember."

"That means no. Nancy, the way you were... obviously the relationship you two had before wasn't enough. What's to say this won't happen again?"

"Unless what, Bess?"

"There's no unless, but you do need to realize that you can't do this with even less time than you had before."

"How?" Nancy asked, frustration in her voice. "Add an extra two hours to the day? What?"

"I don't know, Nan," Bess said. "But don't you think Mike is going to ask you the same thing?"

\--

"Does Ned know you're here?" Mike asked as he closed the door to the study.

"No," Nancy admitted. The two of them heard Bess giggling with Parker in the other room. "He was in class when I tried to call him."

Mike took a seat on the couch and opened his arms. "What did you need?"

Nancy took a seat in a wing chair near the fireplace and smoothed the fabric of her pants over her legs. "We didn't get a chance to finish our conversation."

Mike's brow furrowed. "We could have done that over the phone."

"But that way Bess wouldn't have been able to come see Parker," Nancy explained, smiling. "And I wouldn't have a chance to see Ned."

Mike nodded. "All right."

"I know you must be really mad at me."

Mike shrugged. "Nancy... what I feel about you doesn't really matter."

"Yes it does," Nancy protested. "Has Ned talked to you about the two of us?"

He shrugged again. "Sure."

"He'll be able to see how you feel about me."

"Look. I want him to be happy. And..." He trailed off, looking toward the fireplace.

"Go ahead and tell me," Nancy prompted.

"You jerked him around a lot," Mike blurted out, his eyes flashing. "You hurt him a lot. And to be honest, I keep thinking in the back of my head that you're going to do it again."

Nancy looked down at her hands, which were folded in her lap. "I understand," she said.

Mike stood up and started pacing. "I don't think you do," he said. "He loves you so much."

"And I love him," Nancy said before she could stop herself. "Being apart from him... I've never been apart from him that long. Being with him again feels so right. I know I screwed up. I know that. I just want to know how I can convince you that this will never, ever happen again."

"The only thing that can do that is time," Mike said, his gaze hard on hers. "You can swear to me right now that you will love him forever, that you'll be with him forever, that you were an idiot. And as much as I don't want to believe that... prove it to me."

"How?"

"By staying with him for once!" Mike threw his hands in the air. "Prove me wrong. Prove to me that you have changed, that you have realized this is for good. Believe me, this time I would be overjoyed to be wrong. But don't screw this up again. You can't make nice with me. For him, for his sake, I will be nice to you. But can you honestly tell me that you're ready to devote any time or effort to this?"

Nancy looked down. "I love him," she whispered.

"When was that enough before? Enough to stop you from going off with any other guy you saw?"

"That's not true!" Nancy said vehemently. "It wasn't like that!"

"So you're willing to stay with him. Willing to spend all your free time here."

Nancy's fingers laced and unlaced. Her eyes grew damp with unshed tears.

Mike made a frustrated noise. "That's what I thought," he said. "And you have no idea how infuriating it is to watch your best friend be torn apart for the five thousandth time and not be able to do a thing about it."

"I'm not going to hurt him again."

"You never meant to before." Mike stopped pacing and stared at the wall. "I'm going to be there for him when you leave again. That I can promise you."

Nancy looked up and met Mike's eyes. A tear slid down her cheek. "This has been tearing me apart," she whispered. "The choices I've made. And nothing I do will be good enough to make up for it, will it."

"You say you love him," Mike said in a rough voice. Nancy nodded. "Do you want what's best for him? Do you want him to be happy?"

Nancy nodded again and drew in a long breath. "Yes."

"That's what I want too," Mike said gently. "Can you understand that? I want him to be happy. With you, without you, whatever. Can you blame me if that's the way I feel?"

"No," Nancy said, her voice shaking. She wiped a tear from her cheek.

"If you and I were in different places, if he were your best friend and you saw him with someone who was consistently breaking his heart, consistently making him incredibly happy and incredibly depressed, what would you do?"

"I'd try to convince him not to be with her."

"But that doesn't work," Mike said. "I told you. When he's with you, it's like there is no one else in the entire world. He's higher than when he's won a game. And he won't hear a bad word about you."

"He won't hear a bad word about you either," Nancy shot back, then clapped a hand over her mouth.

"What?"

Nancy shook her head. "No. I don't mean that. It's true, but I don't..."

Mike watched her quietly. "I've been his friend for a long time," he said.

Nancy nodded. "I know. And that's why I want us to get along." She smiled weakly. "His best friend and his girlfriend at each other's throats..."

"But we won't be," Mike said. "Not unless I see you repeating your same old stupid behavior again. After we've both agreed that what we want is what's best for him."

Nancy stood. "All right," she said.

Mike's gaze softened. "Look," he said. "Just... don't give me a reason to dislike you again, okay? I used to like it when we'd go out on double dates. We used to have some good times together."

Nancy smiled. "Yeah," she said.

Mike patted her arm. "All right," he said. "We done here?"

She nodded. "I think we are."

Mike pulled open the door and left the room while Nancy looked around for a tissue box. She found one and blew her nose, then wiped her cheeks. With the tissue still clenched in her fist she stared at the fireplace.

Maybe she was being too self-centered. Just because being with him made her feel good... he was willing to give her everything, he wanted to be with her, and she wasn't willing to give up work...

_this isn't work, this is what I want to do the rest of my life_

She swiped at her face again with the tissue.

"Hey, has your best friend died or something?"

Nancy gasped and spun around at the sound of Ned's voice. "What, you mean you didn't see Bess when you came in?"

Ned let the door swing shut behind him and sat down on the couch. He patted the cushion next to him, looking up at her. "No, can't say I did. She's here?"

Nancy nodded, but she didn't take the seat. "Um... did Mike tell you anything?"

Ned shook his head. "He didn't have to," he said. "I was right outside."

"What did you hear?" Nancy asked.

Ned rubbed his forehead, then shifted his backpack to the floor. "Enough to know that there are two people in this world who care a lot about me," he said. "Enough to hear you say that you love me."

Nancy gave him a shaky smile. "Yeah," she said.

"What, are you having second thoughts?" he said, smiling up at her. She was close enough to him that he could reach out and touch her, and he pulled her down to the couch. "Hey," he said. "You all right?"

Nancy fought the urge to put her head against his shoulder and just forget about everything Mike had just said. "He was right," Nancy said.

Ned put an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close to him. "Nan," he murmured, "you were right too."

She put a hand over her face and he reached over, pulled it away. "Look at me," he murmured. "Did I tell you that you had to change to be with me again?"

"No," she admitted, her voice shaking. "But I can't be a good girlfriend to you the way I am."

"Let me be the judge of that," he said. He kissed her gently. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"That Mike's right. That even if right now I feel like there's no way I could ever hurt you again, and believe me that's how I feel right now, that... I don't know," she said miserably, staring down at her hands. "Maybe for your sake I should just..."

"Shut up," he whispered, kissing her again.

Nancy broke off with a cry, then stood. "There's only so many times... Ned, what if I am no good for you?"

Ned stood and turned her to face him. "I've never seen you second-guess yourself this much," he said.

Nancy gave him a weak smile. "I've been thinking about the future a lot," she said. "A lot of the choices I make are going to have consequences. About Wilder, about Jake... about you. Everything could have been casual before, everything _was_ casual before, but... I love you too much to do this," she said, another tear streaking down her face.

"You love me too much to... be with me?" he asked, his face motionless.

She cursed aloud. "It's not about Mike," she said. "Or maybe it is. He cares about you so much, Ned. The last thing he wants is to see you hurt."

"It will hurt me if you do this," he said carefully.

Nancy collapsed then. She threw herself on the couch and started sobbing, bent double, her hands over her face. All she could feel was the miserable lump in her stomach, the turmoil in her head. She hadn't expected this at all when she'd planned the trip here. Hadn't expected to be sitting on a couch in his frat, considering breaking up with the guy she loved more than anyone else.

"Ned," she whispered, then choked up.

"Don't do this," Ned said, and for the first time since she'd seen him again, she could hear a hint of desperation in his voice. "Nancy... don't you see that this is making you so upset, because it shouldn't happen? Because it's not right for us to be apart?"

Nancy wiped her eyes with the useless tissue again. "I won't hurt you again."

"Then don't," he said harshly. "Don't hurt me right now. Nan... I know that something might go wrong. I know that. I've accepted it. But... can you please, for me, just wait? Wait until Christmas, and think about this again. Until after the break."

Nancy looked at him. "How will that help?"

"How will it hurt?" he countered. "I'll talk to Mike—"

"Don't," she whispered. "I mean, unless you want to talk to him about something other than what you overheard."

"He was right about a few things," Ned whispered, tilting her chin up. "I do love you. And being with you does make me happier than almost anything else."

"Almost anything?" she chuckled, then ducked her head.

He made her eyes meet his again. "You're upset right now because you don't want to hurt me," Ned said. "Is that true?"

"Yeah," she murmured. "And a week from now—"

"Or a month from now or a year from now or never, Nancy, you can't predict it," he said softly. "Don't do this, don't get afraid and run away for something that hasn't even happened yet."

"I can't give you what you deserve," she said miserably.

"You're what I want," he said, leaning down to kiss her again. She fought back a little at first, but as he tilted his head Nancy felt herself melt into it, ignore the voice that was a steady stream of protests and worries, and it faded. Her head was spinning when he pulled away.

"That didn't hurt at all," he said, smiling. He cupped her face in both hands. "Say it with me," he said, searching her eyes. "'I'll wait until Christmas.'"

"I'll wait until Christmas," she repeated. "Why Christmas?"

"That wasn't part of it," he chastised her mildly, smiling. "I tell you not to worry, and you keep worrying..."

Nancy frowned. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Just trust me," he begged. "Trust that I know what I'm doing and I can think for myself. I'm a big boy. I know there are consequences."

"Until Christmas," she echoed. Then she smiled. "Maybe you think something will change between now and then."

Ned shrugged. "Just try to trust me," he said, brushing a strand of her hair back. "That's all I ask."

"Seems simple enough," she murmured. "How about if I trust you to kiss me again?"

\--

"So you two were in there a long time," Bess whispered to Nancy in the backseat of Ned's car.

"Like you'd know, Ned told me you weren't in the lounge when he came in," Nancy retorted, smiling.

Bess searched Nancy's reddened eyes, concern on her face. "So what happened?"

She shook her head. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

Parker turned around from the front passenger seat. "I'm glad you could convince him to come, Nan," he said. "We've been trying to get Ned to go to this club for like a month now."

Nancy smiled. "Oh really?"

"I just didn't want to go without my girl," Ned said, smiling at Nancy in the rearview. He negotiated a turn onto the highway. "Now which turn is it?"

When they arrived, Nancy spotted a group of Ned's frat brothers at the same time he did. They were with a group of girls Nancy didn't recognize at first sight, but this was a group she didn't know particularly well, so maybe they were girlfriends.

Bess grabbed Nancy's arm. "I'm starving," she said. "Let's go to the bar and get some fries or something."

Nancy glanced over her shoulder at Ned. "You two gonna be okay without us?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Don't make us wait too long," Ned replied, laughing. "We'll be over there." He pointed at the group they had spotted.

Bess had already ordered a soda. "So dish," she demanded.

"Mike's worried about what I'm going to do to Ned," Nancy admitted. "Like you said. He thinks I'm not committed to this and I'm just going to hurt Ned again."

"And that's all the two of you talked about?" Bess grabbed a handful of cocktail nuts from the bartop and tossed them in her mouth.

"Ned wants me to wait until Christmas to start worrying about it again."

"Why Christmas?" Bess asked.

Nancy shook her head. "I don't know. But I've agreed. Maybe after Christmas I can..."

Bess watched Nancy's face carefully. "You can do what, Nan?"

Nancy shook her head. "This is impossible," she whispered.

"It's not," Bess replied. "Relax. Go with it. We're at a great club," she said, gesturing at the dancing couples and the flashing lights on the ceiling. "Not doing homework. Let's just go with it."

Nancy snatched a fry off the fresh basket the waitress delivered to them. "It's a deal. Let's find the boys."

\--

"I would have worn something else," Nancy said, laughing as she gestured disparagingly at her olive drab cargo pants and long-sleeved henley.

"Hey, no one cares," Ned said, slipping his arms around her. "I'm just trying to figure out a way you can sleep over tonight," he whispered into her ear, his eyes sparkling.

"I really can't," she said. "I shouldn't even be here. I have so much homework to do..."

Ned grinned. "Then let's make the most of it," he suggested, swaying with her to the beat. "Bess sure is."

Nancy glanced over. Bess and Parker were closer to the group of Omega Chi brothers, and she was flirting for all she was worth, her face flushed and happy.

"You're right," Nancy said, sweeping her hair back and moving her hips. "I'll just be happy I'm not doing any homework right now."

Ned leaned closer, moving his hand in a hypnotist's motion. "You will not do any homework," he said in a lulling monotone. "You will stay with Ned tonight..."

Nancy laughed and grabbed his hand, then placed it on her hip. "Take what you can get, Nickerson. That's not it."

Just then Ned's face went slack, and he stopped dancing. "That's Cassie," he said, looking at something over her shoulder.

"What?" Nancy turned around in his arms and saw the group separating around a girl with long, dark hair, holding a denim jacket closed over her shoulders. She was trembling, her gaze darting around the room like she was being pursued.

"Cassie," Ned repeated. "She was in my English class last semester."

Nancy and Ned walked over to the group, which had formed a protective circle around the frightened girl. "What's wrong?" Nancy heard Parker ask her.

Cassie looked around at the other girls in the group, her lower lip shaking. For a moment Nancy was afraid she would faint.

"He... raped me," Cassie said, in a voice barely audible.

"Where is he?" Ned demanded.

Cassie pointed behind her at an alcove, and four of the guys, including Ned, headed that way at a run. Nancy put an arm over the girl.

"It's okay, come sit down," Nancy said, her voice comforting. "I'm going to call the police, okay?"

Cassie's expression was partially blank, and she swept a hand over her bangs. "Okay," she whispered. "He... not again."

Bess caught Nancy's gaze. "Again?" she repeated.

Cassie still hadn't explained her remark when the cops showed up.

\--

"Is she all right?" Nancy asked.

"I think Doug said she took the rest of the week off," Ned said. "He's her boyfriend."

"Have they eliminated him as a suspect?" Nancy asked. She switched the receiver to her other ear.

"He wasn't there," Ned answered her. "He was in a physics lab, twenty other students can vouch for his having been there. And before you ask, no, no one knows what she meant by 'again.' I never heard of her being raped before, I'd remember that."

"Why is that?"

"She and Doug have been dating since they enrolled here. He never stops talking about her."

"Have they ever had problems?"

"Not that I can remember. But Parker hangs out with Doug more than I do. I should ask him."

"Maybe I should come ask him," Nancy said, making her voice husky, then laughing.

"Hey, any excuse to see you..." Ned's voice was rich with humor.

"So Cassie and Doug were steady. Why was she at the club?" Nancy asked.

"Good point," Ned said. "It's not like she didn't know he was in lab."

"And you guys didn't see anyone when you ran back there."

"The place was packed. All a guy would have to do is saunter out of that back room like he owned the place and we'd never have seen him, Nan."

"Hmm," she said. "Maybe I should contact Lieutenant Easterling in Emersonville..."

\--

"So did Jake make unwanted sexual advances toward you?" Professor Jackson looked at Nancy, then over at Jackie. "Either of you?"

The girls exchanged glances. "They weren't unwanted at first," Nancy confessed. "I liked him. It was only after, when he asked me to consider quitting and then I broke up with him, that he started threatening me with firing."

"Miss Kipler? Was it the same for you?"

Jackie shook her hair out of her face. "No. For me, the advances were always unwanted. It wasn't until a new editor was appointed that anything I did even got to your notice, Professor."

"Miss Kipler, it's come to my attention that you were considering filing a report against Mr. Weber for showing favoritism. Toward Miss Drew?" The professor looked over wire rims at the two girls. "Did something change?"

Jackie nodded. "Miss Drew isn't with Mr. Weber anymore. She found his conduct just as reprehensible as I did. I don't have any other issue with her."

"What do you expect me to do? What do you think is a fit punishment for an excellent editor who has a guaranteed job once he graduates and a slight problem keeping his perspective when it comes to the girls on staff?"

"Keeping his perspective?" Jackie burst out, echoing Nancy's own outrage. "He uses the girls on staff like his own personal harem, and forces out the ones who don't do what he asks!"

"Are there any other girls willing to come forward?"

Jackie made a frustrated noise. "Give me a week. I'll bring you enough people..."

Nancy put a hand on Jackie's arm. "Has he already come to you?" she asked the professor.

"He has come to me," the professor admitted. "And I've seen the way he is at the paper. I can't say I'm surprised that there are a lot of girls linked to him."

"Does that make it okay?"

"For him to be a jerk? No. For him to have reprehensible personal conduct? No. But is it a reason to fire him?" The professor rubbed fingers across a furrowed forehead. "I need to look into these allegations. They are rather serious. He should have to put up with reminders of his past affairs, just like his fellow players."

"Could you believe that?" Jackie asked once they'd left the office.

Nancy shook her head. "He is a guy. It's not like this is unheard of."

Jackie shook her head in disgust. "If I could find every girl he did this to..."

"I know," Nancy agreed. "Maybe we should start tracking them down. Two can be ignored, maybe if we find them all we can shout loudly enough to get something done..."

\--

"So what did he say?"

Nancy reached up and stroked her fingertips down Ned's cheek. "According to Easterling, Cassie described a dark-haired guy, medium build. That was all she knew. After that she clammed up. Any number of people left or entered the club before the cops showed up; it's not like we could keep people inside."

The laugh track on the television sounded from the corner. Ned didn't even glance at it; his eyes stayed steadily on her face in the blue light from the television. They were bundled under Ned's covers, in the bed in his frat room. She was wearing one of Ned's t-shirts again, her body tight against his as they shivered together.

"That's not much to go on," Ned said. "No distinguishing marks or features?"

Nancy shrugged. "It was dark," she said. "More than that, she never mentioned a previous rape. There is no previous rape on file; I had Easterling check. Did Parker find anything out?"

Ned shook his head. "Nothing more than to confirm what you just told me. According to Parker, Doug and Cassie were having a few problems about three months ago, but they worked everything out fine."

"You take Doug. I'll take Cassie."

Ned smiled. "Makes sense." He reached under the covers and pulled her close against him, then buried his face in her hair. "Maybe I should get another comforter..."

"That would be great," Nancy said, her teeth chattering.

Ned shivered as he climbed out of bed, groped in the top of his closet and found a blue electric blanket. With the blanket still in his arms he leaned over and adjusted the thermostat. Nancy laughed as he tossed the cover over her and then climbed in beneath.

"Mmm," he said, sliding back into the warmth he'd left behind and the heat radiating from her body. "I love you too," he whispered to her, his nose just above the comforter.

"Too?" she asked, eyes sparkling. "Did we skip a line?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "Thanks for staying with me tonight."

"If your college would just stop showing such great movies..." she laughed, then searched his eyes. "I'm not going to worry anymore," she said quietly. "Even after Christmas. Because you're right. I can't live my life terrified that I'll make a mistake."

He cupped a hand around her face and kissed her for a long moment. "Thank you," he said gently.

"I love you so much," she breathed.

"Hey," he whispered. Her eyes were wet. "I love you too. So, so very much." He slid his thumbs over her cheeks, over the moisture. He leaned down and kissed her again.

Nancy's eyes fluttered open. "Okay," she whispered, then smiled at him. "Don't move around too much after we go to sleep, or we'll have to think of some other way to generate some heat."

Ned made a protesting noise as Nancy turned over, away from him, smiling. "Hey," he said. "No fair..."

\--

"So what do you want to do for Christmas?" Iris asked.

Nancy turned her head so fast her hair flew. She was sitting on the living room couch, her legs tucked under her, as she worked on a project for one of her classes. "I thought maybe we could stay around here."

Iris shrugged. She turned the page of the magazine on her lap with perfectly manicured fingers. "Maybe we could start a new tradition. Down in Florida?"

Nancy smiled. "No thanks. I like the snow."

Iris met Nancy's eyes frankly. "You don't remember any Christmases with your mother in this house."

Nancy shook her head. "No. I only have one clear memory of my mother, and it's... well, nothing about a major holiday, or this house in particular."

"All right," Iris said. "But you want to stick around here. Maybe your young man...?" Iris's eyes were sparkling.

Nancy ducked her head. "Well, it is a good time to see him. We'll both be on break, and around here, which is rare enough in itself."

Iris's attention was caught by something in the magazine, so she said in a distracted voice, "Maybe if the two of you are thinking about settling down soon, your dad was talking about the Carmichael house just behind here being up for sale."

Nancy smiled and made a few more marks on her paper. "Hannah's always loved that garden," she said.

\--

Cassie took a seat in one of the swings and Nancy sat down next to her. When Nancy had asked if they could talk, Cassie had suggested the Emersonville Elementary School playground.

Nancy turned to Cassie and just watched her quietly for a moment. Cassie's fingers, barely visible over her frayed black cuffs, were wrapped around the cold metal chains of the swing. Her black thick-soled boots were flat and motionless on the ground.

"Thanks for talking to me," Nancy said.

Cassie shrugged. "Doug thinks you can help," she said.

"Do you think I can?"

Cassie shook her head. "No," she said, barely loud enough for Nancy to hear. "You can't help me. You might want to, but you can't."

"Why can't I help you? I know I'm not the police, but—"

"The police can't help me either." Cassie wrapped her arms around the chains and joined them in her lap. "No one on this earth can help me. Nothing against you personally," she said, meeting Nancy's eyes for the first time during the interview.

"Well, I don't think they can help you unless they have a better description of who did this," Nancy said carefully.

Cassie sighed. "It was dark. I can't give a better description."

Nancy kicked the ground so that she skidded backward a few feet. "You don't want me to help you."

Cassie looked away. "I'm going to tell you something," she said. "Something that you can't repeat to Doug, or Ned. Or the cops. Or anyone else. All right?"

Nancy was motionless now. "All right."

Cassie took a deep breath. "When I was younger I ran with a bad crowd. I did some things I'm not proud of, and I got busted. I have a juvenile record that was sealed. I came to Emerson to start over. Doug only knows who I am, who I've been since then. He hasn't pressed me for details and I haven't told him that much.

"I want you to trust me when I say that everyone needs to drop this. I'm not pressing charges against anyone. But those people are still around, and none of them have tried to change in the same way I did. I'm trying to get away from this, from what I did, from who I was, and this... is just going to drag it all out again."

Nancy nodded. "I understand."

"So will you promise me that you'll stop looking?" Cassie met Nancy's eyes.

"Can you promise me that you're not just letting this guy find someone else to hurt?" Nancy's blood was rushing in her ears. "Even if you just want to let this guy get off with what he did to you, even if you want nothing more than to put this behind you, don't you think the next person he would have raped will thank you if you come forward and put him behind bars now?"

Cassie looked away. "That won't happen," she said, but she looked uncomfortable.

"How can you know that, unless you know who he is? I know it's not Doug, is it one of your friends? Is he threatening you? Cassie—"

"It won't happen again," Cassie said. "It won't. It won't. I can't help you."

Nancy watched as Cassie walked away without glancing back.

\--

"She's not going to help me," Nancy reported to Ned a little while later, in her Mustang on the way back to school. She sighed into her cell phone. "So I need you to do the legwork for me. See if there's anyone who seems like a good suspect. Maybe a former boyfriend hanging around, something like that. Some guy in her classes who just sets your teeth on edge."

"How can she not want this guy to be found?" Ned wondered aloud.

"Well, she has her own issues," Nancy admitted.

"Do you think she knows who did this?"

Nancy paused. "I can't tell you for sure," she said. "But I think she at least suspects who he is. Not that she'll admit that to me, or give me any leads to anyone. I would say anyone she's casually dated, that maybe it was date rape, but like you said—"

"She's always been with Doug," Ned finished her sentence. "And it wasn't Doug."

Nancy was inclined to agree. Despite her attempt to cast Doug as the villain, he just didn't fit the bill. He was a player on Emerson's football team, a big guy who wouldn't hurt a fly, unless that fly happened to be under a player on another team. She couldn't see him sneaking out of his lab to do this to Cassie, especially in so public a place, or see him hiring or otherwise coercing someone into doing it for him.

"Does the club have a list of the people who come in?" she asked.

"They do, but I've been back and seen their security. It's nonexistent. Plan it right and you could sneak twenty people in without anyone noticing. All they care about is getting a cover charge."

Nancy sighed. "Well, maybe we could get the list anyway. Just in case we get lucky."

Ned chuckled. "All right. I have to head to practice. I'll call you later, all right?"

"Okay. Love ya."

"Love you too."

\--

Bess squinted at her cell phone's caller ID before she answered the ring. "Hello?"

"I really hope George was at the track when I called."

Bess chuckled. "Probably so. What's up, Ned?"

"Just calling to see if you guys want to take a long weekend at the vacation house, over Christmas break."

"So are you finally admitting your love for me?" Bess asked, giggling.

"Well, I've secretly been in love with George for a long time, and hearing her on the phone today just confirmed it..."

"All right, Nickerson. Stop making me jealous."

"You asked," he said, a hint of a laugh in his voice.

"Um... I'm going to see my relatives the day before and the day of. Are we talking..." She flipped through her calendar. "The weekend after? I'm pretty sure I could swing that. George and I shouldn't be tied up again until New Year's."

"Sounds great to me. That's what I was planning on."

"So is this going to be a Ned's harem weekend, or are we allowed to invite other guys? I mean, not to make you jealous or anything, but since I'm sure Nancy's coming...?"

"Yup."

"Then the rest of us will have to find some way to entertain ourselves. I'm in high demand, you know."

"Don't I. Yeah, that's fine. Parker might be available, if you want me to ask him..."

"Well, there's this one guy in my drama class..."

"It's okay, it was just a suggestion."

"If things don't work out with the guy, then I'd love to see Parker there."

"It's a date, then." Ned chuckled. "And if you end up not bringing a guy it's okay. I'd just like to have you there."

"You intrigue me, Ned. But I'll leave the detective work to Nancy."

"It's... kind of going to be a surprise," he said. "I haven't mentioned it to her yet, but I will soon. So can you just keep it quiet until I get back to you?"

"Sure," Bess said slowly, one eyebrow raised. "You buy me a bag of Hershey's hugs on the way there and we're even."

"Deal," he said.

\--

"...All right. Thursday afternoon at four. That's fine. Thank you so much for agreeing to... I'm glad. Okay, see you then." Nancy hung up the phone and made a few notations on her pad before looking up to meet Jackie's gaze.

"I just found another one," Jackie said angrily. "Professor Jackson has been faculty advisor for the paper for the past eight years. In that time, I don't even know how many girls have gone to complain. Traditionally Jake's frat brothers have held the editor position at the paper. I know, I know," Jackie said in answer to Nancy's furrowed brow. "Only traditionally. Anyway. Another guy from Jake's frat had the position before him. There were complaints filed against him, too. Complaints that were forwarded to the Dean's office. But he wasn't fired either."

Nancy's eyes were glowing. "So it's not just Jake. This is an epidemic."

"It is," Jackie agreed. "We have an established pattern that when sexual harassment happens at this paper, it is ignored or shoved aside. Most of the girls involved don't seem to have worked together, so it's not like they talked to each other about it. The consensus seems to be that boys will be boys."

"We need copies of the memos," Nancy said. "We need proof. And someone willing to help us print this."

Jackie checked her watch. "I'm about to be late for a seminar," she said. "I'll call you later?"

"That's fine," Nancy said, her wave distracted as she started thinking about who she could contact. Then her cell phone rang.

"Hi," she answered, chewing on the end of her pen.

"Hey," Ned replied. "Busy?"

"Kinda," she admitted. "How are you doing?"

"Just wondering if I could take you out tonight, since I have some free time."

Nancy stopped chewing on her pen and a slow smile spread across her face. "I'd love that," she said. "And what I'd like even better is for you to help me out with something..."

\--

"Not that I don't like black on you, but maybe another color would be nice occasionally. Blue, green, purple..." Ned joked.

He and Nancy were walking through the campus woods on their way to the associate dean's office. Jackie had figured out that was where most of the complaints had fallen into the black hole.

"Well, there are two schools of thought on disguise," Nancy said conversationally. "Either I could wear something noticeable, something no one would miss, like this turtleneck paired with a bright red tartan kilt, or..."

"Subtle, like we're doing," Ned sighed. He looped his arm through hers.

"It shouldn't take too long," she told him once they reached the front door. "Text my cell phone if you see anyone, I'll hear that."

"Be careful." He leaned down and kissed her lightly before she unlocked the door and ran upstairs.

An hour later Nancy opened the door of her room to find Ned sitting on her bed, flipping through the cable channels. "Any luck?" he asked.

"Well, she can do it tomorrow. Which is fine." Nancy ran a hand through her hair. "I was kind of hoping that he'd be keeping some sort of incriminating evidence, but why wouldn't he have shredded it?"

"So what can your sister do for you?" he asked. "Does she know some other people who might know?"

"No, but she can help me look in the files, the ones that might actually have some sort of disciplinary action listed in them. Just in case." Nancy sighed and sat down next to Ned. "Sorry. At least we did get dinner."

"Not all bad." He reached up and smoothed a palm over her back. "I'm not stopping you from getting any work done, am I?"

Nancy smiled at him apologetically. "Give me half an hour and I'll be done with my work and we can do whatever you want. Go hang out at the student center, maybe catch a late movie..."

Ned shrugged. "It's up to you. There is a movie I'd kind of like to see."

"Do you have early classes tomorrow?" She was smiling as she gave him a sidelong glance.

"Nope." He looked around, an expression of exaggerated innocence on his face. "No early classes."

"I'll have to see what I can do," she said.

Ned leaned back against her pillows as she took a seat at her desk. "Listen," he began, "my parents have said I can go out to the vacation house if I want to do that. I was thinking maybe we could, for a long weekend?"

"Before or after Christmas? I don't think I can go the day of, since... family..." she waved her hands vaguely. "You know. Weirdness."

"The weekend after."

Nancy smiled. "I think that would work. You know, last time I was home, Iris was talking about the Carmichael place being up for sale, if you and I wanted to move in." She chuckled.

"You mean that big old house behind your dad's place?"

"Yeah. With the enormous garden Hannah's been watching all these years. She's decided to move into it."

"Hannah is going to move?" Ned's eyes were round. "Somehow I never thought that would happen."

"Yeah, but I never really thought Dad would get remarried, either." Nancy shrugged. "I was just amused at the thought of Iris planning our future for us. Us living in a big old house behind my parents." She laughed.

"And now Hannah will be there. What's she going to do with all that extra space?"

Nancy shrugged. "She has a plan for it. I'm supposed to help her move this weekend."

"Hey, I'll help," Ned said. He flexed his arms. "Not that I want her to move. She made the best blueberry pancakes."

"Even better than mine?" Nancy teased, raising an eyebrow.

"Not better than yours. Exactly the same as yours. She taught you, didn't she?"

"Yeah." Nancy crossed her arms over her chest. "And she'll still be there, just over that wooden fence in the yard. Maybe she'll put a door in it so I can see her when I'm home on the weekends."

\--

Bess shook her head and sipped the remainder of her milkshake through the straw. "Hmm. Lots of extra space? Maybe she could make it a bed and breakfast. I'd definitely go for the breakfast part." Bess smiled.

"I think there's something about zoning regulations and things like that." Nancy swirled her spoon in her teacup. "But she's said I'll always have a place to sleep there, if I need it."

"That's nice of her." Bess pushed her empty cup away. "But your dad's house is right there."

"I think Iris wants to travel," Nancy said. "Not move away from River Heights, but even if they don't sell the house, there might be some weekends I'm there and no one else is. And it would be nice to hang out over at Hannah's, watch some movies with her..."

"Especially if she'll let friends stay over." Ned smiled.

"Speaking of..." Bess smothered a yawn with the back of her hand. "I gotta go. I haven't even started on my math homework yet. I really think I'd better switch to audit, if I possibly can."

"Isn't it getting any better?" Nancy asked.

"No. I hate it. Maybe I can take it again once all the drama practice stuff calms down, you know?"

Ned smiled. "Good luck with that. I'm glad all my math is over with."

"Thanks, Ned. Oh." Bess turned to Nancy. "Let's have lunch tomorrow, and you can catch me up on how the fire Jake initiative is going." She smiled apologetically at Ned. "You two have a good night."

Ned was under Nancy's covers half an hour later, watching the screen as she washed her face before coming to bed. She opened her bathroom door and emerged, and he glanced over at her when she didn't move toward him.

She was wearing a seafoam green silk camisole edged in antique lace and matching shorts. Her hair was loose and slightly curled, and she blushed when his eyes wandered up to her face.

"That's nice," he said in a low voice. Nancy blushed. "How about you bring that with you when we go to the house over break?"

Nancy laughed and climbed into bed with him. "You mean we're not going to sleep segregated?"

"Nah," Ned said, putting his arms around her and drawing her close. "Do you mean to tell me that this is what you normally wear to bed when you're not in one of my t-shirts?"

"I'd usually be in flannel right now," she admitted, brushing her hair back. "I just wanted to do something special for you. It's not very often that I have guys in my room."

Ned leaned down as he drew the strap of her top down and kissed her newly bare shoulder lightly, then pressed his mouth against her ear. "Did any of them see you in this?" he breathed.

Nancy shivered slightly. "No," she whispered, her eyes closed.

He kissed her other shoulder. "Did you go further with them than you did with me?"

Nancy reached up to slide her arms around his neck. "No," she whispered.

"The same?"

She waited until she could see his eyes, until they were both motionless. Then she swallowed and looked away. "Once," she murmured. "One time Jake got to third with me and I told him I had to leave."

His grip on her tightened. "The first time," he whispered, "when I knew I couldn't, when I knew it was wrong, was when I looked at her face and realized that I had expected to see yours."

"Did you sleep with her?" Nancy searched his eyes.

Ned shook his head. A tear fell down Nancy's cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb. With a stifled cry she pulled his face down to hers, and they kissed for a long moment.

He pulled back and Nancy pushed him over so she was on top of him, then pulled her top off. Ned groaned softly and turned his face away from her.

"What is it?" she whispered, and he could see her eyes gleaming in the moonlight.

"Don't," he whispered. He reached for her top and handed it back to her. "Don't do this. Not right now."

"I don't want him to have been the last one to have touched me that way," she said. She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "I want you," she whispered against his ear.

Ned closed his eyes as he reached up to take her face in his hands, feeling the heat of her bare skin radiating against his. "Did he make you come?" he whispered roughly.

Nancy shook her head and kissed him again. "Only you," she murmured against his skin.

He rolled over onto her then and traced his lips down her neck, his chest warm against hers, and she wrapped herself around him. She trailed her fingers down his back and he shivered, releasing his breath in a quiet moan that brushed the hair on her skin. He reached for her again and they kissed until she was breathless.

"We can't do this," he gasped when they pulled apart.

Nancy ran a hand through her hair. "Why not?" she whispered.

Ned shook his head and reached for her top again. He handed it back. "Put this on or I'm going to leave right now."

Nancy complied, pouting, tugging the silk back over her chest. He breathed more easily after that. "Why can't we?" she repeated.

"Because we won't stop," he said, running a hand over her face. "I don't want to stop."

"I didn't want to actually have sex," she said. Then she looked away. "Well—"

"I do," he said, smiling. "Save them. Until we go off for the weekend. Please."

"Do you want me to take them off now?" She grinned.

"Only if you do so behind closed doors and don't tell me what you're doing."

She pulled the covers up around them and lay against his chest. "Nah," she said. "If you're just going to tease me..."

"You were the one teasing me!" he protested, laughing.

"Whatever," she mumbled, smiling, her eyelids growing heavier.

\--

"So... have they come back yet?" Bess asked Nancy over the phone.

"No." Nancy's foot tapped impatiently on the floor. She was sitting just outside the room, within which a group of professors were going over the information Nancy and Jackie had discovered. The testimony and presentations were over. "They're not finished. I have no idea how long they'll take."

"Then I think the two of us should go grab some dinner. It's not like you can hurry things by sitting outside there waiting."

"You're right." Nancy stood and stretched her other arm over her head. She was wearing her most professional suit, to make a favorable impression on the people listening to her talk about her unprofessional relationship with her editor. "Hang on a second..."

Nancy headed toward the bathrooms at the side of the hall, where Jackie had gone to freshen up. Just as she pushed the door open she heard footsteps and glanced over her shoulder. Jake, his head down, wearing an equally responsible suit, was charging down the hallway toward the conference room.

Nancy cursed and let the door fall shut behind her. "Um, Jackie...?"

\--

"She'll call me the minute she knows anything."

"But you saw Jake? How'd you get away?"

"Jackie went out and stood guard for me." Nancy darted a glance around. "I'm a little nervous..."

"I can see that," Bess said, smiling. "I'd be surprised if you don't hear from Jake before you hear from Jackie."

Nancy unbuttoned her coat and cast a distasteful glance at her dinner tray. "I think the presentation went well. I hope it did. But I saw him walking down the hall..."

"Wonder how he heard about it."

Nancy propped her chin on folded hands. "I don't know. Someone must have told him. Certainly wasn't one of us."

"You been keeping low on his radar?"

Nancy shrugged. "Well, I did have to turn in a story a few weeks ago that he kept rejecting for no reason. We got into a pretty loud argument."

Bess threw her fork down after watching Nancy pick at her food. "This isn't doing us any good. Maybe we should just go get sundaes."

Bess paused over the toppings at the ice cream bar and Nancy said hesitantly, "Bess, can I ask you a favor...?"

"You can stay over tonight," Bess said, then met her eyes. "If you were about to ask that. My roommate's classes were all cancelled for tomorrow so she headed off for break early. Were yours cancelled?"

"All but the last one, and she said if we didn't show that it would be five points off our exam, so..." Nancy shrugged. "Thanks."

Bess shot her a half-smile. "To be honest I was wondering if you'd ask if you could crash over at Ned's."

"Not with that five points at stake. Besides, I want to sit up for hours and giggle about what Ned might be planning for this little trip."

Nancy paused as her cell phone rang. She pulled it out of her pocket and scowled at the caller ID.

Bess reached for it. "Let me talk to him, come on..."

Nancy snatched the phone away playfully and answered it. "Yes?"

"You blew this completely out of proportion, Drew."

"In what way?"

"I never said I'd fire you if you didn't quit. In fact, I did just the opposite, didn't I?"

"Because you were afraid of how it would look," Nancy countered.

Jake made a frustrated noise. "I'm glad I called things off. I don't know why I spent so much time with you. Maybe because I mistook your paranoia and delusions for actual talent."

Bess was startled at how quickly and deeply Nancy flushed. "This conversation is over," Nancy said, and then hung up the phone.

Bess took the dripping bowl of ice cream out of Nancy's hands. "Maybe we should go ahead back to the room."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a scene in this chapter which, I'd say, is a hard PG-13. Just to warn you.

"Timer, Nan... Nancy?"

Nancy shook herself. "What?"

"The timer for the stuffing." Hannah hauled herself off the couch and headed toward the kitchen. "Your mind is somewhere else, girl."

Nancy followed her. "Yeah," she sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Didn't you get everything you wanted?" Hannah joked. "Or is it a little too late for me to blame Santa Claus."

"I know I shouldn't let it bug me," Nancy said.

"You mean Jake? Just let me talk to him. Or better yet, let Ned talk to him. I'm sure that would end on a rather final note."

Nancy smiled weakly. "So is the turkey done?"

Hannah checked. "Yup. You take the first bite, I don't want to jinx it."

Nancy complimented the main dish heavily. "Let me go get Dad. I think he's been waiting all day for this."

The four of them sat down around the dining room table. After the blessing, over the dishes they passed around, Carson said, "So you're going on a little trip tomorrow, Nancy? Any mystery afoot?"

Nancy smiled. "No mystery. Just a plain old trip to the country, no complications in sight."

"Don't talk like that, you'll jinx it," Hannah said, smiling.

"How long will you be away? Will we get to see you again before next session starts?" Iris asked.

"Oh, it's just a long weekend. Four or five days. I'll be back before school starts."

Iris looked at Carson. "Maybe you and I could get away too? I feel like I've barely seen you in the past week or two."

Carson smiled. "Maybe we'll all get away. Hannah? You have any plans?"

"Not until Friday. But I have a lot to put in order in the house, don't you worry about me."

\--

"Remind me to hang out with you guys this summer. I'd love to be in this thing with the top down." Scott tapped on the roof of Nancy's Mustang.

"You mean between all the summer camps you volunteered to teach?" George teased him as she nudged him in the ribs.

Bess leaned into the backseat and grabbed her makeup bag. Mostly due to her luggage, everything wasn't able to fit in the Mustang's trunk, so the rest was in the floorboard in the backseat. George groaned. "When will you learn how to pack?"

"Maybe when life requires less than three outfits a day."

Scott made a choked noise. "Three?"

Nancy chuckled and caught his eye in the rearview. "Yeah. Don't sweat it, I don't think we'll be victim to Bess's well-stocked social calendar this trip."

"Oh, like this'll be a nice quiet trip to the country," Bess scoffed, studying her reflection in the passenger mirror. "When have we ever had a vacation that was relaxing, or where I didn't have to pretend to be a starlet or a clueless hiker?"

Scott looked between the three girls. "I heard Nancy was really hardcore with the investigating, but... are you serious? Have you guys never had an actual vacation?"

Nancy met George's eyes in the rearview and they both burst into giggles. "No," George reassured him, catching her breath. "I mean, I'm sure we did at some point, but it's been so long that we usually just sit back and go with the flow. We can be going on an isolated skiing trip and Nancy will stumble across some damsel in distress or a frozen corpse."

"Corpse?" Scott repeated, in alarm, and all three girls laughed.

"Just follow Ned's lead," Bess advised. "He's old hat at this. Maybe if things get bad enough he'll unplug the phone and lock the doors."

Scott leaned back. "I'd rather be locked in than stumble over a corpse."

\--

"Hey." Ned wrapped his arms around Nancy and lifted her off the ground. "I missed you, Drew."

"Missed you too," she replied, smiling up into his eyes.

Parker pulled suitcases from the back of his Jeep. "Hey you two. Stop with the lovey stuff and help with this luggage! What did you pack in here, Jan, bricks?"

Ned walked with her to the doorway of the master bedroom. Nancy stood there, gazing at the king-sized bed and fireplace. "Whoa. You sure they don't have cameras in here somewhere?"

"We can search everything if you want," Ned replied lightly. "But the thought of that is just a little creepy..."

Nancy thought a minute, then shivered. "I just remember all the times your parents made us sleep in the separate bedrooms here. The creaking floorboards..."

"When we used to sneak out?" Ned asked, then wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned back against his chest. "Congratulations on getting that asshole fired."

"Thanks," she replied, closing her eyes. "I'm afraid I've made an enemy, though."

"Not if he knows what's good for him," Ned growled. "An enemy of yours is most definitely an enemy of mine."

\--

A few hours later, after everyone had unpacked and the boys had set up a game console on the living room television, the girls left to go grocery shopping. Jan begged off to stay with Mike, so Nancy, Bess, and George were left to find the nearest store.

Bess was working on a list in the backseat. "We have silverware and everything, right?" she asked.

Nancy nodded. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure there's an entire set of plates and everything, so we should be fine."

"Oh, thanks, Bess," George called over her shoulder.

"Don't mention it," Bess said, waving her hand.

Nancy looked at George. "Hmm?"

"Oh, I... Scott and I aren't..."

"I agreed to sleep with George so she wouldn't have to sleep with Scott," Bess said, mercifully cutting off George. "Besides, Ned tells me Parker snores like a buzzsaw so I don't mind the sacrifice."

"Well, now I feel bad. I didn't mean to be one of the only ones sleeping with someone else."

"Mike and Jan are practically married anyway, just like the two of you," Bess said. "I'm thinking sandwiches for lunch tomorrow, maybe chili tonight?"

"Chili sounds good."

"Hang on," Nancy interjected. "Ned and I aren't 'practically married.'"

George glanced over her shoulder at Bess, and the cousins looked at each other. "All right," George sighed. "If you say so."

"What? We've been together... three months."

"Plus how many years? Besides, you two are so in love it'll only be a matter of time."

"'Practically married,'" Nancy repeated. She was scowling. "That sounds so... boring."

"I didn't mean it that way," Bess said. "Not boring. I'd like to be as comfortable as you are with a guy."

"Comfortable..." Nancy shuddered.

"Good old dependable everlasting Ned," George said, chuckling.

"And good old Nancy."

\--

Bess was stirring a triple recipe of her chili on the stove and Nancy was mixing batter for corn muffins when Ned came up behind her and kissed the top of her head. "The guys are starving, it's gonna be soon, right?"

Nancy smiled at him. "Yeah. It'll be soon. Go back to playing your game."

"We're taking a break. Scott's thumbs are tired." Ned chuckled ruthlessly.

Nancy turned around and met Ned's eyes. He smiled down at her. She lowered her voice, so Bess wouldn't hear. "You're not bored with me, are you?"

"What?" Ned asked.

Nancy took his hand and led him outside, onto the back deck, which was covered in about half a foot of snow, and repeated her question.

Ned laughed. "Nan... I've never been bored with you."

Nancy brushed a stray hair out of her eyes. "Bess called us an old married couple," she said grumpily.

He raised an eyebrow. "Well, Nan, compared to the average duration of her relationships..."

She sighed. "I know. I just... don't want us to be boring. Average."

"You're anything but average."

Nancy grinned up at him. "In some ways, at least," she teased him.

"In all the ways I know you." Ned opened his arms and Nancy snuggled inside, against the wind blowing to the back of the house.

\--

Parker pushed open the front door, snow swirling around his silhouette. "Hey," he called, then groaned. "Trivial Pursuit?" He put the case of beer he was carrying on the floor and started blowing into his mittens, then moved aside so Scott could enter and close the door.

"Yes, Trivial Pursuit," Bess said, moving over on the couch and patting the space next to her. "No absentee voting. Come sit down."

"You gonna warm me up, Bess?" Parker asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Hey, throw me one of those," Mike called, and Scott obliged him. "Ned?"

"Just the one," Ned said, and took a beer. "It's getting late."

Parker laughed. "Like that ever stopped you before."

"It's not like we have to get up in the morning, right?" Mike looked around.

"Well, there will be some sales tomorrow..." Jan mentioned timidly.

Bess reached across the table to give her a high-five. "This girl's got the right idea. I need a new jacket."

"You packed three!" George protested.

"But not a _waterproof _one," Bess moaned.

"Is there anything in town to do while this is going on?" Scott asked. "Not that I won't beat you next time we race, but it'll get old kinda quick."

"I'd be content to kick back here all day tomorrow," Mike winked. "But if Jan wants to go to town..."

"It looked pretty small, though," Scott protested.

"Just that part of it," Ned reassured him. "They have a downtown with some shops where the girls can have some fun."

\--

Nancy sighed contentedly as Ned pulled back for breath. "This was the best idea ever," she told him. "Thanks for inviting us."

"Anytime," he said, leaning down to kiss her again. He had started a fire in the fireplace before they had crawled under four quilts together, and for a moment all she could hear was the blood rushing in her ears and the fire crackling in the corner. She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, acutely aware of his closeness to her.

When they broke again he nuzzled against her neck, and she smiled. "Love you," she whispered.

"Love you too," he replied, his voice muffled against her skin. He pulled back to look into her eyes. "I have a surprise for you," he said quietly.

She grinned. "Is it going to involve us taking clothes off?"

She was startled when he pulled back and crawled out of the bed. He rummaged through the pockets of his leather coat, and Nancy sat up, pulled the quilt up to her chin and watched him.

He walked back over to her and slid back into bed, under the covers, up against her warmth. "Okay," he said.

She could tell he was nervous. "What, did you finally remember that you forgot to give me a Christmas present?" she teased him.

"I didn't forget," he said. His fingers touched hers, and she relaxed into his kiss. In the midst of it her eyes popped open and stared into his.

He pulled back slightly, enough that she could lift her hand and look at the ring gleaming on her finger, sparkling in the firelight. "Marry me," he murmured against her mouth.

Nancy pulled away from him and sat up in bed, her eyes fixed on the ring. She swallowed, and her lips moved wordlessly. He watched her shake her head and open her mouth again.

Ned sat up and gazed at her, worried. "Nan?"

She met his eyes and swallowed again. "Wow," she whispered. "Um..."

He moved toward her and she slid out of bed, onto her bare feet, and stood in her camisole and flannel pants. He draped his legs over the side of the bed, still looking up at her, and she took another step backward.

"Say something," he said. "You're scaring me."

She met his gaze. "Ned, are you sure about this?"

"More sure than anything in my entire life."

"But Ned, our parents...?"

"Nancy, this is our decision. If you want me to go out there and shout it to the rooftops, to anyone who cares to listen..."

"This isn't about everyone." Nancy sat down beside him on the bed and glanced back down at the ring.

Ned took her chin in his hand. "No, it's not about everyone," he said. He leaned over and kissed her. "Tell me now," he whispered against her mouth, his eyes closed, his fists clenched. "Go ahead and tell me..."

"Yes," she whispered, and both of them opened their eyes at once. She laughed nervously. "Yes I will marry you, and..."

He didn't stop to hear any more. He stood up and pulled her into his arms, and she laughed aloud as he twirled her around, his rich baritone under hers. "Yes, yes yes yes," he said, and then he put her on the bed and smothered her with kisses.

When they broke for air she pulled the covers tight around them and nestled against him. "I love you so much," she whispered.

"Love you too," he said, kissing the crown of her head.

\--

Bess met Nancy's eyes in the bathroom mirror the next morning. "Okay, you can't say nothing happened last night, I heard too much going on in there to be nothing..."

Nancy wordlessly raised her left hand to Bess's eye level, and Bess turned around and took Nancy's hand in hers, gasping. "Oh wow. Yeah, I'd have to say that's not nothing."

"Pretty respectable, huh."

"So I guess he didn't forget your Christmas present after all." Bess grinned. "So did he give you anything besides a diamond last night? Maybe he wanted a test drive?"

Nancy blushed slightly and leaned over the sink. "No. We'll have plenty of time for that. I just..." She turned and looked Bess in the eye. "I just think it would be too easy for him to give me that and then I just give it up to him. Immediately. I mean, he proposed to me while we were in bed."

"You must've been pretty good, then."

"We were just making out," Nancy said, exasperated. She noted Bess's grin and hit her lightly on the arm. "Yeah, if my kisses are that good..."

The two girls exited the bathroom and walked back to their table, where the rest of their party was waiting. Their plates had arrived already. "Mmm, stuffed french toast," Bess said, her eyes wide.

\--

"Oh God," Scott said aloud, rubbing his hands over his face. "Please, please, I swear if I walk into another antique shop..."

George patted Scott's back as Jan and Bess ducked into the store next door. "Is there any other place we could go?" she asked Ned.

Nancy walked out of the candy store with a paper bag in her hands and joined the group. "Bet you wish you'd gone back with Mike and Parker."

Scott looked around wildly. "I had no idea. I'm glad you're not like that," he said, gazing at George.

George smiled back at him. "Hmm. Me too," she teased him.

"Well, you've already seen the railroad station..." Ned opened Nancy's bag of candy and felt around inside. "There's only one place left. It's an old church near here."

Nancy popped a caramel into her mouth. "Yeah, it's cool. They have these underground burial chambers..."

Scott raised his eyebrows. "Hmm. That could work."

Nancy ducked into the shop behind Bess and Jan to tell them where to find them, but located them only after five minutes of searching, a lot of sneezing, and peering behind a doll case. When she emerged she demanded, "We'd better get some ice cream. I swear..."

Nancy and Ned ended up splitting a chocolate milkshake, so they couldn't follow George and Scott down into the basement. To kill time Nancy started looking through the brochures in the lobby.

The old woman behind the counter smiled at her. "So are you and your young man here to be married?"

Nancy's eyes widened and she let out an involuntary laugh. Then she looked over and saw Ned looking over, his eyes alert.

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I just saw the ring on your finger..."

Nancy glanced down at the diamond again. Ned walked over and handed Nancy the remains of the milkshake.

"So do a lot of people get married here?" he asked, in a light conversational tone. Nancy looked at him, aghast.

The old woman nodded. "Right now is a popular time. Not as popular as the summer, of course, but they like the valley out back."

Ned walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain. "It is gorgeous," he admitted. "Beautiful country around here."

"Have you been in the sanctuary?"

Ned nodded. "We have a house not too far from here. I've been here before."

"Oh. Maybe I'm too late," the woman said, her eyes sparkling.

"We're not—" Nancy and Ned began at the same time.

\--

"I'll take two," Jan said. She eyed the stack of chips near her feet and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't try to bluff me," Ned warned, grinning.

"So I missed out on the church, and the old lady who wanted you two to elope." Bess scowled. "And I didn't even find anything in that store."

"She didn't want us to elope," Nancy said. "Just... well, get married at her church, I guess. Maybe she just wanted an excuse to see Ned again," Nancy grinned and bumped him.

George took a handful of Doritos and passed the bag. "Yeah, I can't believe I missed out on that either. But the church was pretty cool. Did you see the valley out back?"

Scott looked over. "Don't tell me we have to go back tomorrow..."

"What, you didn't like it?"

"I thought it was great. But haven't we seen everything there is to see in town?"

Ned nodded and rearranged his cards. "Yeah. Unless we go to Blockbuster and get started on the action marathon..."

\--

An hour or so later, after the house stood silent in the dark, Ned walked up behind Nancy and watched her swallow her birth control pill.

"Is that what I think it is?"

Nancy took a sip of water and nodded. "Though maybe I shouldn't tell you that..."

Ned smiled. "No, I'm not sure you should have."

She turned around and slid her arms around his neck. "But it doesn't change anything."

Ned checked whatever he was about to say and rested his cheek against Nancy's. "I saw the look in your eyes today," he said.

"And I saw the look in yours." She kissed his cheek.

He flipped off the lights behind them and led her to bed. "I was thinking about it," he admitted. "But it would be stupid for us to do it."

"Why?" she asked, nestling against his chest and gazing up at him.

He regarded her in the firelight. "I can't even get into family housing until next semester at the earliest, but... we won't be at the same school. I won't let you." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "Our engagement is going to be a year and a half long, at least... maybe two and a half, if we wait until you're out."

"So why did you propose to me now?" she asked him quietly.

"Because I want you to be mine," he murmured, half-smiling. "Purely selfish reasons. No more threatening to leave me." He kissed the top of her head.

"I'll be yours forever," she said, leaning back to meet his gaze.

"What are you worried about?"

Nancy sighed. "I don't know," she admitted. "Telling my dad. Not wanting to stop when I'm sleeping with you. That someone or something will talk us out of it."

"Not cold feet?"

"I couldn't have cold feet. I feel like we've been almost-engaged forever."

"Old married couple?" He smiled.

"You know not," she said, pushing herself up to kiss him on the lips. "Old married virgins."

"Maybe that's why you want to get married," he said, reaching up to pull her to him for another kiss. "Maybe..."

She crawled over him until her knees were on either side of his hips and returned his kiss. Ned murmured something, his hand sliding down her back.

"So do you want to have kids?" he asked when they broke for air.

"Now?" she asked, grinning. She reached down and pulled her nightgown off.

Ned groaned as they kissed again. "Not now," he murmured. "Dear God, I want you..."

"I want you too," she whispered. He rolled her onto her back and kissed her again, and she put her arms around him. They broke for air and he rested his forehead against hers.

"Put your gown back on," he whispered, his eyes closed, breath ragged.

Nancy closed her eyes. "I know I should," she murmured. "But I don't want to."

He slid his palm down her side and she felt his breath catch. "Please," he whispered.

She cupped his face in her hands and he opened his eyes. "Okay," she murmured. "This is only gonna get harder, isn't it."

He laughed. "You could say that."

\--

The following night, when Nancy and Ned returned to the house, everyone was sitting around the television watching a movie featuring a lot of explosions and a physically well-defined man who spoke nearly unintelligible English. Six pairs of eyes rose to meet them as Ned closed the door.

"Hey," he said.

"Um..." Parker looked chagrined. "Could you... go look at the pool?"

Ned released a breath slowly, through his mouth, before answering. "Do I want to know why?"

"Is there a body?" Nancy said before she thought.

Scott glanced around. "Man, I hope not."

"It's just that..." Parker led Ned to the back of the house, and Nancy took a seat in the recliner.

"So what's going on?"

Bess nodded at the screen. "That guy is chasing some terrorists. And there was something about some diamonds, but I don't remember..."

George rolled her eyes. "It's how he was supposed to pay off the guys who kidnapped his son, remember?"

Mike shook his head impatiently. "Look, all you need to know is that he's wired that building with enough explosive to throw the Earth out of its orbit."

Nancy smiled. "Thanks. Is there any popcorn in that bowl?"

Bess glanced down. "No. I'm sorry. I'll make some more—"

"No, that's okay," Nancy said, unfolding her legs and standing. "I've missed so much of it already that another five minutes won't make a difference. And I'm sure Ned will want some popcorn."

Bess looked at her once they were in the kitchen. "You okay?"

Nancy shrugged.

"We only have two more days here," Bess reminded her. "And then next week we go back to school and you'll be seeing Ned on the weekends if you're lucky. Not to mention dealing with Jake, and the paper..."

Nancy nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table. "I feel like I'm dreaming. I know we have to go back, but... it seems so far away. I want it to be far away."

The microwave emitted a shrill beep and Bess emptied the popcorn into a glass bowl. Ned walked through the back door and Parker walked in behind him, but walked on through to the living room. Ned leaned over and rested his elbows on the countertop.

"Who thought it was a good idea to take the cover off the pool?" he asked Bess. Then he shook his head. "Never mind."

Bess offered him the bowl and he took a handful. "So are you two doing anything tomorrow?"

Nancy almost coughed, but took a handful of popcorn.

Ned shrugged. "I'm not sure yet," he said.

Nancy headed back into the dark living room. Her recliner was still unoccupied so she sat down in it and pulled her legs up. After the guys had cheered over three or four massive slow-motion explosions, Bess walked out of the kitchen carrying the bowl of popcorn. Ned followed her with two bottles of water. He handed Nancy one.

She glanced up at his face. "Thanks," she murmured, then stood to offer him her chair. He sat down and pulled her into his lap.

\--

"You're the one who said you didn't have the time to commit to our relationship."

"I can make time," Nancy said, her face set. "Maybe you can't?"

"Dammit, Nancy," Ned said, taking off his robe and throwing it at the chair. "I'm on your side."

"We could get married on Valentine's Day," she said. "Or we could just wait until then. Think things over."

Ned rubbed a hand over his face. "Are you going to still be mad at me?" he asked. "Nancy, I'm sorry. I just don't see the logic in doing it now, as much as I'd want to..."

"You do want to?" She rose from the bed and took his hands in hers.

He nodded. "But part of being married is living together," he said slowly. "We can't live together right now."

"We can live together every weekend."

He made a frustrated noise and looked away from her.

"All or nothing, is that it?" she asked softly.

"All of you," he said. "Not tonight, not now, but..."

"Are you saying you'd set a date?" she asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Is that what you're worried about? That I'll never set a date?"

"That we'll be teasing each other and it'll go too far one night," she said. "The more I see you, the more I know I want to be with you. And how much I want to wake up every morning and see you there with me. If I could I would just fast-forward through the rest of college and then we could be together."

He half-smiled. "Yeah."

"But right now... we're still temporary, you know? Going out ends in breaking up or engagement, engagements end in marriage or breaking... either way, what we are now will end."

"Everything ends," he reminded her, and kissed the tip of her nose.

"I don't want us to end. I don't want to get so bogged down in schoolwork and stories for the paper that I end up neglecting you."

"You say it like it's a foregone conclusion," he said. "Look, I know you wouldn't do that intentionally."

"I guess I just want to know that you'll be there no matter what. Through school and temporary insanity and..."

He leaned down and kissed her on the mouth, and her eyes fluttered shut. "You have my word," he said, his eyes glowing as he smiled softly.

"But..."

"Shh," he said, kissing her again. "Just calm down, Nan."

"What if I never have the nerve for this again?" she asked him softly.

"You will," he said. "I think what you need right now is a good night's sleep."

Even after he had fallen asleep beside her Nancy still couldn't. She listened to him breathe and tried to make herself do the same, the slow rhythm, but instead she turned over and watched his face. He was unconcerned, unflappable.

Maybe she was overreacting. But she was afraid she'd never feel this way again. Afraid that one day she'd decide that having a boyfriend—_fiancé_, she corrected herself—so far away just wasn't worth it. She'd been stupid enough to give him up before, to have her head turned by other guys. How would this be any different? Their relationship hadn't significantly changed; they had been this physically intimate before. She'd known for a long time that he wanted to marry her. That hadn't stopped her when Sasha, or Mick, or...

And Mike had known it would happen. Everyone had known it would happen, save the two of them. Because she wanted to forget every single one of their mistakes, and she was sure Ned did too. She saw their relationship as a string of perfect days, uninterrupted, until she focused on the cracks they had worked so hard to overcome.

But she couldn't put it in words, her desire for him to go ahead, commit himself, or more accurately her, to this, to force her to stop wondering. She wanted him to tell her firmly that she could not do this again, could not go to another guy, that if she did it would be over...

But then maybe she'd tell herself that if another guy could turn her head then she just wasn't ready to settle down.

Nancy sighed and flipped her pillow over to the cooler side and curled up, facing away from him.

She could feel herself changing. She could feel herself blinding to everyone but him, and it was great, perfect. She didn't want to lose that feeling. But if she left now, went back without committing herself permanently to him, who knew how long it would last.

She ran a hand over her damp cheeks and fell into an uneasy sleep.

\--

"Nan..."

She had no idea what time it was or if she was even awake. She felt Ned's hands at her waist, tugging at her shirt, and lifted her arms so he could pull it over her head. Once he'd done that he hooked his thumbs over the waist of her pants and pulled them off, and when her eyes fluttered open to see his face she was completely naked.

He took her in his arms and kissed her, and she twined her arms up around his neck. She wasn't thinking. She couldn't think.

When he pulled back she was smiling, one of her legs wrapped loosely around his. "You like to be in control," she accused him, mildly. "You don't want to do it when I take my shirt off, but when it's you..."

"Go ahead and take my shorts off," he told her, his breathing ragged.

Her eyes opened a little more widely, but she did as he requested, and when he came back to her she opened her legs to him. His hands wandered over her breasts and she moaned, arching her back. He trailed kisses down to her navel and she tilted her head, her breathing shallow. Her legs fell open and she took a handful of the sheet in her clenched fist.

"God, you're ready," he whispered.

"Don't stop," she moaned back to him. "Don't, please..."

She was just beginning to feel it, the fear that crept over her when they were this close. It had only happened a few times before, but she felt like her heart was about to beat out of her chest. She buried her face against his shoulder, her quickened breath wet against his skin, her every nerve centered on him, on the touch of his fingers as they trailed down to her waist, his weight pressing her down—

Someone knocked at their door and suddenly Nancy was fully awake. Her eyes opened wide with shock and Ned rolled off her, closing the door quietly behind him as he went into their bathroom. Nancy dragged a hand through her hair, glancing around the room. "Just a minute," she called when the knock was repeated. She grabbed Ned's robe and slipped it on, and had just finished tying the knot at the front when she opened the door.

"Hey," Parker said. He glanced at her and then at the pile of clothes in evidence on the floor. "Um... we're gonna go ahead to the pancake place. Mike and Jan aren't quite ready yet either so they can ride with you two. If that's okay."

"Sure, that's fine," Nancy said, still trying to catch her breath.

She was sitting on the bed when Ned stepped out of the bathroom. She smiled.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I thought I was still dreaming."

"Must have been some dream," she replied.

\--

The lake never cooled enough for skating, never even came close. The breeze coming off the surface was brutal, though. Nancy snuggled into her coat and tightened her grip on Ned's ungloved hand, which he had placed in his pocket.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He snorted. "I'm the one who's sorry," he said. "What happened this morning was way, way out of line, totally uncalled for, and I understand if you are freaked out..."

"I'm not," she replied quietly. "Considering I was practically begging for it."

He looked down. "We can't keep doing this."

She stopped, so that he did, then looped her other arm around his neck and pulled his face down to hers for a kiss. "I love you," she whispered. "I'm not sorry. And I know... I know what I told you, and it's still true. Not until we're married."

"But...?" he asked, brushing a strand of hair from her face.

"A sheet of paper..." she looked over his shoulder, and smiled to herself. "A sheet of paper couldn't possibly make me love you more, make you any more worthy to be that man. And... Ned, you are going to be that man. You are going to be the one, who loves me... it feels like you've loved me forever, and it will be, our wedding night..."

He leaned close to her, pressed his cold cheek to hers. "You're not making any sense," he whispered, and she laughed at the tone in his voice, the feel of his breath against her ear, despite her trembling heart. "But we will wait, because we will be married. Not tomorrow, not soon, but... for you, Nan, I think I could."

"For me." She was smiling. "Thanks."

He heaved a mock sigh. "The things I do for you," he said, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

She pressed a kiss against his cheek.

\--

"Freeze."

Nancy stood stock-still in the kitchen, one hand on the counter, the other reaching for a saucer.

"Turn."

She was pretty sure she knew why Hannah was gazing rather intently at her, but she obeyed the command to the letter. Hannah walked over to her and took her left hand, staring at the ring on her finger.

"Is this what I think it is?"

Nancy nodded. "Yeah," she breathed.

"When?"

She turned to lift the saucer out of the cabinet, placed it on the countertop, while framing her answer. "While we were up at the cabin."

"Did he ask you over dinner? Out on the lake?" Hannah's eyes were sparkling.

Nancy relaxed a little once she decided Hannah wasn't about to yell at her. "We were alone, in front of a roaring fire…" she said, trailing off, a smile on her face.

"So when are you two going to get married?"

Nancy shrugged, then slid a slice of toast onto her plate. "It'll be more than a year from now. I don't want to marry Ned while we're both in school, and he agrees with me."

Hannah leaned against the counter, her arms crossed. "Does your dad know yet?"

"No." Nancy walked over to the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of juice. "I was thinking maybe I should tell him at lunch today."

Hannah nodded. "He should be back around lunchtime. Maybe you could take him out to his favorite restaurant…?"

Nancy grinned, then bit her lip. "Do you think he's going to take it that badly?"

"You know him better than I do," Hannah pointed out. "What do you think?"

"I don't know." Nancy settled on a barstool at the breakfast nook. "Two years ago I think it was a given. Everyone knew we were going to get married. But now…" Nancy sighed.

"Could Ned make it over here for lunch?"

Nancy glanced at her watch. "Maybe a late dinner," she admitted. "Emerson's playing St Joseph's on one of the ESPN channels right after lunch."

"Maybe tomorrow would be better," Hannah said. She glanced down at Nancy's hand again. "But I think he's going to ask questions if you leave that on."

\--

"So what's up?" Ned was breathless, returning the voicemail she had left on his cell phone.

Nancy drew the locket out from under her sweater, the locket Ned had given her a long time ago, which still held his picture. She had put the engagement ring on the necklace and tucked it under her clothes to avoid her father's questions. "Congratulations," she said, looking at the picture of him on her nightstand.

He laughed. "Thanks," he said. "Did you watch?"

"Every second," she said. "I nearly went hoarse screaming at the television."

"That's what I like to hear," he said. "I know we left plans for this weekend kind of open…"

"Yeah," she said. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you think you could…" she trailed off.

"What?"

"Come see me tomorrow?"

"Sure," he said easily. She heard his teammates start chanting in the background, and Ned laughed again, then returned to the phone. "See you in River Heights tomorrow, around lunchtime?"

"That'd be great," she said. "Wear your blue suit."

"Can I tell you what to wear too?" he teased.

"I doubt whatever you'd suggest would be appropriate," she teased him back.

"Oh, it would be for what I have in mind," he said. "Well, would have been."

"Not for going to lunch with my dad."

He was quiet for a minute. "Is this… are we announcing?"

"If you're okay with that."

"I was okay with that the minute I put that ring on your finger," Ned said quietly, and Nancy felt herself blush. "I'll steel myself for the parental inquisition."

"Have you told your parents yet?"

"Well, they knew," he said, then cut himself short. "They don't know for sure. Want me to see if they can come along too?"

Nancy thought about it a minute. "Sure," she said. "We may as well both be nervous."

He laughed softly. "Wear the blue silk dress," he said.

\--

Ned pulled her Mustang to a stop in a parking space and turned to her. "All right," he said, exhaling slowly.

Nancy was twisting her hair up and securing it with a few pins. "Take my necklace off," she requested. When his hands touched her neck she felt a delicious shudder slide over her skin.

"Now what?"

"How do I look?"

He leaned back, a smile twitching his lips. She was wearing the blue silk dress, as he had requested, her blue eyes wide as they gazed into his. He traced his fingers a breath's width over her cheek, then kissed her. "You smell great."

"My heart's about to beat out of my chest," she admitted, laughing nervously.

"Just one more thing," he said, sliding the ring back on her finger. "Now you look great."

"Thanks," she whispered. She met his gaze. "Five more minutes until we do this."

"It's gonna be okay," he reassured her. "We have reservations."

She laughed at him, a genuine laugh this time. "We won't have to make small talk."

"Oh, we'll still have to make small talk," he corrected her. "Maybe. Though wearing that ring in may cut the small talk pretty short."

"They're going to ask us when."

He shrugged. "Eighteen months," he said. Then he glanced at her. "Or more. We should get our stories straight before we walk in."

"Eighteen months is fine," she said quietly. Then she smiled.

"What?"

"That'll avoid the 'did you get her pregnant' tangent."

Ned choked and started coughing violently. "Thanks, could you warn me before you do that?" he managed.

She smiled. "I could, but then it wouldn't be nearly as entertaining."

"I'm not going to take that chance," he said to her, seriously. "I mean it. As much as I love being with you… I don't think either one of us is ready for that."

"What you're not ready for is the unmarked grave my father will plant you in," she said.

"Oh, like he's not going to be planning that after lunch?" Ned said.

Nancy shook her head slowly. "No, I don't think he will," she replied. "We're good, responsible kids."

"Kids," he repeated, taking her chin in his hand. "We're good, responsible adults."

Nancy laughed. "No, we're not," she said. "Good responsible adults have steady jobs and don't live off ramen noodles. I'm an investigative reporter and you're…"

"Undetermined business graduate," he replied, distracted. "It's time to go inside. How do I look?"

She reached over and straightened his tie. "Charming," she said. "Not like a person about to basically ask permission to deflower me in a year and a half."

Ned scowled until he saw the teasing look on her face. "At least you don't seem nervous anymore," he said, climbing out of her car.

"No," she agreed. "But I'm sure I can remember how."

Nancy found herself unconsciously sliding the ring around on her finger as they were seated at a table with Ned's parents and her father. Ned gave her hand a final squeeze and then released it, opening his menu.

"Would anyone like to start with a glass of wine?" the waiter asked.

Nancy had to fight the urge to answer "Yes, please, just bring the bottle." No one ordered any alcohol, not even those at the table old enough to do so.

After the drinks had arrived and their entrees were ordered, the parents turned expectantly to their children. Nancy could clearly hear her heart thudding in her chest, tell-tale, and wondered that no one else seemed to notice. She exchanged a glance with Ned.

"We're pregnant," he said.

\--

Bess let out a shocked laugh. "Then what happened?" she asked quickly.

"I think Ned had a minor heart attack," Nancy said, grinning. She stirred her chocolate milkshake with her straw. "My dad turned this shade of red that was almost purple before Ned could correct himself. I think Edith almost fainted."

"And he said that why?"

"Because it had been the last thing we'd been talking about," Nancy said. "It was right there on the tip of his tongue. I wasn't any help, I just started laughing and couldn't stop. Once everyone was calmed down, I think that broke the ice pretty well. Ned explained, we told them it would be more than eighteen months and there was no possible way I could be pregnant, we had wine all around…" Nancy shrugged and trailed off.

"Wow." Bess dipped her last french fry in ketchup and popped it into her mouth. "I guess after that there was no way they could take it badly. 'No, we're not married yet, we didn't elope, we're not about to have a baby…'"

Nancy speared a bite of Bess's chocolate cake and tasted it. "All things considered, it went well."

"Yeah, just don't tempt fate," Bess said darkly.

Nancy opened her eyes wide, innocent. "Tempt fate how?"

"By calling for another family meeting next month and announcing that oops, well, maybe the wedding will be a bit sooner…"

Nancy threw her straw wrapper at Bess. "No chance of that," she said. "Ned and I talked about it and that's the last thing we need right now."

Bess gave an exaggerated gasp, her eyes dancing. "Does this actually mean we might see you on the weekends?"

"Are you saying I only go visit him to sleep with him?"

"No," Bess said. "Well, yes. I mean, hell, Nancy, if he were my fiancé I know I'd be all over that every weekend."

Nancy laughed. "Nope," she replied. "Other than the Winter Carnival, I think we're both pretty booked. So yeah. Maybe we can get in some girl time."


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh, come on, Nan." Girl time for Bess was a good shopping trip, and she was already well loaded down with bags, while Nancy carried only a few.

"He said we're not going to sleep in the same bed anymore, so what would be the point?" Nancy didn't look away from the gown, though.

"It's Valentine's Day. I'm sure it'll be an exception."

Nancy shook her head. "He was serious. And buying this would just make me wish..."

"Wish what?"

"That it were easier to change his mind." Nancy tried not to imagine how she'd look in it, and how he'd probably respond. The gown would hit her about mid-thigh. It was silk, blush pink with darker lace trim and spaghetti straps. "Besides, I'm going to be staying in Brook's room, I'm sure."

"He hasn't wavered once?"

Nancy shrugged. "I've seen him twice between and nope, not a hint of it."

"He'll probably be dying for it, then."

Nancy punched Bess playfully in the arm. "Shut up."

"Buy it." Bess nodded at the gown. "It'll look great on you. And since you don't have those extra five pounds to lose before you wear it, you can even save it for your wedding. Cause who knows if it'll be on sale next week."

\--

"Thanks for coming."

Nancy laughed when Ned took her into his arms and hugged her tight. "Like I had a choice," she teased him. "Who can turn down Emerson over Valentine's Day?"

"I know I've never been able to," Ned said.

When he released her, she leaned against her Mustang, snuggling her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. "My bag's in the trunk. Is Brook lending a spare bed again?"

Nancy caught the look in Ned's eye, but he nodded. "Yeah, but I just saw her. She's not in her room right now."

"Thinking of a way to kill some time, Nickerson?"

"Oh, not kill it. Maybe lull it gently to sleep."

"It's a little early."

"Yeah, it is." He took her arm and led her away from her car.

"We have such a long weekend ahead of us."

"Yeah, well, I've got lots of activities planned to keep you busy, Drew."

"I can't wait," she said gently.

\--

He noticed her looking at the edge of the pond. "Yeah, they've put up the barriers. You'd better not try to fall through again."

She smiled and turned to skate backwards, facing him. "I wouldn't dare, not with you here."

"You tried even with me here." He reached over and took her hand.

She looked down when she felt him touch the ring. "It's gorgeous, Ned."

"What have you figured out about it, Detective?"

She twirled so that his arm was wrapped around her waist as they skated side by side. "It's old," she said. "Some initials are carved on the inside, but I don't recognize them. You been frequenting pawn shops?"

He caught her sideways grin and mock-scowled at her. "That it?"

"The diamonds are a rarer cut," she said. "It looks... it looks specially made, except for those initials on the inside. And you had it sized bigger for me."

"You never met my great-grandfather, did you."

Nancy shook her head. "No, but I remember your great-grandmother."

"She died just about a year ago. Last Christmas."

Nancy's fingers closed over his. "Oh, I'm sorry, Ned."

He shrugged. "My great-grandfather gave her that ring. When she died, it came to me, with their initials still inside."

"So that's why." Nancy looked down at it. "Wow. Thanks. I mean, it meant a lot to me before, but now..."

He nodded. "He had it specially made for her. And it wouldn't be too difficult for me to have our initials carved in there too." She smiled, and he looked at her sideways. "What?" he asked.

"It sounds so romantic, but... I'm attached to it now."

Ned grinned. "Aww."

Nancy glanced at her watch. "Aren't we going to dinner soon?"

Ned curved his arm around her waist and patted her stomach. "You hungry?"

"A bit," she admitted.

"Even with this beautiful vista around us." He gestured around them, at the fairy lights in the bushes, the cottages on the far shore, the dark blue sky above them.

"A girl has to eat."

Ned heaved a tragic sigh. "Oh, all right. I have to run an errand first, if you don't mind."

Nancy laughed. "You, turning down immediate food? I'm shocked."

"Somehow, when I'm around you, everything else seems to matter a little less."

She patted his hand, which was still over her stomach. "Same here," she murmured.

\--

"Right here," he said, directing her to drive up a path leading off the paved campus road.

Nancy squinted at the tree-lined darkness. "This seems familiar," she murmured.

"Yeah, you've been here before, but on foot," Ned admitted. "Now just..."

"Turn left," she said with him, twisting the steering wheel. The softly-lit cabin appeared in a clearing, right on the lakefront.

"Oh, so Michael is having you run an errand?" she asked, recognizing the house. Ned glanced around as Nancy parked her Mustang in the gravel pit.

"Something like that," he said. "Why don't you come in with me?"

Nancy glanced around, just as he had. "There are no other cars here," she said. "We're not meeting someone here for dinner." She smoothed a hand over her cashmere sweater and brushed off her camel-colored corduroy pants, stepped out of the car in her suede chocolate-colored boots.

"No, we're not meeting anyone here," Ned said. "But our reservation is soon so we'd better hurry."

Nancy stepped through the doorway of the house and sniffed. Then her lips curled in a smile. "Our reservations are here, aren't they."

"If the pledges did everything right..." Ned replied, laughing, and she followed him into the kitchen. An electric grill was set up on the stove, a pair of steaks still steaming on top. Ned checked the oven and found the baked potatoes. Nancy tipped back the lid on a pot simmering on the stove and found soup still warm inside.

"So how'd you get permission to use the President of Omega Chi's quarters?" Nancy asked, leaning against the counter, her arms crossed in front of her. "Assuming you have permission. Are we to be very careful while we're eating here?"

"Oh, I have permission," Ned said, grabbing an oven mitt to remove the potatoes. "After that pledge stunt..."

Nancy smiled. "You mean when you were supposed to be here decorating for a party and things got out of hand?"

"Yeah," Ned said ruefully. "A lot of the guys in my pledge class were thrown out over that. Thank God I had an alibi for it. Not that it wasn't funny to see Jeff's face when he got here."

"After that, you actually had pledges here again?" Nancy raised an eyebrow.

"I had Howie here supervising them," Ned admitted. "He did the steaks."

"_Howie_?" Nancy repeated, incredulous. "I didn't know he could cook."

"He's the best. We tell him that if he ever gets tired of basketball he should open his own restaurant."

Nancy and Ned stood looking at each other for a moment, spellbound, and then Nancy broke it, leaned over to the sink to wash her hands. "So how can I help?"

After their quickly assembled dinner was on the table, Ned poured Nancy a glass of wine, then sat down across from her. "So? Any good?"

Nancy looked around. " I have to admit, this place is immaculate, and I didn't expect it to be after that last party here."

Ned was cutting into his steak, but he paused to meet her eyes as he considered. "Oh. That party."

"Yeah. That party. The one where I almost got thrown in the lake."

Ned grinned. "Impromptu wet t-shirt contest."

"Yeah, well, when I come here I don't usually expect to be dripping wet in the freezing cold. That's just me, though."

Ned watched her over the candles as she took a bite of salad. "I'm glad you came."

Nancy swallowed and took a sip of wine. "I'm glad I did too," she said. "This is all very romantic, Nickerson. Much more than you taking me to some anonymous restaurant full of people."

"Oh? Only home-cooked meals for you from now on, huh." Ned took a sip of wine, a smile quirking his lips.

"You know what I mean," she said, her eyes dancing. "Your display of pledge-based power really turns me on."

"The pledges actually want to be assigned my dirty work," Ned said in a grandiose voice.

Nancy giggled. "All dirty laundry and car washes?"

Ned shrugged. "Basically, yeah. And dinner for two when supervised by Howie... hey, that's barely a chore at all."

\--

"You sure Michael won't be using this as his love nest tonight?" Nancy asked as she crossed the living room carpet to the big-screen television.

Ned sat down on the couch and rested his arms on the back. "He's between girls right now, not that it means anything. But no, he shouldn't be back tonight. I know there are some videos here..."

Nancy opened a drawer. "So, you want to watch..." she leaned down and scrutinized the case of a tape. "Oh, God."

"What is it?"

"Um..."

"Please tell me it's not a tape labeled 'Michael killing some poor undergrad' or anything like that," Ned said, standing up.

Nancy turned to look at Ned, blush slowly creeping over her cheeks. "No. But I'd almost rather have seen that."

Ned whistled as he caught sight of the tapes. "Oh wow. Is that..."

Nancy nodded. "I've never seen so many in one place."

He reached down and tilted one so he could read the label better. "Oh. Man. You've never been upstairs here, have you."

Nancy shook her head. "No. Why?"

"No reason." Ned dropped the tape back into the drawer, then scrubbed his palm on his pants. "I'm sure there are some... normal videos somewhere in here."

After they had found an acceptable videotape, Nancy joined Ned on the couch and started to take off her boots, then paused. "Is it all right if I get comfortable here? When do we have to leave?"

Ned shrugged. "Whenever."

"When were you planning on leaving?"

He kept his gaze carefully trained on the television. "Sometime tomorrow."

"Oh." Nancy looked down at her boot again, fussed with it until her pulse stopped pounding in her ears. "So I'm going to leave you stranded here?"

"If you're going to leave."

Nancy's eyebrow rose. "Oh?"

Ned shrugged. "You don't have to. There's plenty of room here."

"Well..." Nancy tugged her boot back on. "In that case, I'm gonna go grab my suitcase real quick...?"

"That's fine," Ned said, turning to look at her finally. She thought she could read the tension in his face, and when he reached out for her hand and kissed it, she knew she could.

"I'll be right back," she said, trailing her fingertips down his cheek, loathe to break his gaze.

Nancy's mouth was suddenly dry as she put her overnight bag down beside her in the downstairs bathroom. If she had read him wrong, then she'd very well be sleeping in Brook's twin bed tonight. If not, then...

She took out the plastic bag and withdrew the gown, price tags still hanging on it. She cut those off and tugged off her boots and jeans and stood, considering, still in her sweater.

She could hedge her bets and walk out in her flannel long-sleeved-with-pants set. Or she could take a risk, possibly tick him off, by walking out wearing the silk gown.

On an impulse she opened the bathroom door and called for Ned.

"Just a sec," he called back, and in a moment he was standing there, trying to hide the fact that he was staring at the hem of her sweater, which barely covered her underwear.

"Which one should I wear?" she asked him, her pulse pounding in her ears, and gestured at her choices.

Ned stepped into the room behind her and put his arms around her. She could feel his breath against her skin, and as he pulled her back so that she was resting against his chest, she sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, what was the question?" he murmured.

"I know what you said," she murmured. "I know we're not supposed to do anything..." She gasped sharply as his hands slipped under her sweater to rest on her bare abdomen, and tried to focus on anything other than his touch. "Um. I'm sorry. What?"

He lowered his head to her shoulder and breathed in her perfume. "You were saying something about not doing anything." He kissed the point where her neck met her shoulder.

"Yeah. Yeah. You said we shouldn't do anything because of what happened last time," she whispered, her voice trailing off into nothingness as his body swayed with hers. Every time his fingertips moved the tiniest inch, it was that harder for her to concentrate on coherent thought or speech.

Finally, after a silence punctuated only by her gasps, Ned shrugged. "Wear whatever you want," he said. Then he leaned in and placed his lips against her ear. "Or don't wear anything at all," he murmured softly, his hands sliding to her sides. Then he stepped away from her and left the room, and when Nancy slowly opened her eyes her own lone image greeted her in the mirror, her face warmed at his touch.

She dragged her sweater off and stood in her underwear, still trying to catch her breath. For a moment she thought about calling his bluff, walking out naked and watching his expression. At the last second her resolve failed and she pulled the nightgown over her head, tossed her discarded clothes into her bag, and left it at the foot of the stairs.

Ned had been building a fire in the hearth during her sartorial crisis, and he was bathed in its glow as she took him in. He looked up at her, and gave a mock-disappointed finger snap at seeing her in the gown.

"Oh, come on," Nancy murmured, joining him and pulling the blanket over her bare legs. "What would you have done if I had?"

"What do you think?" he responded, smiling.

She settled against him, her skin humming at his closeness. They drank a bottle of wine together, watching the movie, making comments and laughing with each other. Gradually Nancy felt herself relax. When the movie ended they flipped through channels and settled on another movie they had seen before, and Nancy slumped against his side, sighing happily.

"You tired?" he asked, his thumb stroking her bare shoulder.

Nancy shook her head and snuggled deeper into the blanket. "Just happy."

"Good," he said, his voice low. He kissed the top of her head.

\--

Ned was in the bathroom brushing his teeth when Nancy idly opened the closet door. "Wow," she said, in such a tone that Ned came out of the bathroom, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth, and walked over to her.

"That's a..."

"Yeah," Ned cut her off.

She turned to look at him, one hand propped on her hip. "I can't help but think that there was a particular reason you brought me here tonight."

Ned walked over to the bathroom sink to wash out his mouth, then wiped it with the back of his hand and called to her, "Why, to show you a good time?"

"A very specific kind of time, at least," Nancy said, her eyes wandering over some other items in the closet. "Except I don't think we've ever discussed my feelings on bondage."

Ned started coughing violently, leaning against the doorway of the bathroom to recover himself. "Swallowed wrong," he explained as she shot him an amused glance.

Nancy closed the door of the closet and leaned against the door. "I can think of a few ways we could amuse ourselves," she murmured. "Even without toys."

Ned flipped off the light in the bathroom. "Oh?"

Nancy smiled, her face dimly illuminated by the lights around the frozen lake, as she slid forward, the soles of her bare feet smooth on the carpet. "A few," she repeated.

Ned reached down and pulled off his shirt, tossed it to the floor. "I'm intrigued."

She laughed. "That's my line."

"Well..." He reached down and twined his fingers between hers. "Tell me more, Detective."

She put her arm up around his shoulders and swayed with him, resting her chin on his shoulder. "Thanks," she murmured.

"For what?"

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I... it hurts to be sleeping apart from you. Like you don't... like you don't want me anymore."

He slipped his fingers over her cheek as they turned. "You know that's not true."

She smiled weakly. "You give me a little peck on the cheek and we go sleep in separate beds."

"Because I know that if you and I sleep together that it will be way too hard for me to stop," he whispered, tracing her cheek with his lips. "Because last time, don't you remember how close I was to being inside you..."

Nancy closed her eyes. "Yes," she murmured, her voice low.

He kissed her, then pulled back. "The roses are for you," he whispered.

She opened her eyes and saw the vase full of red roses standing on the dresser, and she led him by their entwined hands as she walked over to touch them. "They're gorgeous," she said.

Ned noticed the box standing just behind the vase and tried to slide it out of Nancy's sight, but she grabbed it and looked at the note taped to the front. "Magnum sized for the Big Nick," she read aloud, then showed it to Ned. "Know anything about this?"

He grabbed it and tossed it back onto the dresser. "It's a running joke in the frat. And I hate that nickname."

"It's suitable," she said, running a finger down his chest, then looking up to meet his eyes.

She traced her thumb over the side of his hand, then tilted her head back as he kissed her, the taste of wine still mingling in their mouths. "It's..." she trailed off as he kissed her again. "It's simple, actually," she finally managed.

"What is?" Ned asked, trailing kisses down her neck, putting his arms around her to hold her close to him. "It's late and we're drunk and..."

"And what?" she murmured, her eyes closed.

His mouth closed over hers again, and she made a startled murmur against his mouth as he gathered her gown in his hands and pulled it up, tugging it over her head when they broke apart.

"I love you," he whispered.

Nancy dragged a hand through her hair and closed her eyes, leaned into his embrace. "I love you too," she replied. Then she pulled back and blinked a few times before finding his eyes. "But..."

"But what?" he asked, letting his palms slide down her bare back, to her panties.

She tilted her head back and moaned. "Tell me the sheets are clean."

Once she was in bed, Ned smiled down at her. "Clean sheets," he affirmed.

Nancy reached for his hand. "Sleep here tonight."

He shook his head, glancing at the door. "I'll be on the couch, okay?"

"Ned, please," she whispered. "I don't want to sleep in here alone tonight."

"Nan," he whispered, trailing his fingers over her cheek. She kissed his fingertip. "Please don't do this."

He watched her expression sharpen to determined, and she sat up. "I don't normally do this," she said, her skin glowing as she kicked back the covers and folded her legs over the side. He drank in the sight of her bare skin as she leaned over and picked up her discarded nightgown. His view was cut short as she pulled the gown back over her head.

"You didn't even ask," she said, pouting, but her eyes were sparkling. "Now you have to. This always worked before."

He traced the drape of her gown with his gaze, his mouth dry. "Promise me."

"Promise you what?" she asked, leaning back, prone and gazing up at him from the mattress.

"That you won't do a damn thing I ask you to do," he said, gazing down at her.

"We'll be saints," she whispered.

\--

His footsteps sounded on the stairs the next morning. Nancy wiped her mouth, licking her freshly brushed teeth, and jumped back into bed just before Ned entered the bedroom, a tray in his hands.

"Bacon, eggs, toast, coffee," he said, putting the tray on her lap with a flourish. "Am I a great short-order cook or what."

Nancy took in the spread and looked up at him, eyes sparkling. "Even with a rose."

"The weekend's not over," he pointed out, crawling back under the covers from the chill. "Go ahead."

She took a bite of the eggs and smiled at him. "This is perfect," she said gently.

He snatched a slice of bacon from her plate and took a bite. "Definitely."

"Didn't you eat?"

He shrugged. "I know how you eat in the morning. That's why I made plenty for you. Give me a bite of eggs."

She stabbed a bite and fed it to him. "I know the way you eat, too," she teased him. "And I'm gonna need twice as much to make you happy."

"I'll be fine," he said, leaning over to kiss her ear. "I'm pretty happy right now."

She took a sip of coffee and closed her eyes. "I'm set now," she said. "Leave me a slice of toast and I'll be your slave forever."

"I like that bargain," he said, taking the tray off her lap and placing it over his.

"It's so romantic to watch you eat my breakfast," she teased him, taking another sip.

"It's so romantic that you let me," he said, spearing a bite of eggs with a slice of bacon. "Definitely a promising beginning for the rest of our lives."

Nancy laughed. "Nice."

She finished her cup of coffee and crawled back under the covers, the comforter all the way up to her nose, while Ned finished her breakfast. He put the tray on the floor and looked at her.

"You leave me some toast, handsome?" Nancy asked without opening her eyes.

He crawled on top of her and lowered his face until his forehead was against hers. "Yup," he said.

Her blue eyes opened and met his brown ones. "Hey," she murmured.

"Give me some coffee," he growled to her, smiling.

She reached over the comforter and rubbed her belly. "It's all in here," she replied.

He sealed his mouth over hers and dipped his tongue inside her mouth, sliding over hers, tasting the coffee. She murmured against his lips and slid her hands up to run through his hair, and he pulled back. He kicked under the covers and gathered her gown in his hands again, pulling it up as he planted kisses down her throat, down the line of her torso, until he reached her belly button. She arched her spine, her breath shallow, her eyes closed.

"You said something about being my slave," he murmured into her skin.

"We're not drunk anymore," she breathed.

He hooked a finger around the side of her panties and she drew a breath sharply, her hand moving over the sheet.

"Ned..."

She felt his breath, warm through the silk, and bent her knees, opened her legs.

"Nan," he whispered as he pulled back to look at her. She lifted her torso off the mattress a few inches and pulled her nightgown off, tossed it over the side of the bed. Their eyes met, and he saw the quickness of her pulse in the slight movement of her breast.

"I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you too," he replied, stroking her hair back from her face as he kissed her. When he trailed his lips down to her neck again, she tilted her head back, his fingers tracing vague circles over the skin of her hip.

"Nan," he whispered.

"Shh," she responded, her mouth falling open.

Just then her cell phone rang from the bedside table. They groaned simultaneously and Ned rolled off her. Nancy pulled the sheet up, reaching for the phone. "Hey Bess," she said.

Ned looked over at the alarm clock and rubbed his hand over his face.

"So you'll be here in about an hour," Nancy replied, glancing over at the alarm clock. "Yeah, I'm with Ned, we just had breakfast..."

Ned grinned.

Nancy chuckled. "Yeah, I can have a little brunch with you. That's fine. Meet me over at Theta Pi, okay? Yeah..."

Nancy clicked off the phone and turned to Ned. "I have to go to class," he said.

She reached for her nightgown and tugged it back over her head. "Okay," she replied. "Got the pledges coming back by to make this place sparkle?"

Ned shrugged and launched himself up to sitting. "Mike said it was mine for the weekend. He doesn't come by here that much anyway... or at least, I didn't think he did."

Nancy chuckled. "Looks like he might spend a lot more time here than you'd think."

"I'll meet you for a late lunch at the student center, okay? Say one?"

Nancy nodded and accepted the kiss Ned bent down to give her. He pulled back and Nancy grabbed his hand.

"Hey," she said, then closed her mouth.

"What?"

"Would you have skipped class if..."

Ned grinned. "What do you think?"

\--

Nancy was running a comb through her wet hair when Bess elbowed her way into the room, lugging two enormous duffel bags. "Hey Nan," she greeted her friend, and shifted a bag off her shoulder onto the twin bed.

Nancy smiled. "Give me ten minutes and I'll be ready, I swear."

Bess gazed at Nancy with a speculative eye. "So you went to breakfast with Ned and _then_ took a shower? What, did you two health freaks go jogging or something?" Bess chuckled.

Just then Brook knocked on their door. "Hey," she said. "Just wanted to say hi, I'm on my way to class. Glad to see you two up here for Valentine's." Her eyes sparkled. "Interested in doing charity valentines again?"

Nancy and Bess exchanged glances. "Sure," they chorused.

"Tell Ned he can spend all that money he didn't spend on you for dinner last night, on yours. I'm glad he told me that you might not be coming in last night, else I would have gotten worried some criminal had tapped you on the head and dragged you into the bushes." Brook smiled. "See you later, guys!"

Bess stared at Nancy, open-mouthed. Nancy was standing stock-still, her hand still dragging a comb through her wet hair.

"So you and Ned had a little-- sleepover last night?"

Nancy couldn't stop the small smile from curling her lips, or the blush that crept up her cheeks. "Yeah..."

Bess flopped down on the bed and hugged the pillow. "Did you wear that nightie?"

"Oh stop it," Nancy said, but she couldn't stop smiling. "Yeah."

Bess giggled. "Wow. So he really was dying for it, wasn't he."

Nancy reached over and plugged in her hair dryer. "We were good last night."

Bess snickered. "_He_ may have been good last night. With that nightie, especially."

Nancy shot Bess a sideways glance. "Last night. This morning..."

Bess raised an eyebrow. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Breakfast in bed."

"You've got all the luck," Bess moaned.

\--

"Bess, come _on_!"

Nancy gestured impatiently as Bess held up two bags of candy. "Which one?"

"I don't care! Let's go!"

Bess darted a glance between the two bags, then tossed one back onto the display. "All right. But breakfast was hours ago, Nan, and I can use the leftovers on my Valentine."

"What are you making?" Nancy asked, glancing over the wide assortment of craft supplies they had tossed into the cart.

Bess shrugged and handed her money over to the cashier. "Haven't decided yet."

After they left the drugstore, Nancy reached into the bag of candy Bess had selected and shifted the Mustang into gear. "Ned's meeting us in fifteen minutes at the student center."

Bess chuckled. "Maybe I should let you two eat alone."

Nancy caught their reflection in the plate glass front of a toy store. "Hang on," she said, her car screeching to a halt. "I'll be right back."

Twenty minutes later Nancy and Bess found Ned already seated at a table, taking the first bite of his lunch. "Hey Bess," Ned stood and greeted her. "Sorry, I was famished."

"It's all right," Nancy said. "Brook told us Theta Pi is doing the charity valentines again this year, so Bess and I were out shopping for ours."

"You gonna drop me a hint, Drew?"

Bess draped her coat over a chair to claim it and nodded at the lunch line. Nancy gestured for her to go ahead.

"No hint," Nancy said, grinning at him. "But I think you'll figure it out."

Ned darted a dramatic glance around, then leaned over conspiratorially and said "Is it going to be that little silk thing you wore last night?"

Nancy punched him on the arm. "Were you so sure I was going to stay last night that you told Brook not to wait up for me?"

Ned winced. "I don't think those were my exact words," he replied. "I might have said something about having a romantic evening planned..."

Nancy laughed. "It's all right," she said. "But now I understand why you were acting weird."

Bess returned to their table with a tray of food and a can of diet soda. "I notice you didn't try the fish sticks," she commented to Ned. "Is there something you know that I don't?"

Nancy left the table to serve her own tray. As she walked away, with Ned's attention still centered on Bess, he reached out to clasp her hand, then let them slip apart. Nancy smiled.

\--

"We can't wear the same dress."

Nancy and Bess were sitting down in the common area with a few other Theta Pis who weren't upstairs planning their ensembles. Nancy had found a blue remote-controlled car in the toy store and had wedged a Barbie wearing a trenchcoat inside.

Bess took another handful of candy, then looked enviously at Nancy's valentine. "You have the best ideas," she said.

"I'm sure you'll come up with something," Nancy said, cutting out another red construction-paper heart to tape onto the car.

She saw a sudden, crafty gleam in her friend's eye. "You're right," she said.

Mindy was sitting across the table, painting characters onto an elaborate paper fan. "Are you sure you two aren't related?" she asked. "You could wear the same dress and go as twins to the dance."

Nancy and Bess exchanged glances, then dissolved into laughter. "You'd be surprised," Nancy said, recovering first. "If we were related I'd probably look nothing like her. George sure doesn't."

Bess took a sip of soda. "Look," she said. "You look great in the dress. You wear it. I'll wear the other one I brought along. Or I'll head over to the mall and find something."

Kristin glanced at her watch. "Bess, you have like five hours!"

"Maybe I should get a move on," she said. She stood up and stretched her legs. "Do you want me to help you set your hair before I go?"

Nancy waved her hand. "Nah," she said. "I'm not worried, you can do it when you get back. I ran into Dean Jarvis and he wants to see me, so I'll do that while you're gone."

"Anything bad?" Bess looked concerned.

"I hope not," Nancy said.

\--

Dean Jarvis shook Nancy's hand and gestured for her to sit down. The building was nearly silent around them. Classes had been dismissed for the day and students were getting ready for the dance.

"You're at Wilder now, and yet you're still finding things here to occupy your time," Jarvis said, a gleam in his eye. "Journalism?"

Nancy nodded. "It seemed like a good fit," she said.

"And you've snatched up one of the most eligible bachelors on campus," he noted, nodding at the diamond gleaming on her finger.

"He'll be escorting me to the dance tonight," Nancy replied. "What's on your mind, Dean Jarvis?"

The dean interlaced his fingers and leaned back. "Cassie," he replied.

Nancy sat up in her chair, instantly alert. "Have the police found any more leads?"

Dean Jarvis shook his head. "You're investigating, aren't you."

Nancy nodded. "I haven't gotten very far," she said. "Between schoolwork and my work on the _Wilder Times_ and..."

Dean Jarvis nodded. "Trust me, I understand. And I'd never want to keep you from your studies."

"She's okay, isn't she?" Nancy asked.

He shuffled through a few papers on his desk and found the one he was looking for. "Depends," he said. "She's a scholarship student, so I tried to keep an eye on her, even before-- this-- happened." He shrugged. "She was making very good grades before. Now, I'm afraid."

"She's not making good grades anymore?"

"Her attendance record is erratic. I've talked to her teachers and they say her performance is slipping. I understand that..." Jarvis peered at her from beneath his bushy eyebrows. "You may not want to volunteer this, but she's been a victim of assault before...?"

Nancy nodded. "The police have no record, but I heard it from her, and it's not that unusual for a woman to leave an assault like that unreported."

Dean Jarvis sighed and ran his hand over his head. "Don't I know it," he said. "Nancy, does her behavior suggest anything to you?"

Nancy shrugged. "You might not want to volunteer this, either, but do you know if she's taken advantage of any of the counseling offered through the university?"

The dean shook his head. "I don't think she has, but that doesn't mean she didn't have a therapist before she came here, someone in private practice not affiliated with the school."

Nancy crossed her legs. "Two things. She's not over it, and I wouldn't expect her to be over it, this fast, especially not without counseling." Nancy looked down. "Or else the person who attacked her is here. Which would explain her poor attendance. Maybe he's in one of her classes."

Dean Jarvis looked down at the list of classes she was taking. "It's possible," he said. "I know you're here to be with Ned, but Nancy, if it's possible, could you just have a conversation with her? See if maybe we're on the right track? I think Cassie could really do well here if we could get to the bottom of this."

Nancy reached out and shook his hand. "All right," she said. "I wish I could do more for you."

Dean Jarvis shrugged. "I wish I could do more for her," he said.

\--

When Mindy answered her door, Nancy was taken aback. Mindy's hair was in curlers, her makeup half-applied. Nancy even suspected false eyelashes, but refrained from comment. Instead she held up the campus directory Mindy had let her borrow.

"Any luck?"

Nancy shook her head, and Mindy stood back to let her in. The room was an explosion of brocaded silk and strewn cosmetics. "I think she's out," Nancy said. "I'm not surprised, I didn't really expect to find her so close to time for the dance..." Nancy trailed off as she took in the room.

Mindy leaned over her vanity mirror and dabbed at her lips with some gloss. "You can borrow it again later, if you need," Mindy said. "I think Brook's is somewhere propping up an uneven table."

Nancy laughed. "Do you know Cassie?" she asked.

Mindy considered for a minute. "I think she might have been in one of my lab sections," she finally said. "But I'm really not sure. Doug comes to the Omega Chi frat parties, and I've seen him there, so I know what Cassie looks like."

Nancy leaned against Mindy's relatively uncluttered desk. "Maybe she'll be at the party tonight, then, if she comes to the Omega Chi mixers."

Mindy started looking through a cosmetics bag. "To be honest," she said, tossing its contents onto her covered bed, "I remember hearing about her being attacked. I don't think she's been out that much since then."

"Do you know anyone who knows her well?"

Mindy shrugged. "I say hi to Doug sometimes, but that's not really the same."

"Thanks," Nancy said, then backed out of her room.

Bess clutched dramatically at the unfastened dress hanging from her frame as Nancy opened the door of their shared room. "Oh, it's you," she said, then turned. "Zip me up?"

"It's gorgeous," Nancy said, obliging her friend. Once she had hooked the seam at the top, Bess turned around and curtsied. Her dress was copper, strapless, and hugged her all the way down to the fishtail train. She had paired the outfit with matching sandals, wrapped up her ankles.

"Thanks," Bess said, taking one last curler out of her hair and fluffing it with her fingers. "Aren't you going to get ready soon?"

Nancy pulled her sweater over her head and reached into the closet for her gown. "Yeah, I guess so," she said, mock-grudgingly. "Are the curlers plugged in?"

Bess ran her hand over the clear plastic dome. "They're ready," she said.

An hour later Nancy and Bess were waiting downstairs. Bess had claimed a place on the window seat, watching for her date to arrive, while Nancy paced the area between the couch and wall.

"Ned will get here," Kristin reassured her, misunderstanding her nervousness. "Especially with that rock on your finger. It's beautiful."

Nancy stopped pacing and smiled, lifted her hand so both she and Kristen could get a better look. "Thanks," she said. "It was his great-grandmother's."

A few of the other sisters were still waiting for their dates, and gathered around them, looking at Nancy's ring. "You're so lucky," one of them moaned.

Nancy smiled and checked her watch. "Yeah, but he won't be if he doesn't get here soon."

"You're gonna knock his socks off, Nan," Bess called, smiling. "We have good taste."

Nancy and Bess had both fallen in love with an ice-blue ballgown, made of gleaming metallic satin that flowed into an ankle-length skirt. Its overlay was a pale silver that shone when Nancy moved.

"Socks officially knocked off," Ned called from the doorway. He was holding a single white rose in his hand, and his eyes melted as she gazed into them. With an effort he broke their spell and turned to Bess. "Parker's right behind..."

"Right here," Parker said, stopping as he found Bess. A smile curved over his lips, and Nancy thought he looked adorable, standing considerably shorter than her six-foot-two and incredibly handsome fiancé.

Nancy walked over to Ned and accepted the rose in his hand, shivering slightly as their fingers brushed together. "Should I go put this in some water?"

"Well, I was kinda hoping you could help me out with a boutonniere," he joked, then smiled down at her. "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks," she replied softly, hooking her arm through his. "You don't look so bad yourself, Nickerson." Together they looked over at Parker, who was standing next to Bess, clearly overawed.

Ned leaned over and placed his mouth near Nancy's ear. "Maybe we should leave those two alone," he said.

"I think you have ulterior motives," she accused him, smiling, and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Let's go dance."

\--

"Dance card?" asked one of the figures standing at the doorway of the gym. He was dressed as a gaudy Cupid, and probably freezing.

Nancy took pity on him and accepted the red heart-shaped card and attached pencil, strung so she could wear them on her wrist. "I think someone went a little overboard," she commented to Ned as they walked through a sudden flood of theme-colored balloons.

"That's why I couldn't get you a corsage," he said, pointing at the card now hanging from her slender wrist. "Though I can take care of that right now."

Jerry McEntee appeared at Nancy's elbow and gestured to her card. "Mind if I...?"

Nancy smiled, and it stretched into a grin as she heard Ned's mock-angry growl. "You'll pay for that later, Jerry."

"Oh, but it will be worth it," he said, winking theatrically at Nancy. "See you for the fourth dance, Nan."

"And who is this divine creature?" a dark-skinned guy asked as he walked up to them. His suit was immaculate and his hair shone.

Ned sighed dramatically. "Nan, this is Ray. Ray, this is my fiancée, Nancy," he said.

"Hi Ray," Nancy said, shaking his proffered hand. He gazed directly into her eyes and gave her a toothy grin, and Nancy smiled back.

"Ned does not know how to pronounce my name," Ray responded. "Maybe I can teach you, if you would give me the honor of a dance...?"

Ned tapped his foot as Ray signed his name on Nancy's card. "All right, but that's it," he said, patting Ray on the back. As Ray accosted another couple, Ned took her arm and led her through the crowd, to the tables set up near the stage.

"Who's Ray? A new pledge?"

Ned shook his head and pulled back a chair for her. "He's a flirt," he responded. "An exchange student from India. As part of my community service I was basically his big brother for a while. He's not a bad guy, but he never turns off the charm." Ned shook his head and chuckled.

Nancy spotted Ray weaving among couples, bestowing glowing looks on the girls, and laughed. "No, he doesn't, does he."

Ned spotted Bess and Parker and waved them over. Bess had taken the baby's breath out of Parker's more elaborate bouquet and artfully tangled a few sprigs in her hair. A matching dance card dangled from her wrist. "You must have a lot of single guys in Omega Chi," she commented, sitting down in the chair Parker pulled out for her. "My dance card is nearly full and I've been here five minutes."

"No wonder the girls on the committee thought it was a good idea, eh, Ned?" Parker asked, sitting down at the table.

Nancy looked back and forth between the guys. "Are you two on the committee?"

Ned nodded. "Yeah, but I'm also on clean-up. That's why last night was very romantic, and tonight..."

"Tonight, while Ned is regretting being assigned to stay here, you have the honor of being escorted, by me, to the Omega Chi Valentine's Mixer," Parker announced, glancing between the two girls, a wide grin on his face. "Speaking of, Nan, hand me your card, since I'm barely going to see my date at all tonight..."

Ned threw his hands up in the air and reached for Bess's as well. "I thought this was a Valentine's dance. How is this supposed to be romantic?"

Bess studied the card once Ned handed it back to her. "Why is there a gold star next to 10?"

Parker slumped in his chair. "That means you get to dance with a football player for the tenth dance."

"Really?" Bess's face lit up.

"Yeah, random drawing. Gold isn't me, though," Ned said. "Parker, did you take Nancy's tenth?"

"Yeah. I'll keep her straight, man," Parker said, extending his fist so Ned could knock his against it.

"Okay, guys, that's cute and everything, but where's the snack table?" Nancy asked.

Bess laughed. "That's my line, Nan. I'll come with you."

"Bring us back some punch," Ned called.

Nancy laughed at him over her shoulder. "This dress may be big but I don't keep a spare pair of arms in it," she called back.

"Dance cards," Bess said, gazing down at the heart attached to her wrist. "Never had one of these before."

"I hope it's not all night."

Bess shook her head. "I heard a cheerleader talking about it. It's just for specific dances. Once the band gets out here and starts playing, they'll announce when a numbered dance is coming up."

Nancy took a heart-shaped cookie as big as her palm and placed it on her plate. "That's good," she said. "If Ned's doing clean-up here tonight..." She gestured around them, at the elaborate decorations festooned around the gym, the balloons and soft lighting. "I don't see having any time alone with him until tomorrow."

"I'll see what I can do," Bess said, ladling herself some punch.

Ned found some of the Theta Pi sisters and filled their dance cards for when he would be away from Nancy, so after Ray had led her in an exuberant tango, Nancy stumbled away still beaming and found Ned just separating from Trish.

"I need some air," she laughed up at him.

"All right," he said, smiling at her. He grabbed some punch on the way and led her out to the breezeway of the gym, which was frigid from the air seeping in.

Nancy took a sip of the punch and gazed up into Ned's eyes. "Hey," she said softly.

"Hey," he replied.

"I haven't been alone with you all day," she said.

"I know." He laced his fingers between hers. "I don't really expect cleaning up to take too long, so maybe we can be-- alone-- at the dance back at the frat house."

Nancy gestured at the decorations again. "How? I mean, you may be fast, but..."

"At some things," he intoned, then leaned down and caught her mouth with his. Her eyelids fluttered down and she felt her heart rise at his kiss. "The committee's really big," he murmured, his face still close to hers. "Besides, it'll give you time to slip into something more comfortable."

She closed her eyes and emitted a low chuckle. "If this is a frat party where the dress code is lingerie..."

He kissed her temple and pulled back. "Not as far as I'm concerned."

She took a slow breath and a sip of her punch, waiting for her pulse to return to somewhere near normal. "Are you staying at Michael's tonight?"

Ned drained the rest of his punch and tossed the cup into a nearby trashcan. Just then they heard the next numbered song announced over the loudspeaker. "Football player dance," Ned said softly. "I have to go up to the stage."

She reached out and squeezed his hand before releasing it. "Okay," she replied quietly.

Nancy returned to the floor and watched as the lead singer of the band stumbled through an explanation of the colored stars, and Parker found her as Ned's color was called.

When Nancy saw the girl who jumped up to claim her fiancé, she felt warmth rise to her cheeks. "I'd bet my Mustang that was no accident," she said, her fist clenching as Denise took Ned's arm and smiled up at him.

Parker shrugged. "Oh, the cheerleader," he said dismissively.

"Don't you know who-- oh, never mind," Nancy said, putting her arms around Parker's neck as the band began the song. "Just do me a favor and don't swing me so I'm facing them."

"No problem," Parker said, smiling.

"Aren't you curious?"

Parker laughed. "I've had enough girlfriends to know when to be curious, and when not."

Nancy shrugged. "He is my fiancé," she said, reassuringly, then smacked Parker lightly as she watched him try to hold back his answering laughter.

"You and Ned are two of the most jealous people I've ever met," Parker said. "In a funny way, not in a scary way. It'll be good when you two get hitched and stop freaking out whenever a member of the same sex enters the room."

"I don't freak out now," Nancy protested. She fought the urge to glance over her shoulder. "It's just... before I went to Wilder and we broke up, I thought he was in love with her."

Parker shrugged. "As people go, she's not a bad one to fall in love with," he commented, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Her dad's loaded, she's a hottie, really athletic..."

Nancy shook her head at his teasing and turned them slightly so she could catch a glimpse of the couple. Ned was saying something to Denise, but when Nancy's gaze fell on him, he returned it with a look that made her knees weak.

"You okay?" Parker asked.

Nancy smiled slightly. "Now I am," she said.

As the next song began, Ned joined them, then a flushed and happy Bess. "Randy Miller is such a--" she squealed, then stopped, noticing Parker. "A darn nice guy," she finished lamely.

Nancy laughed, leaning back against the solid warmth of Ned's chest as he took her hand. "Good for you, Marvin."

"Could I tempt you with some cinnamon hearts?" Parker asked, shooting Bess a winning grin.

"Anytime," she said, slipping her arm into his.

\--

Nancy checked her watch again. Five past midnight.

"I'm going to be partied out by the time this weekend's over," Bess called to her from the conga line. "Get over here, Drew, get partied out with me." She took a sip from her tumbler, keeping her other hand on the swaying waist of the guy in front of her.

"I didn't think it was possible for you to get partied out, Bess," Nancy called back. She smoothed a hand over her black leather miniskirt. Bess's "more comfortable" clothes had turned out to be a flapper dress covered in a thousand swaying tassels that caught the light with her movements. She had replaced the baby's breath in her hair with a red feather to match her dress.

"Go get a drink! Loosen up!" Bess giggled at something Parker whispered into her ear. "Plus, Parker's your escort right now, and he says so, too."

"Well, if Parker says it," Nancy said, grinning. She stepped away from the window seat, leaving two amorous couples to their own devices, and slipped into the kitchen.

Mike and Jan were at the table, her hands in his. The bartender of the evening was mixing a pitcher of margaritas, but the couple appeared unperturbed by the bass music throbbing through the walls and the excited hum of conversation.

From a hundred parties she'd attended at Omega Chi, Nancy knew where the brothers kept the good booze hidden, and she mixed herself a drink heavier on the coke than the liquor. As she stirred it with a neon straw she stayed bent over the counter, considering whether she should say anything to Mike.

"Hey," Jan called, making her decision for her.

Nancy took a large swallow of her drink. "Hey," she replied. "The dance was great."

"Did you two have a good time last night?" Jan's eyes were sparkling.

Nancy colored slightly. "Does everyone know about that?" she asked, leaning against one of the chairs at the table. "Yeah, we had a good time last night, but," she dropped her voice, "I think your president is a bit on the freaky side."

Mike laughed. "Ahh. First time staying in the presidential suite, eh."

Nancy looked back and forth between them. "I take it you two have."

Now it was Jan's turn to color slightly. "Yeah," she admitted. "Michael's studying for his postgraduate work, and plus, it's not like that place isn't gonna be Ned's next year..."

"Ned's running for Omega Chi president next year?"

Mike nodded. "Yeah," he said, then took a sip of his drink. "He hasn't officially announced it or anything, but once he does, there won't be any competition for it."

"Oh," Nancy said, then took a sip of her drink.

The controlled chaos of the crowd was a bit louder for a moment, and then Nancy felt a pair of arms circle her waist. "Hey," Ned murmured into her hair. He extended a fist to Mike, who returned it. "Hey Jan," he said. "You guys tired out from the dance?"

"We were just taking a breather," Jan replied, pushing back her chair.

Nancy was feeling the warmth of the alcohol expand in her chest as Ned reached down and plucked her drink from her unresisting fingers. He sniffed it, then took a sip. "Nah, I need something a little stronger than that," he commented, putting it on the table and heading to the cabinet as Mike and Jan headed back into the throng.

Nancy tossed back the remainder of her drink and extended her glass to Ned, who gave her a level glance before mixing her another. "You cool?" he asked.

"As ice," she replied, her lips curving up in a smile.

\--

"She's gonna be okay."

"Yeah, I know."

"Are you going to?"

"We're going to the café down the block. You've got my number, right? In case she gets rowdy and needs to be escorted from the premises."

"I'm sure I could handle that."

"See you tomorrow for breakfast, if she's up for it."

Nancy cracked her eyelids, then moaned and shifted onto her side. Immediately she regretted the decision. "Bess?" she called out, weakly.

The light gave way to cooler darkness, and Nancy managed a small appreciative smile. Then the mattress shifted a little and she heard Bess say, "You okay?"

"I would be if the room would stop spinning."

"Give me your hand-- drink some of this." Bess wrapped Nancy's limp fingers around a glass of water. Nancy tried to push herself up and the world lurched.

"Oh God."

She saw Bess dart a glance at Ned. "Ned's here," she said. "Do you want me to stay too?"

Nancy managed a sip of water, then grimaced. "I thought you said you were going out."

"Not if you want me to stay."

Nancy waved a hand. "Go," she said. "Just because I'm an idiot, doesn't mean you should... I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Where am I?"

Ned spoke up. "My room," he said.

By memory she found the bedside table and placed the glass on it. "Okay," she murmured. "I'm just gonna... I'll be asleep."

The mattress dipped again as Bess stood up. "I've got my cell phone, if you need anything."

"Okay," Nancy mumbled, burying her face against the pillow.

The remaining sliver of light from the hallway receded but did not vanish, as Bess left the room. She heard Ned clear his throat.

"I'm gonna go find someone to bunk with," he said.

Nancy rubbed a hand over her face and opened her eyes. "Why?"

She heard Ned chuckle. "Because you are drunk off your ass right now."

"How did I get here?"

"What's the last thing you remember?"

She thought for a minute, then pulled back the covers. She was still in her leather miniskirt, still had on the fishnet stockings, but her lacy black bra was revealed by the absence of her red sweater. "Um. Thinking it was really hot downstairs?" she volunteered in a stricken voice.

"I'll help you out," he said, sitting down next to her on the bed. "You climbed up on the bar and took your sweater off and then swung it around my neck and started dancing."

Nancy groaned and turned her face into the pillow again. "Then what?" she asked, muffled.

"Then I threw you over my shoulder and carried you up here, and by the time I put you in bed you were out cold."

"I am so sorry..."

"The guys liked it. Said it was better than that accidental wet t-shirt contest."

"So it was just my bra, right?"

Ned snickered. "Not that many people saw, Nan. Even though everyone who was here tonight, even the ones upstairs, are gonna say they saw it."

Nancy covered her face with her hands. "Are you mad at me?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It was kinda hot," he admitted. "But I wasn't very sober then either. I just thought a change of location would be a good idea, but you weren't quite up for that."

She reached for his hand. "Stay with me."

"I shouldn't," he said, but he didn't move.

"Please," she said. She sat up, grimacing, and peeled off her skirt and pantyhose.

He breathed her name, then reached for the glass of water he'd drawn her and took a long gulp.

"I bet I taste like alcohol," she grimaced.

He leaned over and caught her mouth with his, and she tangled her fingers in his hair. The cool air in the room made her shiver, and she crawled into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. He slipped his arms around her.

"No, you don't taste like alcohol," he managed, as they broke for air.

"Close the door," she breathed into his ear.

He lifted her with him and slammed her back into the door to close it, and she met his gaze with startled eyes. They leaned in together again and kissed as he locked the door, and when they parted again she leaned her head against the wood and watched him shake his head, look away from her.

"I'm taking advantage of you," he said.

"I'm taking advantage of you," she corrected him, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his. "Stripping in your frat house..."

"God, it was hot," he said, his breath mingling with hers. He tilted his face and planted a kiss against the corner of her jaw. "They all cheered when I carried you upstairs."

She tilted her head and kissed him again, sighing as he pressed her into the door. "Yeah," she whispered. "Take me to bed."

\--

"Feeling any better?" Parker was fighting to keep a straight face.

Nancy ordered a black coffee. "I'm feeling great, considering," she said, taking a sip of iced water in the meantime. "How are you doing?"

Bess shrugged. The pancake house was crowded for a Saturday morning, so she leaned in to talk to Nancy. "I didn't get a call from you last night."

"Ned took care of me." Nancy exchanged a look with her fiancé while Parker hooted with laughter.

"I'll bet he did. What, did the striptease continue?"

Bess punched Parker on the arm, while Nancy knitted her fingers together. "I got a little ahead of myself," she said. "And I'm sorry anyone saw that. Well, almost anyone."

"Thanks to you, ten underclassmen showed up at the door this morning asking to pledge."

Ned patted her shoulder. "Aww. Should have told them it was a one time only show."

After Bess had demolished an omelette as big as her plate and Nancy had forced down a piece of dry toast, the four of them separated, promising to meet at the valentine auction. Parker and Bess were talking about taking in some drama practice, but Nancy put her hand on Ned's arm and held him back.

"What is it, Nan?" he asked.

She looked up at him. "We need to talk."

"Good talk or bad talk?"

She shrugged. "Neither," she admitted. Then she glanced at her watch. "But after I try to find Cassie again. Don't you guys have practice soon?"

"Yeah," he said. "I can give you a ride back to Theta Pi and meet you later... is this so serious we can't talk about it over lunch?"

She smiled. "Even if it were I doubt that would kill your appetite," she teased him.

He drew her into his arms. "No," he said. "I think it could. But you're still wearing my ring so it can't be that bad." He kissed her forehead and pulled back. "We're okay, right?"

She nodded.

Despite the urgency, Nancy stood at the door of the sorority house, watching as Ned's taillights receded.

"Hey," Brook said when Nancy walked in. The brown-haired girl stuck a bookmark into her paperback and tossed her head. "I heard about how much fun you had at our brother house last night."

Nancy groaned and flopped down in the overstuffed recliner. "Where were you and Paul? I didn't see you two there. Or at the dance, I don't think."

Brook's gaze turned dreamy. "We did go to the dance for a little while. Paul took me to this cute little Italian restaurant, and, well, it was just a great night." She smiled.

"I'm glad."

Brook shot Nancy a mischievous glance, but her next words were innocent. "I have to finish up my valentine real quick," she said. "Yours is cute."

"Kristin let you see it?"

"I had to borrow some eyeliner from her," Brook explained. "Though I'm not quite sure what Ned will do with it after he wins it."

Nancy shrugged. "I know he'd like to play with the car."

Brook's smile widened. "Yeah," she said. "I'll catch you later."

"Can I just grab your campus directory real quick?"

Brook paused at the foot of the stairs. "There's one in the kitchen under the phone," she said. "It might even be mine."

\--

"Cassie, you don't have to do this."

"I'm not," Cassie shot back. She huddled into her leather jacket. "I'm doing fine."

"You're doing so fine that your grades are dropping."

Cassie looked down at her feet. "I just need time," she mumbled.

Nancy tucked a strand of red-gold hair behind her ear. "I understand," she said, then regretted the phrase at the look in Cassie's eyes. "Look, we're just concerned about you. And we want to help, but you won't let us."

"I'm getting help," Cassie protested. Her eyes were misty. "Don't you think Doug asks me about it all the time? I can just see it in his face. He wants to help, too. I've started back seeing the shrink. But... why won't you just let me handle this?"

Nancy forced herself to take a deep breath before responding. "Because you can't."

"You don't know what you're dealing with," Cassie replied, then turned on her heel and walked away.

\--

"They just built this," Ned said, gesturing at the concrete and glass patio at the back of the student center. Snowflakes were sliding down the glass, ending in transparent wet trails on the hard-packed powder. "Inhospitable weather patio." He put his tray down on a wooden bench, then gestured for her to join him.

"With skylights for the nice days?" she asked, gazing up.

He nodded. "That's the idea." He popped the tab on his soda and took a swig. "So what's up?"

She took a deep breath, then blurted out "Mike said you were running for Omega Chi president."

Ned finished his drink, then placed the can back on his tray. "Maybe," he said. "Nothing's final yet. I haven't made a decision." He chuckled. "A lot of the guys say I'm a shoo-in, and it might look good on my resume."

"Yeah, it might," she said, then fell quiet.

"It can't bug you that I was thinking about it."

She shrugged, then peered into his eyes, a hot anger rising into her throat. "Were you going to talk to me about it?"

"Of course," he said easily. "But I can count on one hand the number of times we've been together that I haven't been-- otherwise occupied."

"So let's talk about it."

Ned glanced up at the skylight, the snow gathered in the corners of the panes. "I have a feeling this isn't going to be talking."

"What does that mean?" Nancy pushed her food around on her plate, unable to bring herself to take a bite.

He reached over and touched her hand. "What are you doing next year, Nan?"

She stared into the whiteness beyond his shoulder. "Working on the newspaper. Planning our wedding. Studying, occasionally, I guess."

"What am I doing next year?"

"Playing sports, throwing frat parties, studying. Agreeing to whatever I decide about our wedding."

"There you go." He took a bite of his lunch.

She looked down. "Does what I think about it matter to you?"

"The wedding? Definitely. You're much better with color coordination than I am."

"Ned."

He sighed. "Did you honestly think I'd make a decision like that without your input?"

She shrugged. "I didn't ask you before I took on the job with the newspaper."

"And you didn't ask me before you started investigating mysteries, but you've been doing that since you learned how to talk. What you think is important to me, Nan. That ring wouldn't be on your finger if it weren't." He let his gaze rest on her face. "It's a year, Nan. Nine months. Then I'm graduated and someone else takes over."

She pouted slightly. "We're already so busy, I don't get to see you as often as I like..."

"Sometimes I think that's a good thing," he said. "Not having that many opportunities to tempt each other."

"But that's not the reason."

He shook his head. "No. It's not. I'd put up with the temptation. But I don't want to leave Emerson and you don't want to leave Wilder. We talked about this a long time ago, Nan, ages ago. We said we could survive it. For the most part we did."

"Except the year we wasted."

"It's done. It's forgotten."

"No, it's not." She took a long sip of her soda. Ned raised an eyebrow.

"As far as I'm concerned it is. We just went crazy a little while. Being a college freshman can do that. Remember how hard it was when I wasn't just over in Mapleton?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Are things easier now?"

She shifted the diamond so it sparkled in the weak sunlight. "Now they are."

He sighed. "Look, Nan, you are a gorgeous, independent, talented woman. You don't need me, not because you're pregnant or timid or dependent. If you need me, it's of your own free will. And I don't need you, not in any quantitative way, but... damn, it hurts to be away from you. It hurt to know you were seeing other people, worse than it did when we were still together and I had the security of knowing I was the one you'd come back to. I always knew I'd come back to you. I never doubted it."

"You never will," she said quietly.

"But you have to trust me."

"I do trust you."

He gestured broadly, and for the first time during their meal she saw a glint of real anger in his eyes. "Not if you could question whether I'd discuss my decision with you."

"That's not trust, that's-- just not knowing."

"Is that because in your place you wouldn't have considered it open for discussion?"

"I don't know."

"Yeah you do."

She shrugged impatiently. "I don't own you," she said.

"Then why were you angry?" he asked, his voice slow and dead level.

"I can't have it both ways," she mumbled. "I can't expect you to sit in your room and pine for me while I track down stories. You're not dependent on me; you said so. And I can't be dependent on you. Not now and maybe not ever."

"Maybe?" he laughed. "I don't own you and I don't want you dependent on me. That's not who you are."

"I'm still new at this," she reminded him. "I know you've been engaged before, but I never have."

He grinned. "To be fair, I'd have to be trying to kill you."

"You're not, right? Except with this food," she said, smiling slightly.

"Hey, it's not so bad," he returned. Then he reached for her hand again. "I know you and I'm not going to let your insecurities come between us."

"My insecurities?"

"I've been with you for years," he reminded her. He reached over and tapped her forehead lightly. "Tell me you're not thinking that I'm going to turn around one day and treat you the way you treated me a year ago. As payback."

"I thought you said that was all forgotten."

He nodded. "I've forgotten it. Have you?"

She shook her head. "No," she murmured.

"Am I the kind of person who would think that way?"

"I'm the kind of person who did," she said. "I am that person."

"You were," he corrected her. She lifted her hand at the wrist and he rested his fingertips against hers. "You were someone I barely recognized for a little while," he admitted.

"I didn't even recognize myself," she said, gazing down at their hands.

"Stop trying to make this about you, Drew," he said, smiling, emphasizing each word with a push of his fingers. "Stop trying to make this about payback and fairness and betrayal. We're settled up. All debts paid. We're even."

"We're even," she echoed him, faintly. Then she stared at him. "I don't want you being frat president. I don't want you having responsibility that will cut into our time together. I don't want you judging wet t-shirt contests and drinking until you're sick and being a model of modern debauchery to all the little freshmen. But, you will have access to that sweet apartment..."

"See?" he said, gesturing widely. "That's all you had to say."

\--

"Lot twelve," Brook called out.

The valentine auction was well underway at the Theta Pi house. Nancy had wandered over to the refreshment table for some more lemonade, and she caught a glimpse of Ned waiting in the crowd. He smiled at her.

When Nancy glanced back up, Bess was modeling the valentine. Nancy knew it was hers by the number. But it didn't look the same, and Bess had a gleam in her eye.

"We have here a remote controlled blue car with wedding Barbie and Ken inside, and a cute sign on the back that says "Just Married," and even some little coke cans dangling off the back. Who would like to begin the bidding on this valentine?" Brook asked.

Nancy clapped a hand over her mouth and directed her ice-blue glare at the stage. Bess was shaking with silent laughter.

"I'm going to kill you," Nancy hissed, but she was smiling.

Once Ned had won the valentine, he came up behind Nancy and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You were right, that wasn't too hard," he murmured into her ear.

Nancy closed her eyes. "Well, it was going to be a bit less obvious," she whispered. "I think Bess had something to do with it."

"That's why she looked like she was about to laugh," he commented. He kept one arm around her waist and took a sip of her lemonade. "Thanks for the car."

"I thought you'd like it."

"You can keep the dolls, though."

"Bess can," Nancy corrected darkly. "She bought them. No wonder."

He kissed her ear. "I have to go," he said. "Coach Burnett wanted to see me about something. I'll meet you back here for dinner, right?"

She nodded, resting her hands lightly over his arms before she released him. "I'll be here."

"You'd better," he teased her mildly. "If you see any furtive guys or figures in black, please leave them to Lieutenant Easterling. Just for today."

"If you insist," she called back, and blew him a kiss.

\--

"You sure you can handle them?" Bess asked, lugging the boots out of her closet.

"No," Nancy admitted, as she finished attaching the trim of her stocking to her garter belt. "Are they smooth enough to not pick my stockings?"

Bess ran her hand up the lining of the boots. "Yeah, you should be fine," she said. "I can't wait to see you try to dance in these."

Nancy laughed. "It's not like there's that much space to dance downstairs." She sat down on her bed and pulled the boots on. Her thigh-high stockings covered the exposed area above her knees and nearly seemed an afterthought.

"Black cashmere?"

Nancy nodded, and walked carefully over to her closet, where she found the sweaterdress and matching cardigan with the rhinestone clasp at the front. "Are you wearing yours?"

Bess shook her head and displayed a pleated denim miniskirt. "Good thing I brought my cowboy boots too," she said.

Nancy laughed. "Ever worn those on a horse?"

"You know I'm not interested in riding _horses_." Bess chuckled. As she pulled on her off-the-shoulder slit-sleeved hot pink top, she said, "Theta Pi is a dry house, right?"

"Yeah. We get to make our own fun tonight."

"That shouldn't be hard." Bess paused. "Would you freak out too much if I asked you... would you ask Ned if he'd lend me and Parker the key to the apartment?"

Nancy raised an eyebrow as she raked a hand through her hair, pulling it back to apply her makeup. "Things between you two moving that quick?"

"No, no," Bess reassured her. "But it has that giant TV. And, well, I don't want to give Parker the wrong idea. It's so hard to find somewhere neutral to be, you know?"

Nancy nodded. "Yeah. It is. But... yeah. I don't see why Ned wouldn't go for it."

"And if he's nervous, you two could come with us. Double date. We could order pizza."

Nancy lined her lips and smiled. "Sounds great, Bess. Pajama party."

"Just don't wear that nightie or I'm sure things will take a turn."

\--

Ned groaned. "Okay, that's it. I'm shooting the DJ if I hear the Electric Slide one more time."

Nancy was laughing at the sight of Bess doing some country line-danced inspired rendition of the dance. She herself was finding the heels on the living room carpet a bit much. Ned brought her another cup of punch and she took a grateful sip.

"You agree with me, don't you?"

Nancy grinned. "But if he hadn't, we wouldn't be able to see this," she said, pointing at Bess.

"You're right," Ned said. He reached for her hand. "Pajama party?"

She glanced over at him and nodded. "If you're okay with that. It'll just be the four of us."

Ned shrugged. "Mind if I invite Mike and Jan, too?"

Nancy shook her head. "The whole point of this was to make sure Bess and Parker weren't put into some awkward situation," she said. "The more the merrier. But I don't want this to turn into some loud blowout."

He smiled. "It'll be like the cabin," he said. "Playing cards and watching movies."

She twisted the diamond around on her finger. "Where will we sleep?"

"There's plenty of bedrooms," he said, but her gaze stayed centered on him. "We'll figure it out later," he told her.

"Okay."

"But don't try to sway any decisions we might make," he warned her.

"And how would I do that?"

"By coming out of the bathroom in that little silk thing again." His hand tightened on hers.

"All right," she said, mock-reluctant, pouting. "Flannel it is. You know, Bess told me the same thing."

"She's right." He released her hand. "And now that that terrible song is over, let's dance."

\--

"The pizza's gone," Bess called from the kitchen.

Mike was flipping through the channels. "He gets satellite here," he marveled again. "And this place sits empty most of the time."

Nancy and Ned glanced at each other. "I could make some cookies," she said.

"That would be great," Jan said. "Mike hasn't eaten for half an hour so I'm sure he'll be hungry soon."

"Oh really?" Mike responded, tossing down the remote and reaching over to tickle Jan. She shrieked, and Nancy looked away.

Parker reached over and picked up the remote. "Any good movies here?"

"_No_," the other four occupants of the room adamantly chorused, then looked at each other.

"That's why we went by the video store," Ned responded. "Speaking of, Bess, what did you pick out?"

Bess walked back into the living room carrying an oversized bowl full of buttered popcorn. "Well, what kind of mood are you guys in?"

Nancy pushed herself off the couch. "Be right back," she said, and walked into the kitchen. She ripped open a bag of preshaped dough and found a cookie sheet in the cabinet.

Ned pushed open the swinging door and walked in behind her. "Spies who fall in love or three idiots lost in the woods who run into a bear," he said.

"Sounds like the beginning of a joke," she commented, closing her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "What, did Bess cruise the cut-price aisle?"

"Told you you should have gone in with her," he said mildly, as she rested her arms over his. "At least I pick good movies."

"No, you pick movies that involve ocean liners exploding," she corrected him. "Besides, you were talking to me about something when she went inside."

"What was I talking to you about?" he murmured into her ear.

"See, I don't even remember what we were just talking about," she said, purring contentedly. "No idea."

"You inspire such confidence," he said, giving her a squeeze, then pulling back. "How long will these cookies take?"

"Ten minutes once they get into the oven," she said. "But if I want any, I'll have to make a second batch."

"Ha ha," he said. "Play your cards right and you might get some."

She stopped short and met his eyes. The silence between them stretched on, then was broken as Nancy opened the oven and shoved the cookie sheet in. She leaned against the countertop and crossed her arms.

"I don't have any cards left to play," she said softly.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean it that way."

"I know," she replied. "Maybe we could go out there and let Jan and Mike kick our butts at spades again."

Ned released a breath. "Yeah," he said. "We good?"

"Always," she answered, a faint smile on her face.

\--

"He'll be in playoffs all next month?" Bess asked, washing the last of her cleanser off.

"Yeah," Nancy replied, tugging back the quilt on the twin bed. "I don't even know if I'm gonna see him until after that. How's Parker?"

Bess shrugged as she dried her face. "He's great to hang out with," she said. "And a total flirt. But I can't stop thinking about that guy in my class back at Wilder."

Nancy gave her friend a smile. "Maybe he can't stop thinking about you, either."

"I hope," Bess said, crawling into bed. "I hope he asked where I was this weekend and found out I was here."

"Did you tell anyone?" Nancy asked.

Bess grinned. "I made a point of telling a lot of people," she responded. "That I was visiting a good male friend this weekend."

"You sure that won't backfire?"

"He's a _drama_ major, Nan." Bess plumped up the pillow behind her head and leaned back. "I'm providing him with a bit."

Nancy sighed and stared up at the ceiling. "There'll be plenty for us if Ned is here next year."

"At Emerson?"

"No. In this apartment."

"You said this was the president's apartment, right?" Bess asked. "I remember going to a few parties here, but no one ever saying 'Oh be careful, this is the president's place...'"

"Most of them don't take the option of living here, they want to live in the house with the guys," Nancy replied. "And if Ned runs for president, well, it would be a lot easier to come visit him here. At least the bed is three times as big. And there's a kitchen."

"What, you want to play house with him on the weekends?"

Nancy shrugged. "Yeah," she admitted.

"Seems like he's a bit more open to that than he was," Bess winked.

"Oh hush," Nancy responded, smiling. Then she sobered. "He'd be here but he'd be president of a frat house."

Bess propped her head on her elbow and looked over at Nancy. "Nan, I'm not seeing him turning this into Old School and wrestling topless chicks in the basement."

"Then why am I?" she asked.

"Maybe you secretly want him to?" Bess said slowly, then ducked as Nancy pulled the pillow out from under her head and tossed it at her. "I know you don't care for Michael."

Nancy shrugged. "Not really."

"And we have been at some pretty wild parties here."

"Yeah. I just wouldn't expect him to change that. And we did have fun."

"Do you not trust him?"

Nancy flipped over her remaining pillow and sighed. "I do," she said. "But it would take up some of his time. Time I want him to spend with me."

"Did you tell him that?"

"Yeah. And then I felt bad for saying anything."

"You would have felt ten times worse if you had kept your mouth shut."

"But he thinks I don't trust him."

Bess shrugged. "Maybe there's a guy out there who can judge wet t-shirt contests without his thoughts wandering," she said. "Then again, they wouldn't have to wander that far."

"We've dated other people before," Nancy said.

"But you two haven't been engaged to other people before," Bess said. "Except Jessica but that doesn't count."

Nancy smiled. "Yeah."

"I..." Bess paused. "Never mind."

"Go ahead."

"Why are you engaged to him if you don't trust him?" Bess asked quickly.

Nancy opened her arms. "Just because we're engaged doesn't mean we're married," she said. "We were never exclusive before, and now we are. But a lot of things have changed from before. I'm spending all my time at the paper, he's playing all those sports, and now he's talking about doing something else on top of all that."

"Do you think he'd make a good president?"

"Yeah," she admitted softly. "And it would look good on his resume, like he said. Leadership position. I just can't get away from this image of him surrounded by all these slutty sorority girls."

"Hey!" Bess protested. "As a non-slutty sorority girl..."

"Sorry," Nancy said, laughing. "Not you. But I know there are some here. I just can't help but think that they'll see the same qualities in him that make me love him so much, and," she shrugged.

"And that he'd actually fall for that?"

"He is susceptible to flattery and the odd drink," she said.

Bess shrugged. "Aren't we all," she said. "Aren't you?"

Nancy shook her head. "Not anymore," she said softly. Then she made a frustrated noise and threw back the blanket. "I need a glass of water," she said. "Want anything?"

"If there're any cookies left..." Bess smiled.

"Oh come on, I know we ate the last of them," Nancy said. "But I'll check anyway."

She crept downstairs, trying desperately to ignore the sounds of giggling from the master bedroom, where Mike and Jan were staying. Then she wondered briefly what Ned had done with the box that had been on the dresser.

Parker was curled up tight under a blanket on the loveseat. Ned had pulled the bed out of the couch and was sprawled across. She looked down at him quietly for a moment, then walked into the kitchen, wincing as the door creaked.

She was regarding the empty cookie sheet, the glass of water in her hand, as she heard the door creak again behind her. She turned and Ned was standing there.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Haven't tried yet," she admitted. "Which sucks because Bess and I have to leave early tomorrow."

"I'm about to starve and I think we've eaten everything here," Ned grumbled. "Leaving too early for us to catch breakfast?"

She paused, studying him, a slight smile on her lips. "I think we could manage that," she said. "Bess never turns down a pancake house if she can help it."

"Feels weird to not be sleeping together," he said quietly.

"We're also both completely sober," she pointed out.

He met her eyes. "Did you think that was why...?"

"No," she admitted. "But you were right before. And I'm in my good-girl pajamas, and I know you and I aren't going to be seeing a lot of each other."

"Playoffs," he chimed in. "But we have the summer. That is, if you're spending summer at home this year."

She nodded. "And you'll regret it, Nickerson."

"Why would I regret that?" he asked, smiling. He took a few steps closer to her and stood in front of her.

"Because we're going to spend it all planning our wedding to the last detail," she said, grinning up at him.

"Oh, for a case somewhere warm and far away from bridal magazines," he said aloud, giving her a mock woeful look. "Maybe you could schedule a mystery in Fiji?"

She laughed. "I'll see what I can do."

He leaned down and kissed her. "Remind me to talk to you before you leave tomorrow."

"Okay," she said, watching him curiously. "About what Coach Burnett wanted to see you about?"

"Oh-- no, not that."

"What was that about?"

Ned leaned against the countertop, still facing her. "He wants to do something for Mike when we gradate. To show his appreciation for the work he did as my co-captain."

"That's nice," Nancy said softly. "Did he come up with that by himself?"

"Well, I may have said something..."

Nancy wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "You're such a nice guy," he said softly.

"Yeah," he said, brushing her hair away from her forehead. "Right now I wish I wasn't."

"It's one of the reasons I love you," she said, tilting her head back for his kiss. "It might be damn frustrating but it's the reason Dad lets me go on vacations with you."

"Even though you're over eighteen?" He rested his cheek against hers.

"I trust Dad's judgement," she said. "He's always said you were a nice guy."

"Good for me, then," he said, kissing her lightly. "Go back to bed before I change my mind."


	5. Chapter 5

"So how was Emerson?"

"Good," Nancy responded, negotiating a turn. "We had a great trip."

"Is Bess with you?" Carson asked.

"No," Nancy replied. "She drove up later. Did you and Iris have a nice weekend?"

"Quite nice."

"That's good," Nancy replied, with a smile in her voice.

"I don't think we've seen each other in weeks," Carson said. "I take it there's no chance you'll be up in Chicago next weekend?"

"Actually, Ned asked me to come watch the game," she said. "I'm not sure why. Are you going to be in Chicago?"

"Just a little conference," Carson responded. "I have a suite anyway, you're welcome to stay with me and put disgustingly indulgent room service on my tab."

"How can I pass that up?" Nancy giggled. "And maybe if you're not doing anything, you could come to the game with me. George and Bess are both busy."

"Sounds like a date, Nan."

\--

"Go Wildcats!"

Nancy was wearing a purple and orange Emerson sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up, cheering at the top of her lungs. Her father sat beside her, watching Ned.

"He hasn't had any pro offers yet?"

Nancy shook her head. "He's not a senior yet," she reminded him.

"From what I've seen, it's not a question of whether he'll get any, but which one he'll accept," Carson said. "You and Ned might be relocating pretty soon after you get married."

Nancy gazed silently at her father for a moment, then turned back to the game. While they waited for play to resume Ned shot a glance in her direction, his eyes warm.

"Do you really think…" she managed, then fell quiet again.

Carson shrugged. "I take it he hasn't talked about that."

"Not really," Nancy answered. "I mean, he loves to play, and he's obviously beautiful at it," she said, watching him elude the other team's players, "but he's never mentioned wanting to turn pro, play for a particular team, anything like that. It's always been choices between government service or IPOs or…" she waved her hand vaguely.

"There are risks involved," he agreed. "But he could play a few years and with endorsements, you two would be set for life."

"Are you honestly worried about us, Dad?" Nancy asked.

Carson shook his head. "No. Can't say I ever have been."

\--

"The indoor pool closes at midnight."

"Thanks," Nancy replied, and hung up the phone. "Plenty of time, Dad," she called.

Carson yawned. "I think I'm gonna call it a night," he said. "Thanks, but I'll see you in the morning."

"Some sort of decadent breakfast in bed," she said, smiling. "Good night, Daddy."

"Good night." He blew her a kiss.

With her beach bag and a spare towel in her arms, Nancy left their hotel room and headed downstairs, to the pool. Once she reached the lobby, a guy with brown hair fell into step beside her.

"They give you any trouble?" she muttered out of the side of her mouth.

"I learned from you," he replied, his lips seemingly immobile. "Act like you own the place and no one questions it."

Once they were in the room with the pool, Nancy took off her robe to reveal a relatively modest two piece and tossed it over a lounge chair. Ned put his towel down with hers and pulled his shirt over his head.

"This thing is warm, right?" he asked. Three children were in the shallow end, splashing each other and laughing.

"If you want warm maybe we should hit the jacuzzi," Nancy said, gesturing over to her left.

"Nah," he replied. "Ten foot," he read off the side of the pool. "Follow my lead."

She laughed as he pulled her along, having no chance to do anything other than follow him as he tugged her hand. With a startled scream she jumped with him into the deep end of the pool. Once they had surfaced she wiped her wet hair out of her face and blinked at him. "It's freezing in here."

"If those kids weren't here I'd warm you up," Ned said in a voice pitched so only she could hear it. The two of them smiled over at the adults supervising.

"It'll be their bedtime soon," she returned, shooting him a dazzling smile. "No lifeguard on duty."

They did a few laps under the wide-eyed surveillance, careful not to do anything questionable. After a few minutes she climbed out of the pool, water streaming off her skin, and gestured for Ned to follow her.

"Can't wait for you," she whispered to him, then laughed. "So, just for a little while…"

They lowered themselves into the frothing water of the jacuzzi and Nancy sighed as her skin turned pink from the heat. "Nothing like being boiled alive."

"Think they'll be out of here in twenty minutes?" Ned asked, nodding over at the other group.

"I'm sure they will." She tilted her head back until her hair was submerged, then floated over to sit next to him.

"Your dad was nice to feed a starving college student," he said, brushing a tendril of her hair back. "Great dinner. I seem to remember that place from somewhere…"

Nancy playfully smacked his arm, interrupting his mock reminiscent look. "Yeah, I think we've shared dessert there once or twice."

"He really thinks I'd go pro?" Ned asked, looking down at the water.

"He thinks you're good enough," Nancy replied. "So do your coaches. So do I, for that matter."

She had seen his eyes light up when they had been talking about it over dinner, and she saw an echo of that look appear again. "I've never really thought about it," he muttered.

"Well, you never know," she said. "I mean, you tried out acting. You've got the looks for it." She smiled. "And we both know you have the talent to play professional ball. Who knows." She shrugged. "Don't rule it out."

"I won't," he said. He let the bubbles in the tub lift his legs and leaned back against the edge for a while. Then a smile curved his lips. "You like to travel?"

"A little," she teased him. "I'm here for your away game, aren't I?"

"This is Chicago," he said dismissively.

"But you particularly asked me to be here," she said, gazing at him. "To see this game. Were there scouts here?"

He shrugged. "I play the same regardless," he admitted. "I don't know if they were at this game."

"So that's not why you asked me here."

"No, it's not." He gazed over at the side of the pool, where the adults were shepherding their children and flotational devices out. "Oooh, we're finally about to be alone."

\--

After Nancy had washed the chlorine out of her hair, she joined Ned in the sauna. He was leaning against the scorching-hot wood, a look of contented bliss on his face.

"Something in there other than the usual?" she asked, pointing at the heating element, as she joined him.

"Hope not," he mumbled. "Random drug screenings."

She gathered the wet strands of her hair and tossed them over one shoulder, then leaned against him and closed her eyes. "At least if I'm locked in this sauna I won't be alone."

He chuckled, then loosely wrapped an arm around her waist. "No one better lock either one of us in a sauna."

"Talk about being boiled alive," she murmured in response.

"You okay?"

"I could fall asleep."

Ned patted her side. "No falling asleep. Once we're dried out, let's go over to the victory party."

"Where?" she asked slowly.

"Back at my hotel."

"How far is it?"

Ned shrugged. "I walked it, but we can take a cab over."

She groaned. "My hair…" she said.

He planted a kiss on the crown of her head. "Looks fine. Put on a ballcap and come with me."

"Five more minutes," she said, snuggling into his side.

\--

The party was always for either consolation or victory. The coach had turned the convention-center space of their hotel into a stocked entertainment spree, complete with pool tables and large-screen televisions with game consoles. Since so many of the players were underage, the snack tables were decked out with chips and soda, and a submarine sandwich that stretched their entire length.

With Ned's arm around her shoulders, Nancy gained entrance and looked around. "I'm always amazed they can do it this quick," she commented.

"I'm sick of playing 8-ball," one of the players said, then glanced over. "You two want to play?"

Nancy and Ned exchanged glances. "Sure," she spoke up, and chalked up.

She became self-conscious of the ballcap Ned had lent her, though, when she caught sight of Denise. Perfectly manicured, her hair shining, from a distance she looked like Nancy's more glamorous twin. In all the time they played pool, not once did she have to refill her own drink or plate.

Ned followed her gaze and then let his eyes return to her face. "Don't let it get to you," he said.

Nancy smiled. "I wouldn't," she replied, lining up her next shot.

After the game the two of them snuggled up on one of the overstuffed couches to watch a movie with the less adventurous players, many of whom looked as exhausted as Nancy felt.

"You beat your biggest rivals," Nancy murmured into Ned's ear, noticing his response. "I'd expect these guys to be tearing it up at a club somewhere."

"Yeah, but we played harder this game than we have all season," Ned told her, trailing his fingertips over the collar of her shirt. She shivered, and he pulled back. "I'm almost wiped out myself."

She rested her cheek against his shoulder and gazed at the television. "Go to sleep," she said. "I'll still be here."

"That would be boring as hell for you," he said, but slumped over so his head was in her lap. She stroked his hair back from his forehead, gazing down at him.

"It's not boring," she said. "I think this is about the safest way I can watch you sleep, anymore."

As she ran her fingernails gently over his scalp, he closed his eyes. "So that's the only reason you ever wanted to come over," he said, quietly, before he tried to stifle a yawn.

"That was it," she said, laughing softly. "The lingerie was just to distract you from that fact."

\--

When she woke with a start, she was still partially pinned under Ned, but they had moved sometime in the night. His head was supported by the shallow armrest, and the cushions were so wide that he was comfortably sleeping with her pinned between his side and the back of the couch. She could feel his heart beating under her ear, and she pulled back, then depressed the button on her watch to illuminate its face.

Once she deciphered what she was reading, she gasped. They had been asleep for hours. She could still hear some muffled videogame explosions from elsewhere in the room, but otherwise everything was silent.

"Ned," she breathed, then tried to slide her right leg out from under his. She was unsuccessful, and the movement made him stir.

"Ned, I have to go," she murmured as his eyes fluttered open.

"No you don't," he said, his voice slow with sleep, curling an arm around her and pulling her down to his chest. "Stay here."

For a moment she closed her eyes and thought about it, her body relaxing back against his. Then she thought of the expression that would be on her father's face when she turned up late that afternoon, and her eyes popped open again.

"I wish I could," she murmured against his shirt. Then she sat up and shifted again, and crawled over him so that she was on the carpet. "Go back to sleep," she said, when he turned his face to look up at hers.

"We didn't get to talk," he muttered, then yawned and ran his palm over his face.

"We talked plenty," she reminded him, groping around on the floor for her shoes.

"No," he responded. After she had pulled her left shoe on and laced it, he sat up and yawned again. "I need some coffee."

He was trying to locate his own shoes when she finished tying hers and brought him a cup of lukewarm soda. "I think this is the best we can do," she replied.

He took a sip and grimaced, then tied his shoes and finished the soda. "All right," he said, glancing over his shoulder where two of his teammates were still playing a game. "Let's go."

She offered him a hand and pulled him to his feet. "You don't have to," she said.

"Yeah I do."

\--

One large coffee each later, they sat on the floor in the hallway in front of Carson's suite door, the borrowed ballcap pushed low over Nancy's forehead. She tucked a lone strand under the brim. "I don't remember the last time I was awake this early."

Ned was leaning against the wall, his movements still a little stiff. "Marry me," he said.

She glanced at him, eyebrow raised. "Um, you already asked," she reminded him, extending her left hand and wiggling her ring finger.

"Today," he said, his eyes closed to her demonstration. "Let's go… to the courthouse or whatever and do this."

She laughed incredulously. "There's a waiting period."

He shrugged. "We'll slip the guy a twenty, I'm sure that will be long enough."

Eyes dancing, lips pursed, she finally said, "Why, pray tell?"

"So I can wake up every morning like we did today."

"On an uncomfortable couch with me cutting off circulation to the left side of your body?"

"Something like that," he mumbled. "So you'll be there when I wake up." He reached over blindly and she slipped her fingers under his.

She studied his face, and after a moment his eyes opened, and he looked over at her. "It would be nice," she agreed, lacing her fingers between his.

"And you wouldn't be jealous of Denise and then the Cowboys would offer me a starting position and you'd live down in Texas with me, barefoot and solving mysteries."

"Glad you didn't say pregnant." She reached up and traced her fingertip down his jawline. He tilted his head and kissed her finger. "It's warm down in Texas."

"Hardly ever snows," Ned agreed. His eyelids lowered until his eyes were mere glinting slits. "Miles of beach and vacations in Mexico."

"Mmm-hmm." She let her hand drop. "I know all I need to know, right? No one cares about a degree anymore."

"Exactly," he said, raising a finger for emphasis, but his head tipped to the side.

"You need to go back to sleep," she told him.

"Only with you."

She snorted, despite herself. "I don't think so."

The doorknob rattled, and Nancy only had the time to shoot Ned a shocked look before her father opened the door and looked down to see his daughter, her fiancé, and the newspaper.

"Nan?"

"Ned came over for breakfast," she said, as Ned slumped over onto the carpet.

\--

"I rode on the bus, and it's leaving here after lunch."

Nancy put her suitcase down next to a potted palm, while her father checked out. "So you'll be gone soon too." She opened her arms to him, and he stepped toward her willingly, held her tightly.

"I thought you were sober last night," she said into his ear. "But after what you were saying this morning…"

"Sleep deprivation does strange things to a man," he commented, his eyes glowing as he pulled back to look into hers.

"Oh, like _I_ was responsible," she said. "I was the one who said we should stay in the sauna for a while longer."

He shrugged. "I like having you around," he said. "It happens so rarely." He pushed a strand of hair off her forehead.

She searched his eyes. "It's gonna be a while, isn't it."

He nodded. "Unless you relish the thought of chasing the team up and down the Mississippi…"

"Maybe if you made it worth my while," she replied, eyes dancing.

He punched her in the arm gently, but she saw his expression change, and he offered a hand to her father. "See you again soon, Mr. Drew."

"Good luck the rest of the season," Carson said. "Maybe Nancy and I can catch another game in person." He nodded significantly to the two of them, then picked up her suitcase and walked out of the hotel.

She snuggled into his arms again. "I miss you," she said.

"I haven't even left yet," he laughed. He leaned down and gave her an incredibly sweet kiss. "Love you," he said, his voice rough.

"Love you too," she replied, catching him and drawing his face back down to hers for another kiss. "Call me, all right? Every time you think about me."

"We'd never be off the phone," he teased her, taking her arm in his and escorting her out of the hotel, where her father waited. "I'm a poor college student, and you'd bankrupt me."

She kissed his cheek before he released her arm. "Never," she replied.

"Bad luck to end with never," he said, walking backwards so he could continue to face her. "Tell me how long you'll love me."

"Always," she replied, waving, as her father did the same.

"I'll hold you to that," he said, and his tone was joking, but the look in his eyes was meant only for her. She swallowed hard as he finally turned around and huddled against the wind, heading back to his teammates.

\--

Bess sighed loudly and let her binder drop to the floor. "He's gay," she announced.

Nancy glanced away from her notes and up at the television, which was displaying a picture of an enormous burger, not the unfortunately oriented movie star she was expecting. "The burger?"

"Gosh, I hope not." George took the interruption in their concentration as an opportunity to grab a handful of popcorn.

The three girls were sitting in the study lounge of Bess's sorority house. Nancy often joked that it was the quietest place on campus. Since they had taken it over, a few underclassmen had also taken spots at the desks, but the friends were alone that day.

"That guy in my class I was telling you about."

"Oh. That's a bummer," Nancy said, shooting Bess a sympathetic look. "Are you sure?"

"The teacher was totally flirting with him."

George raised an eyebrow. "Hey, that's not cool."

"Yeah, but when we're studying Wilde he can get away with it." Bess brightened for a moment. "Maybe he's bi! Or maybe I could…"

"He _is_ a drama major," George reminded the two of them. "Maybe it's just dramatic to pretend he's gay. I heard it's a real chick magnet."

Nancy laughed. "Not for me."

"There are plenty of other fish in the sea," George continued to her cousin.

"Yeah, but no other fish looks like Dennis Krieffer from a distance," Bess said, tugging a strand of her blonde hair. "Gosh. First day of class I almost died."

Nancy smiled and returned to her notes. "Is your teacher cute?"

Bess snorted. "He's not a guy who could pull eyeliner off," she said. "But he keeps trying."

George tossed another kernel of popcorn into her mouth. "Nice. So he doesn't have the hollow-cheeked starving artist thing going for him."

"Not by a long shot. More like the overfed pompous artist." Bess glanced at the television, which was now showing a group of bikini-clad girls against a pristine beach. "Hey, what are we doing for spring break?"

Nancy stopped flipping through her handouts and laughed heartily. "I thought we all had tests tomorrow. I see what your mind's on."

"I need to drown my disappointment in… oh, _yeah_," Bess said, as the camera panned over to a group of athletic surfer boys. "A little bit of that."

George threw a kernel of popcorn at her cousin. "As long as it's not Fort Lauderdale."

"Hey, whatever," Bess replied easily. "Nan? Got anything in mind? Nancy?"

Nancy snapped out of her reverie. "Huh?"

"Your eye wandering?" George joked. "Or maybe you're like Bess and you just want to be wherever those guys are."

"Somewhere away from this cold would be nice," Nancy said, looking toward the window, which revealed a dull grey landscape.

\--

"Yeah, our vacation's on the same dates," Ned said. "Mine just starts a day before yours. Did you have anything in mind?"

"Someplace warm," Nancy replied, sprawling across her bed on her stomach, cell phone cradled between her face and shoulder. "Some place with a lot of guys to distract Bess from the gay one she's mistakenly been pining over."

"Ouch," Ned commented. "Not Parker, right? Cause…"

"No, Parker's preferences aren't in question," Nancy chuckled. "Some guy in one of her classes."

"You managed to hook some mystery in Fiji yet?" Ned asked lightly.

"I have too much going on as it is," Nancy sighed. "There's Cassie, and the very specific yet untraceable break-ins at the physics labs, and this story I'm investigating—"

"I saw Cassie this past weekend," Ned said thoughtfully. "She was at the Omega Chi party. Looked like the life of it, really."

"Not a care in the world?"

"Not a one."

"Did you dance with her?" Nancy asked in a carefully controlled voice.

"I was bartender, Drew," Ned replied. "Sheathe the claws. I can even sense them."

She laughed. "All right," she said. "Were you a responsible bartender?"

"So responsible that I almost kept the Porsche keys I confiscated."

"Ooh, that would have been nice."

"Tell me about it," he said. "Denise—"

"She was there?" Nancy asked before she could stop herself.

Ned paused for a moment. "So what story are you investigating?"

She took the hint. "Mismanagement of 'academic fees' funds," she replied. "Every now and then the board in charge of the fund starts paying lip service to what it's supposed to be concerned about, like upgrading the computer labs and facilities."

"Sounds absolutely fascinating," Ned said dryly.

"It's a lot of leg work," she admitted. "Going over minutes of old meetings and proposed budgets. I'll be glad when I get it done."

"I will too," he said. "Look…"

"What?" she prompted, when he didn't continue.

"George and Bess bringing people?"

"Bess won't be," Nancy predicted. "As for George, I think so, but she's surprised me before."

"My parents have that timeshare…"

Nancy stopped rooting through her container full of assorted nail polish shades. "The one where my dad's is right next door? I haven't even been there yet."

"Yeah. That one."

"Oh…" Nancy cut herself short. "_Oh_. Do you mean the one that you accidentally invited the entire football team to, next time you went down there?"

"Not the entire team."

"Most of it, then," Nancy returned.

"A couple of the guys asked me about it. It'd be cheap, Nan. And if you could sweet-talk your dad…?"

Nancy grumbled, "I'll see what I can do."

"You're the best."

"I know," she replied. "I am the best. But you're going to owe me, Nickerson."

"I hope you accept unconventional forms of payment." He put an exaggerated leer in his voice.

"We'll see about that."

\--

"Done," Bess announced, capping her fire engine red lipstick and tossing it into the trashcan. "I'll never use that again."

"Thanks," Ned said sarcastically, then turned to his fiancée. "There's no way I owe you this much. You're gonna end up owing me."

Nancy shook her head, fighting to keep a straight face. "You're not going to change my mind, Nickerson," she said, shaking her head. "Now go out there and feed those Spring Breakers!"

After the look he shot her, Nancy thought maybe she had gone a bit too far, but Ned opened the door of the condo and rushed down the steps. Nancy and Bess burst into peals of laughter, and were holding their stomachs before they could stifle themselves enough to walk downstairs, through the remains of denuded palm fronds.

As payback, Nancy and Bess had decked Ned out in a heavily improvised native island chief costume, complete with a headdress made of palm leaves, and war paint made of Bess's more outrageous makeup. They had allowed him to keep his swimsuit on under the outfit, mostly because Nancy was picturing a Hulk-like transformation between the ridiculous character they had made him into, and the besmeared football player she knew he would become. Despite his protests, he was taking it in rather remarkable humor.

"Ready to eat some pig?" he called to the waiting group, and Nancy nearly lost control again.

"Chief Big Nick!" one of his teammates shouted out, and soon the entire crowd had taken up the cheer, around the bonfire they'd set up on the beach. George, her face lit by the flames, shot her two friends a look.

"I would have warned him if you'd told me this was what you were planning," she said under her breath as Nancy and Bess joined her. "We're gonna need another keg."

"I'm not even sure where they found the first one," Bess admitted, retying the sarong around her waist. "Besides, after this, there are some great clubs down on the strip."

Nancy shook her head, her reddish blonde hair flying. "Only you would know that after being here barely twelve hours."

Bess grinned. "I'm well connected."

"The Chief is going to take a bride!"

The three girls turned to gaze at Ned, who was towering near the fire, its glow casting an eerie light on his costume. Nancy's heart started pounding, and her eyes narrowed when she noticed Denise's casual, fluid climb to her feet.

"Right now?" she called out.

"Right now!" Ned replied, running over the sand toward Nancy and lifting her smoothly. He tossed her over his shoulder as the crowd cheered them on, and her startled shrieks faded as they drew nearer to the surf.

"Ned, put me down!" she said, banging her fists halfheartedly against his bare back.

"If you insist!" he replied, wading out until the water reached his waist, then tossing her in. She twisted her body to prevent a smarting impact and screamed again as she hit the water.

He had ripped the palm headdress and skirt off, and was vigorously rubbing water over his face, when she surfaced. "Revenge of the humiliated fiancé?" she asked him softly, smiling.

"Something like that," he said, returning her grin.

"You look good in eyeliner," she said, then laughed as he tried to scrub at the skin under his eyes.

"Thanks," he replied, then slung an arm around her waist. "You look good in this," he said, hooking his thumb under the bottom of her string bikini. "You'd look better with it floating out to sea…"

"Well, if the Chief is taking a bride…" Nancy said seductively, then reached behind her head to where her top was tied. When Ned's eyes widened, she laughed and dropped her hands.

"I'm hungry," she said.

"So am I," he said, picking her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he kissed her. The moisture evaporating off her cooling skin wasn't the only thing making her shudder. When they broke apart, he planted a kiss against the side of her neck.

"Now they'll really be talking," she murmured.

"Somehow I think that's what you wanted all along," he replied, wading out of the surf. "And we're not even yet, Drew."

"You take my top off in front of these people and you will sing like a girl," she said with a deceptive grin, through clenched teeth.

"You joking? Them seeing your bra was bad enough," he said. "Or good enough. No, I have something else in mind."

She dropped the grin. "No public humiliation."

"Nah." Suddenly he curved an arm around her waist and drew her to him for a kiss that seemed to go on for hours. Breathless and dizzy when he pulled back, she regarded him from beneath lowered lids.

"Wow."

"Preview."

Despite Bess's insight into the local nightlife, the majority of their group stayed on the beach around the bonfire even after they had finished the meal. Ned had washed the remainder of the makeup off his face and was on his back, listening to one of the guys strum a guitar, with Nancy's head on his stomach. He watched her move slightly every time his chest expanded with another breath.

"I can't eat another bite," she protested, looking down at her dessert. She turned to look at Ned. "Want to finish it off?"

He opened his mouth obligingly, his eyes dancing. With a smirk on her face she sat up and fed him the last few bites, but her eyes widened when he ran his tongue over her fingertips.

"You taste good," he said, then met her gaze.

She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it abruptly. Then she leaned over, supporting her weight with a hand on either side of him, and kissed him hard.

"What were you about to say?" he asked. He tugged at her, to swing her on top of him, but she resisted.

She shook her head. "Not here."

"Okay." He reached up and trailed his fingertips over her hair. "Later then."

His gaze shifted, and Nancy followed it up to see Bess, who was standing near them, hands on her hips. "I need to cool off," she said. "Anyone want to join me?"

Nancy pulled herself out beyond the breakers with sure, even strokes, her body rising and falling with the motion of the waves. Bess shrieked and giggled as the water crashed over her waist, attracting the attention of some of the guys on the beach. Bess wasn't so strong a swimmer, so Nancy was safely alone. She floated on her back, staring up at the stars, the sea roaring in her ears.

Her peripheral vision registered his presence, as she knew it would. "You're pretty far out," he said in a low voice.

"Thank you," she replied, smiling.

"There's something I'd like to show you," he said. "I found it when I came here with my parents."

Nancy glanced over at Bess, but Ned shook his head. Their giggling friend was surrounded by a group of guys, clearly enamored by her. "Okay," she replied, kicking her feet to keep upright.

He held her hand as they walked down the beach, until the bonfire was a dim memory in the distance. She followed him through a gate nearly hidden by shrubbery, to benches around a shallow abandoned wading pool. Leaves floated in the green water, gleaming in the moonlight.

"No one comes back here," he said, lowering himself to one of the cement benches.

"You bring all your vacation girlfriends here?" Nancy asked, sitting down beside him. She smiled.

"You're the first," he said, reaching for her. He tilted her chin with his fingers and kissed her gently.

When he pulled back, her eyes were closed. "I wonder why this place is neglected," she murmured.

"Maybe this little place came with a timeshare and someone's paying for it, but we're here to enjoy it." He kissed her again.

"Ned…"

"I was joking with you earlier," he whispered into her neck. "I could see in your eyes what you thought I was thinking."

She slipped off the rough texture of the bench, onto the weather-smoothed tile surrounding the murky pool. Wind rippled the surface, distorting her reflection. "Oh?"

"Where will you sleep tonight?" he asked, lowering himself to the stone beside her.

She looked up. "Where do you want me to sleep?"

"You know the answer to that," he murmured in response, cupping her cheek with his hand as he kissed her again. She leaned into him, shivering in the breeze off the ocean. "Cold?"

"Warm me up," she replied, climbing into his lap, into his embrace. He leaned back against the bench and wrapped his arms around her, her skin hypersensitive as he tasted the salt the sea had left on her neck. When his mouth found hers again, their kiss was slow and deep.

"I love you," she sighed, breathless, as they separated.

"Love you too," he whispered, leaning in again. He kissed her slowly and bent his legs, and she trailed kisses down his neck until she was cradled against his chest, her cheek against his shoulder.

Her eyes were closed when he started stroking her back. When his nails started picking at the knot of her top, though, she opened her eyes to gaze silently at the resort in the distance.

"Nan?"

"I'm here."

He kissed the corner of her mouth and she pushed herself up, her skin tingling at the touch of his fingers as she returned his kiss. He finally picked the wet knot apart and she felt the pressure suddenly loose. She leaned back from him and tugged the top over her head, then met his eyes.

"We even?"

He shifted underneath her, and as he kissed her he lowered her to the smooth stone. Her heart started pounding as he kissed her ear.

"Nan?"

She tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his face back to hers. "Hush," she mumbled into his kiss.

"I don't want to stop," he whispered, groaning as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Then don't…"

\--

"Nan… Nan?"

Nancy made an unhappy noise and turned from the intrusive hand shaking her. "No," she mumbled, grimacing.

"Time to go to bed."

At her side she felt Ned moving, and glanced over. He was rubbing his eyes. "We must have fallen asleep," she murmured.

"Yeah," George answered, laughing. Several strands of gleaming beads circled her neck.

The television was on in front of them, and it cast a dim light over the living room of the condo. Nancy pushed her hair out of her face and sat up, looked around. Satisfied that they were awake, George walked to the downstairs bathroom and closed the door.

"You okay?"

Nancy stood unsteadily and reached down to pull Ned to his feet. Once they were facing each other she reached over and turned off the television, leaving them in darkness. She reached for his hand and led him up to her bedroom.

He was speechless as he watched her step out of the jeans she'd put on when they had returned to the condo, and she climbed into the double bed. After a few minutes she opened her eyes and stared pointedly at him, then patted the bed next to her.

"We need to talk," he managed to say quietly.

"In the morning," she said irritably, her voice thick with sleep. "Come to bed."

He stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers, barely daring to breathe as she settled against him.

\--

The ceiling was moving.

Ned blinked a few times. Undulating water. Water, the pool, her gasping underneath him—

He rubbed his eyes vigorously and sipped in a breath, then turned his head. Nancy's side of the bed was empty. The downstairs swimming pool was casting its reflection on the textured ceiling above the bed. He could hear the pitch of female voices from downstairs.

He was in the girls' condo. Nancy's father's timeshare.

He tugged his jeans on and headed downstairs, still shirtless, vaguely wondering where his toothbrush might be. The living room was carpeted by sleeping bags, some of which had been zipped together, and Ned averted his eyes until he entered the sunlit kitchen.

Nancy and George were making breakfast for an army. George was stirring an enormous skillet full of scrambled eggs, while Nancy was buttering toast. Ned watched her carefully as he snatched a piece, and sensed no guardedness in her answering smile.

"So you're finally up, sleepyhead," she said cheerfully. "Want some orange juice?"

He nodded, warily, but accepted the glass she handed him.

Nancy had been right. Almost the entire football team had accompanied them on their trip, even the towel boys and cheerleaders. Between their two condos they could only accommodate around half, so the rest, including Denise, had opted to crash together in crowded cheap hotel rooms. Except, judging by the lack of available space on the floor, a lot of people had ended up not wanting to leave.

Once the girls, in varieties of sleepwear ranging from modest to downright indecent, started yawning their way into the kitchen, Ned headed back over to his parents' place and let himself in. About the same number of couples were still sprawled on the floor. He headed upstairs to find Howie in the master bedroom.

"Everything cool, man?"

Howie nodded. "I'll take good care of the place. Don't worry."

Ned raised his voice. "Breakfast in the other condo if you hurry," he called, and some muffled groans answered him. With a smile and a nod to Howie, Ned shut himself in the bathroom.

\--

"Yeah, this is the last time we're doing this," Nancy said under her breath. She grabbed one of the guys passing through, one she knew liked her. "Go to the store and get some more bacon, please, darling," she said, and he nearly ran out the door to obey her.

Bess, her hair pulled back into a sloppy ponytail, found a space on the counter and made herself a cup of coffee. "Yeah, but you guys are way better than the crappy continental breakfast they have downstairs."

"Well, then you pony up for a Krispy Kreme variety pack tomorrow morning," George said, sliding some eggs onto a plate and handing them to her cousin. "Football players. Bottomless endless football players."

"Bed and breakfast," Bess said. "Charge 'em two bucks a head."

Nancy slid the last slice of bread into the toaster and depressed the handle. "I'm famished."

"Go sit down." George handed her a plate of eggs.

"Don't you…?"

"Nah. I'm almost out of eggs, anyway."

Finding no empty places available inside, Nancy took a cup of coffee and her plate down to the edge of the pool. The sun was blazing brightly, and some of the more adventurous guests were already in the water. Nancy shielded her eyes and gazed out to the beach.

"Hey."

Ned was wearing his sunglasses and swim trunks, lounging on the chair beside hers. Nancy felt a twinge.

"Got any more coffee?"

She tilted his face up for a kiss in response, and he tasted the warmth on her breath. "That's it, stranger."

"We cool?"

Nancy stabbed at her eggs with a plastic fork, then took a bite. "Of course," she said.

"Not of course." He watched her finish her breakfast, then lean over the fence to toss the remains into a trash can.

"Do you really want to talk about this?" she finally answered him.

Ned shrugged. "No," he replied. "I don't. Because we did stop."

"Because the gate creaked," she said hastily.

"And a lot of other reasons," he said. "And I'm sorry."

"Why should you be?" she asked, but quietly, her eyes not meeting his.

"You'd hate me if I weren't."

She turned her head quickly to stare at him. "Sometimes I'm not sorry."

"But not always." He reached over and touched a strand of her hair, and stared at it instead of her face. "And it's the not always I worry about."

"Would you? If we would feel no guilt?"

He dropped his hand and squinted out at the ocean. "I don't know," he answered. "After you told me you wanted to wait, that was it."

"No it wasn't," she said mildly. "It isn't. Because any time the two of us are alone in a bedroom…"

"Yeah, but," he shrugged. "I wait for you to make the first move. And damn, Nan… it's really hard to turn you down."

She sighed. "The timing is wrong."

"I wish it had been better." He reached for her hand. "But we're always okay, in the end."

She smiled faintly. "You can stay in my bed as long as you promise to not have any more of those dreams."

He squeezed her hand. "I can't promise that."

"What can you promise, then?"

"That I won't try to act them out when I wake up."

Nancy stood and pulled him to his feet. "I guess that's good enough. Come on, let's go cool off."

\--

"Maybe I shouldn't let you out of my sight. Is that real?"

Nancy glanced down at where Ned's fingertip was depressing the edge of the tattoo on her upper arm. "Henna," she said, her smiling face tilted up to see his. "Do you wish it was real?"

The party at the club had spilled out onto the enclosed courtyard, and Nancy and Ned were surrounded an endless sea of other dancing couples. When she tilted her head back, she could see the stars above their heads, untainted by light pollution.

"I don't know," he said.

"Buy me another drink," she called above the noise, grinning.

Ned called one of his buddies over, slipped him a bill, and murmured something to him. Then he turned to Nancy, who was still dancing, and said "Do this." He extended his arm and then touched the tip of his nose with his outstretched finger.

She stopped dancing and obeyed him, with no hesitation or slip. "But you just ordered my drink, why'd you tell me to do that?"

"Because if you couldn't, I would have had it myself," he said, pulling her into his arms again.

She tilted her head back to look at the sky, then twisted in his arms so her back was against his front. He kept his hands at her waist as she swayed her hips with the music. He leaned down and kissed her ear, then kept one hand at her waist as he traced the henna again.

"You do like it," she said seductively.

"I like what you're doing right now," he replied. "More of that, please."

She caught the communication between Ned and the guy who brought their drinks, the subtle nod of the head before she was allowed to take hers. "I'm fine," she told him, fingers wrapped around the cold glass. Then she turned to Ned. "I'm fine."

"I know you are."

"I know exactly what I'm doing."

"I know exactly what you're doing," he replied. "We should come out here every night this week."

She was wearing a graphite silk camisole that tied in the back and darkwash flared jeans, her makeup glittering. And she knew what the sight of the ink on her skin was doing to him, she knew what he was thinking when he glanced down at her mostly exposed back and the silk keeping her top on. He himself was dressed in a light green linen shirt and khaki shorts, and somewhere in the course of the evening his shirt had been unbuttoned, so now when she danced sometimes their bare skin would brush and she would shiver.

"Hey Chief!" someone greeted Ned from the other side of the crowd. Nancy heard him growl under his breath as he returned it.

"You're going to kill me, aren't you," she said matter-of-factly.

"I would, but I'm not into necrophilia," he said. "Maybe a little light bondage would teach you your lesson."

A grin curved her lips. "We still haven't discussed my feelings on that," she said.

"Ahh, but speaking hypothetically, if I'm a sadist I don't really care what your feelings are, and I'd rather them be against it," he said, his breath against her neck, and she shivered.

"Hypothetically," she repeated. Her head rested at his shoulder as she sipped her drink. "Maybe you're a sadomasochist."

"I'd have to be, to stand here dancing with you, and not have you on the beach somewhere ripping that top off you."

She paused for just the briefest second and he took a sip of his drink. "Why do I tell you no and then wear something like this, just to see that look in your eyes?" she wondered aloud, quietly. "Why am I dancing with you this way and letting myself think about what I want to do with you, when we're going to go back to the room and lie down and not—"

"What do you want to do?"

She tossed back the rest of her drink and turned around in his arms so she was facing him. "You know exactly what I want to do," she accused him.

"Not exactly," he replied. "Generalities. The ends but not the means."

"And apparently you want to tie me up."

He raised a finger. "Hypothetically," he corrected her. "Never said I wanted to tie you up."

"You've tied me up before," she said, raising an eyebrow.

"At gunpoint, while we were fast approaching the climax of one of your countless cases," he replied. "Not exactly the same."

"Did you like having me powerless?"

"I like having you where you can't run off in the pursuit of some lead, yeah," he replied, finishing his drink. "Powerless, no. If I wanted that, I could have…" he nodded over at the throng of cheerleaders.

She searched his eyes. "Does it really bother you that much?"

He shrugged. "It's you, it's who you are," he said. "If it bothered me I wouldn't have come back."

She tensed, then launched herself up, wrapping her legs around his hips, her arms around his neck. "Let's go somewhere and talk," she murmured into his ear. "Buy me another drink on the way out."

The glass clinked against the concrete bench as Ned put their bottles down and sat down so she was in his lap. The pitch-black night, still relieved by a few stars, seemed even more so in the shaded courtyard of the abandoned pool.

"Interesting choice."

"You wanted to talk."

She took a long pull off her bottle. "Why did you come back to me?"

He smiled. She could read the contours of his face in the darkness. "I wanted you."

"But you had been with Erika."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"You broke things off with her… why?" Steeling herself, Nancy took another sip.

"I didn't want to be in the kind of relationship with her that I found myself in," he said slowly.

"What kind of relationship is that?" He shifted. "Do you need me to get down?" she asked.

"You're fine," he replied. "I wanted to sleep with her."

Her voice came as though it belonged to someone else, from underwater, disassociated from her suddenly wooden body. "Did you?"

He looked away from her. "No," he said, so softly she could barely hear it. As blood returned to her limbs, she waited. "We were alone in her room and I realized it wasn't what I wanted."

"You wanted to sleep with her but not have a relationship with her?"

He smiled again, self-mocking. "I wanted to break myself on her. I wanted to forget how I felt the day you told me maybe we should be friends for a while."

Nancy picked up her bottle and swung off his lap, to sit next to him on the bench. "To get back at me."

"It wasn't as petty as that," he said. "She's hot and smart and she was available, and you weren't. You had no plans on being available to me at any point in the near future, I seem to remember."

"Then why didn't you just stay with her?"

He shrugged. "I may have wanted to sleep with her, but I loved you."

Nancy could feel her temperature rising, despite the wind blowing in from the sea. "How… far did this wanting… go?"

Ned took a drink from his bottle, then held it against his forehead. "It won't solve anything for you to know that. It won't make anything better. And you don't want to know it. You don't."

"Yes I do."

When he had told her, in graphic detail, filtered through the alcoholic haze around her brain, she nodded.

"Not as far as me."

"No," he replied, calmly.

"She was a slut."

"In the same way that Bess is. She gives her heart too freely and too often. I'm sure once I stopped returning her calls that she latched onto some other guy, without giving me a second thought."

"After letting the most eligible bachelor at Emerson slip through her fingers?" Nancy teased weakly.

"According to you, maybe."

"According to the dean, maybe," she retorted. "She's kicking herself that she didn't pursue you. Right now, I bet."

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I've finished my Chemistry requirement and I have no intention of running into her."

She laughed. "Odd. That you would have had… chemistry under that situation."

He bumped his shoulder against hers. "Now I'm pretty sure you're smashed."

She extended her arm and touched her finger just to the side of her nose. "Not quite. I can still feel my nose."

"Damn. I was hoping bad puns only came when you were drunk."

"You've known me long enough to know better," Nancy said, bumping her shoulder against his. "I wish the timing hadn't been so bad."

"Oh?"

"If you had broken up with her before I'd called…"

"Oh, you still would have broken up with me?"

Nancy kicked her sandal off and traced her bare toe around a stone. "It seemed like the right thing to do."

"Yeah, but so does being here with you right now. So did seeing her, and then seeing her again, and then…"

"I never meant to hurt you," she said. "But things were only going to get worse. And if I were to be logical, you and I wouldn't be together right now."

She was glad she couldn't see his face; hearing his voice was bad enough. "God forbid we be logical about any of this."

"We don't have to be," she replied. "We aren't. But that's why you came back to me, and that's why you kept seeing me even after you knew about Jake, and that's why we're going to be married even though I've seen you maybe five times in the past five months. And I want to spend every single moment I possibly can with you, but… the possible moments are so short when I'm on a case. And I'm always on a case. Story."

"Same thing."

"I look at you and I'm scared that someone else will see you, and say 'You know, he's engaged, but his fiancée is hours away, and she never needs to know.' And maybe you'll roll over one night and I won't be there and you'll wonder why you were ever crazy enough to put up with this, to agree to wait for me…"

"You see me as that fickle?"

"I see you as that beautiful," she replied, tracing her fingertips down the line of his jaw. "And worth more than a sometime girlfriend. You shouldn't be lonely and there are a thousand girls at Emerson who would love to make sure you never are."

"Are you sure that's not the way you're feeling? That you're afraid you will find yourself unable to… stay committed?" He touched the ring on her finger. "That maybe you're beautiful too, and worth more than a sometime boyfriend?"

She met his eyes. "No," she breathed.

"There could be a million supermodels at Emerson," he said. "None of them would be you. Nan… believe me, I thought about it. Way before now, before I climbed into my car and drove all the way to your school to see you again. Erika may not have been the one, but that doesn't mean there's not someone else out there, someone I could be happy with… but that doesn't matter because you're the one I want. _You_. You and your cases or stories or mysteries. You're the one I will be happy with."

"Aren't you happy with me now?"

"I could be happier," he said. "This trip… this is perfect. And I'm happy with you right now, fantastic amazing happy, but we're going to go back home and you'll be hours away from me until the summer. And I'm going to have to find a way to kidnap you and keep you all to myself until August."

She slipped an arm around her waist and leaned into him. "Who needs a summer job, we can live off love."

He chuckled. "Exactly."

She extended one leg and raised it off the ground, so that her nail polish gleamed in the dim starlight. "You remember when we were in Chicago, sitting outside my dad's hotel room, and you asked me to marry you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I thought I told you why then."

"Tell me again."

"Wasn't it… so I could go play for the Cowboys and you wouldn't be jealous of Denise anymore?"

Nancy nodded. "Yeah."

"Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondering."

"Wondering what?" He rested his hand on her hip, and she felt the warmth radiating from beneath his skin.

"No one would ask questions about us being gone all summer if we…"

"Fabricated a kidnap attempt? Invented a summer camp at which we were counselors? Stayed with my cousin Laurel?"

"Eloped."

He stopped for a second, then started laughing heartily. "I think that would raise a lot of questions."

"You know what I mean."

He stopped laughing. "Nan, that's serious."

"I don't want to wait… it'll be more than two years from now, until I'm out of college. More than a year until you are. I don't want to feel guilty about you sleeping in bed with me, I don't want to be worried that other girls may not value this ring on my finger as much as I do."

"You feel guilty?"

She shrugged. "Dad would kill me if he knew," she said. "Hannah would kill me. Your parents..."

"I get the picture." He tilted his bottle back to drain it, then placed it on the bench next to him as she finished her own. "Let's go for a walk."

\--

He didn't even have to ask her to touch her nose again when she decided that, being hot, taking off her jeans was a good idea. She splashed around in the inch-high tide, with Ned carrying her pants and sandals, and when the chilled breeze had penetrated her skin and started curling her hair, she veered off path in front of him.

"I need to go wash my feet," she said. "And I'm cold."

He lifted her into his arms and wrapped the jeans around her to keep her underwear from public view before carrying her back to the condo. The stillness in their shared rooms was deafening. He placed her on the kitchen countertop and washed her feet in lukewarm water, the sand settling into the drain, her teeth and eyes gleaming in the dim light.

"Are you not going to say anything?" she asked, tilting her head and staring at him.

"I'll say something about it when we're sober, if you still want me to," he replied, turning off the water and lifting her dripping feet out of the sink. "Put your jeans on."

"No." She pushed herself off the counter and stood in front of him, in her gleaming top and panties. She reached up and twined her arms around his neck. "Talk to me about it now."

They both heard the rattle in the lock at the same time. Ned shot her a frustrated look, then lifted her in his arms and carried her upstairs, to her bedroom.

"I don't take this lightly," he said, looking at her after he had closed the door behind them. "Maybe I should sleep in the other condo tonight."

"Why?"

"Because you're not thinking clearly."

"Oh, you weren't thinking clearly when you suggested to me the same thing?"

"I never…"

"Slip him a twenty, it counts?"

He took a deep breath. "I want you, all of you," he said. "Your putting a ring on my finger won't change the distance."

"I didn't say it would. I didn't say it would make any difference. Except that when I do this—" she reached behind her head and unfastened her top in a fluid motion, let it fall to the floor, and he half-turned his gaze away. "You wouldn't do that anymore. You would come to me," she said, walking toward him with slow, careful steps, until they were almost touching, reaching up to draw his shirt down his arms. His jaw tensed as his shirt joined hers, as he tried to ignore the way the faint light glinted off the curve of her flesh.

"Nan," he said warningly.

"I'm wrong?"

His eyes met hers, then drifted down, and he took a slow deliberate step, his chest brushing hers. "You're not," he whispered.

The flush spread on her skin as he stepped out of his shorts, then divested her of her underwear. He threw her on the bed and pinned her down, her wrists joined above her head and held there by his hand, and he nudged her knees apart, resting his weight on her open thighs.

Her heartbeat sounded in her ears as he leaned down to touch his forehead to hers. "I can feel how scared you are," he whispered. "Is this what you wanted? To tease me until I finally give in? That's what it would be, Nancy. All I have to do is move an inch," he whispered, and she gasped, her eyes wide. "There's no love in this. Just want. Is this how you thought it would be?"

Her teeth chattering, Nancy shook her head. "Please," she whispered, her voice tiny.

"Please what?"

"Don't…"

He rested his face against her neck, even as she struggled. "I can feel your skin while I sleep," he whispered. "I can feel you and I want you, God…"

She stopped struggling. "I'm sorry."

He pulled back again to look into her eyes, into the panic she was barely hiding. "I just want you to understand what you're doing to me every time you think you're being cute. Do you want me right now? Did you think things would go this far?"

She shook her head. "I don't want you like this. You're scaring me."

"What if I," he whispered, and released her.

"And what was the point of that?"

"Stop taking your clothes off and trying to make me do something you don't want me to do," he said. Perching himself on the edge of the bed, he pulled his shorts back on. She was speechless as he walked out, closing the door softly behind him.

\--

"He was here. Did you two have a fight or something?" Bess lowered her voice at the last.

After ten minutes of distracted contemplation, Nancy had dressed hurriedly, jeans and an Emerson sweatshirt, and started looking for him. Only their beer bottles were at the abandoned pool; the club was still in full swing, but she hadn't spotted him.

"Here with me, or here recently?"

Bess shrugged. "I don't remember the last time I saw him," she said. "Or what you'd call recent. He looked… I don't know what he looked."

"That would have been recent," Nancy replied. "Who was he with?"

Bess looked down for a moment, then met Nancy's eyes with her kohl-rimmed gaze. "I remember seeing him with Denise," Bess said quietly.

Without another word Nancy spun on her heel and started studying the crowd. Her chest felt tight and solid, her lips pressed together in a firm line.

"I don't think it was like that," Bess began, pleading.

"With her?" Nancy repeated, her words ice, not looking at Bess.

"I thought maybe you two were arguing," Bess explained miserably. "They were just dancing."

George walked by just then, a fresh crop of beads around her neck. "Come on, we're going on the cruise up the beach!" she said, tugging Nancy's sleeve. "Want some beads?"

Nancy met George's gaze, her eyes glistening. "Now?"

George sobered slightly. "You look like you need it. Come on, Bess."

"Hey," Bess replied, then tossed the rest of her drink back. "Nan needs something to distract her."

"I don't think—"

"Hey!" Bess clapped her hands, and her entourage came to attention. "Nancy needs a distraction, so we're going on the cruise! Give her a hand, won't you?"

With that four of the strapping football players lifted Nancy onto their shoulders and headed for the door. Despite her mood, Nancy felt the corners of her mouth lift slightly.

\--

The barest touch of royal blue tinted the sky as one of the football players lowered Nancy to her feet in front of the condo's door. Three or four giggling cheerleaders rushed by them, their beads clicking in the stillness. "So, do you want to come in?" he asked. He had had a few too many beers toward the end of the evening, and was swaying on his feet.

After two drinks Nancy had switched to soda, and she felt sorry for the poor guy in front of her, who had bestowed a string of beads on her with no hint or promise of any further revelation of skin. She had danced with him, in the swaying giggling chaos of the boat, but had eluded his advancements with little effort. Until now. At the door of Ned's condo.

The girls had left the door open. Nancy saw Mike sitting on the couch, bathed in the blue glow of the television, a game controller in his hand. "Just one more," he said.

To the other person in the room. Ned, who had Denise snuggled up securely to his side.

She considered wrapping her arms around the swaying, still expectant guy, planting a kiss full on his lips in view of her fiancé, but even the hot anger at seeing Denise so close to him could not give her the unflinching nerve to do it. Instead she gave the guy a warm smile.

"You're a sweetheart," she said. "I'd love some water."

"Close the door!" called one of the vaguely moving sleeping bags from the carpet.

Nancy watched Ned and Mike hunt each other on the television screen while the guy drew her a glass of water. Denise made some mumbled comment but received no response. Nancy turned to the guy, who had poured his own glass of water and was clumsily pulling himself on top of a barstool.

"I had a great time. And we could keep having a great time, there are some bedrooms upstairs," he said, smiling vaguely in her direction. Nancy could see Ned's posture suddenly become careful and straight, in the reflection of a glass cabinet.

"Yeah, there are," Nancy replied casually, taking another sip.

"Maybe…"

"Look, why don't you go ahead up." She smiled thinly and patted his shoulder, and his eyes widened. He turned, and when his glance back over his shoulder at her was met with a reassuring nod, he vanished into the darkness of the stairwell.

Nancy took a thoughtful sip of her water, then drew another glass. Cool air rushed over her legs from the opened refrigerator door, and she placed a palm against the countertop to steady herself.

"He'll be asleep by the time you get upstairs."

"Who said I was going to follow him?" Nancy replied, then arched an eyebrow and looked over her shoulder at Ned. "Either he doesn't know who I am or too drunk to care he's making an enemy of you."

Ned shrugged. "I'll straighten him out in the morning."

Nancy took another sip of water. "Don't be too hard on him. He's a good kid."

Careful to keep his touch above reproach, he hooked a finger under her strand of beads and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I got those free. Though maybe he thought I'd pay once we got back here." She nodded at the stairs.

"I should say you've already paid for them tonight. Is Jan around?"

"She and Bess weren't too far behind me…" Nancy trailed off as the door opened to reveal them with a bunch of giggling girls, their arrival met by a chorus of groans from the sleeping bags. "They dragged me out on the cruise."

She watched Ned's gaze travel from Jan and Bess, back over the couch to where Denise was sitting. Denise arched a delicate eyebrow, and pouted at whatever response or lack thereof she received from Ned. He reached for Nancy's water glass and took a sip.

"You seem remarkably sober, for having been on the cruise," he replied. "I'm sorry about earlier."

"Did you take out your—frustration—on her?" Nancy asked, nodding in Denise's direction.

Ned chuckled. "That's an interesting word for it," he replied. "No, I think you and she were both disappointed tonight."

"Oh, don't be so modest, Nickerson," Nancy said sarcastically.

"I am sorry," he repeated. Then he raised his voice so Mike could hear. "I'm going to bed."

"Good!" a muffled voice replied from the floor.

She put her glass down on the countertop and followed him up the stairs, to his bedroom, dimly lit by the impending dawn. He tugged his shirt off as she watched.

"Who'd you kick out to sleep here tonight?" she asked softly.

He shrugged, dropping boneless to the mattress, cradling his head in his hands. "He'll be two doors down on the right," Ned replied, pointing in that direction. "Though if I'm not mistaken you'll be splitting a double sleeping bag with him. And I hope you like snoring."

She nudged the door shut with her toe. "I wasn't the only one who was afraid tonight," she said quietly.

Ned tugged the comforter back with wooden movements and scooted onto the sheet. "Go back to your room," he said.

She perched on the edge of his mattress. "I'm not going anywhere until you admit it to me."

"Admit what?" he asked through his yawn.

"Denise is downstairs. Was she expecting to join you tonight?"

Ned's eyes popped open and he stared at the ceiling. "Can't you leave anything alone?"

"Did you offer her the same thing you offered me?"

Responding to the level tone in her voice, Ned turned his head and looked in the direction of her eyes. "You know I wouldn't."

"But you'd do that to me?"

He sighed, then rolled onto his side so his back was facing her. "Go away," he said.

"But you'd do that to me?" she repeated, crawling over him so she could sit, indian-style, facing him.

"I'd do it to anyone else," he exploded suddenly. "I'd have sex with Denise or Erika or Cameron a thousand times before I'd--…"

"Are you that afraid?" she asked softly.

"I want to wait," he said. "Until you are signed sealed delivered and mine, until there is not a damn thing that can take you away from me, because any one of those other girls I could sleep with and not care but I can't, I can't do that with you. I can't just…"

Her eyes were glowing. "Because you love me and you don't love them."

He nodded miserably. "You were the first and the only and you'll be that way for me until you die. And I can't help it and I can't change it. I can't have sex with you like you're anyone because you're not anyone. Those girls downstairs, the ones I don't give a damn about…"

She looked away. "I get it."

"And if you hurt me I'll lose myself in it. I almost did it before."

She raked a hand through her hair, brushing it back. "I know you're the only one," she said slowly. "The only one who will ever know me this well. Half the time it's like you can see inside my head."

"Not right now," he replied.

"You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with," she whispered. "You're the one I want to… to be with me, the first time. But not like tonight. You scared me tonight."

He shook his head. "I don't trust you," he said.

Her mouth dropped open. "What--?"

"I…" He dragged a hand through his hair. "I've had to distance myself from you so many times before. I hate doing it. I hate this… this feeling I have, that someone else is going to come along and you're going to hurt me for him again. But it's familiar and it's happened so many times…"

"That was before," she said gently. Then her voice hardened. "Denise?"

"Denise 'didn't want me to be alone tonight,'" Ned said, making quotes in the air with his fingers. "As though I need supervision while playing video games."

"Did you dance with her?"

Ned met her eyes for a long moment. "In a big group, but not specifically with her."

Nancy held his gaze. "Cause, you know what dancing is."

"I know I only want to dance with you."

Nancy gathered her hair to fall over one shoulder and leaned down to kiss him lightly. "Go to sleep," she whispered.

He closed his eyes, obviously relieved. "Do you understand, though?" he murmured. "That we can't… we can't do this now, not the way you want? Even if it was just true before, it's been years, Nan, and…"

She knelt by his side and placed a finger over his lips, and he kissed her fingertip. "I'm not mad at you," she murmured.

"Good," he mumbled in response, then wrapped his arms around her waist and held her.

\--

"Stop! _Stop it!_"

A solid object thumped against the wall, followed by the sounds of female shrieking. Ned groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm gonna throw you in the pool for that!"

"Shut _up!_" came a muffled retort.

Nancy turned over, Ned's arm still slung across her. "So you'd have slept with Denise last night?"

Ned growled something, then rolled on top of her. "You're so much cuter when you're sleeping."

Nancy giggled, shoving at his weight to no avail. "Come on," she said.

He yawned. "No, I would not have slept with Denise, or you, or anyone last night. Period. End of story." He tilted his head forward onto the pillow and she heard his breathing become even.

"Ned," she muttered, shoving at him again.

"Shut up if you want to get out of bed," he replied.

She ran her tongue along the edge of his ear, and as he leaned back, startled, she kicked out from under him in a fluid motion and pulled herself to sitting. "Thanks."

"Nan…"

She was sitting against the headboard, bare legs, knees pulled up against her chest, when the door suddenly opened. She and Ned scrabbled at the covers to tug them over her, as a guy wearing swim trunks, an enormous water gun in his hands, stepped into the room. "Oh," he said. "Anyone else in here?"

"_No!_" Nancy and Ned chorused, angrily.

"Sorry." He was smiling as he shut the door behind him. "You better be hiding!" they heard him bellow.

"Shut the hell up!"

Ned cast a look at his fiancée. "Did I hear something about throwing someone into a pool?"

"Nancy!" they heard from downstairs.

Nancy reached for her pants and pulled them on quickly. "Coming!" she called.

George pulled open the door. "Nickerson, you want to go for a run too?" she asked, unfazed at the sight of Ned, shirtless, still in bed beside her friend. Nancy was sitting on the edge of the mattress, pulling her sneakers on.

"Oh, don't do that," he said, taking her shoe out of her hand, then throwing her over his shoulder. She screamed and beat her fists against his unyielding back as he ran downstairs, through the sliding glass doors, and out to the pool, where he unceremoniously tossed her in.

"Now she can go running," he announced to George, who had followed them.

Nancy surfaced, sputtering. "You--!" she shouted. "Get in here right now!"

Ned grinned as he jumped and tucked his legs up, doing a cannonball into the water and drenching his fiancée again.

"Aww, you two are cute," George said sarcastically.

\--

"They're playing volleyball," Bess announced, lazily.

After lunch Bess and Nancy sprawled on lounges around the pool, sunglasses on, their bodies glistening. Nancy sighed and turned onto her stomach. "Then I'm sure they can make do without us," she said, resting her forehead against her towel.

"Amen," Bess declared, taking a sip of her drink. "Let's come here every year. This is so… relaxing."

"You don't know the meaning of the word relax until you try out the hotel masseuse," Nancy said, smiling.

"Guy or girl?" Ned asked, lowering himself into a chair next to the girls.

"Where've you been?" Nancy asked, tilting her sunglasses back to look at him. "I haven't seen you for hours."

"The guys dragged me to the go-kart place." He shrugged. "Not bad."

"I wanted to go to that!" Bess pouted. "How many guys were there?"

Ned grinned. "Lots, Bess. I promise we'll tell you next time." He scooted his chair closer to Nancy's and leaned over, untying her bikini top. Her eyes popped open and she rose slightly, holding her top to her chest, and shot him a look.

"Just wanted you to get an even tan," he said, winking.

"Sure," Nancy said, reaching over to the table for a ponytail holder and tugging her hair up, off her skin. "I'll be a pure blonde by the time we leave here."

He touched her back. "Damn, that's a lot of freckles."

"Nothing wrong with being blonde." Bess grinned.

Ned hooked a finger around one side of her bikini bottoms and pulled them down slightly. "You have a tan line," he announced.

"Would you like to give me a full inspection?" Nancy asked archly.

"Please, not here," Bess said. "You two have rooms for that."

Nancy held his gaze for another few seconds, then turned back the way she had been, facing Bess. "Could you get me some more soda, Ned?" she asked in a muffled voice.

"Sure," he said, leaning over her for her glass, and kissed her ear. "Be right back."

Once he was out of earshot, Bess asked, "So, what happened last night? After you took off with Jeremy."

"Oh, that was his name?" Nancy replied. "He took me back to the condo, and Ned was there with Denise…"

"But George said she woke you two up."

"No, the idiots with the water guns did," Nancy replied.

"He apologized?"

Nancy shrugged. "Basically," she replied. Then she felt a sudden coolness as a drop of water hit her in the middle of the back, and she saw her drink lowered to the table by Ned's hand. He traced the drop of water down the indentation of her spine and she arched her back slightly, leaning into his touch.

"I'm gonna go jump some waves," he announced.

"Tie my top and I'll go with you."

She heard the grin in his voice. "How about I don't tie your top and you still come with me."

"I'll do it myself," she replied, and as she stretched her arms behind her she felt him grasp the strings, felt the warmth of his hands on hers. He tied it securely and she pushed herself up to sitting, tugged the holder out of her hair and tossed her head.

"Damn… once we're married can you do that once a day?"

Nancy grinned. "I'll race you."

\--

Everyone in the room leaned back and sighed as the movie cut to commercial. A sliver of light fell across the television in the darkened room, and Bess cast an irritated glance toward the door until she saw that the intruder was Nancy, returning. She caught Bess's eye and motioned for her to follow upstairs.

"Damn, you've turned Mexican," Bess said once she had closed the door to Nancy's room behind them.

"Good thing or bad thing?" Nancy asked, opening her closet.

"Good," Bess replied. "What's up?"

"Ned wants to take me to dinner. Do you have that pink shirt I lent you?"

"Where's he taking you?"

Nancy shrugged. "He didn't say."

"Wear the mint dress with the stripes," Bess suggested. "I have some shoes that would look great with it."

Nancy sat down as Bess started digging through her luggage. "I think it might be serious." She started chewing on a thumbnail.

Bess laughed. "Well, at this point the only thing he could do is…" Bess stopped. "Break off the engagement? Did he catch you and…?"

Nancy shook her head. "No. I sent that guy up to his room and as far as I know, he passed out and doesn't even know I didn't follow him."

"Can't be that bad then." Bess returned to her search.

Nancy sighed. "I hope you're right."

An hour later, after a hasty shower and application of understated makeup, wearing Bess's borrowed shoes, Nancy took the seat Ned pulled out for her. The waiter had directed them to a table on the patio, where they could see the sun setting over the water. Nancy smoothed her napkin over her lap and peered at him from under her lashes, stilling the slight tremor in her hands.

"We'll both have water," Ned said, and the waiter nodded and hurried away.

Nancy felt anger rise up in her until she realized the significance of his having ordered for her. "Now I'm scared," she said.

"Don't be," he said. He extended an arm over the table and she took his open hand in hers, then watched his gaze falter from her eyes and drift out to the horizon. "I've been thinking a lot today," he began.

"Always a good thing," she said, a smile in her voice. "Well, I hope."

"Once the season is over, do you want to… go away with me for a few days?"

"Alone?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"We haven't even left yet and you're planning our next trip?" she teased. "Where would you want to go?"

He met her eyes, his own glowing, his thumb stroking over her hand. She melted at his expression, the warmth of his touch. "Anywhere," he admitted. "Anywhere we can be alone."

She propped her chin on her hand. "I thought that was the point," she said softly. "That we shouldn't be alone with each other, that it causes too much… temptation."

"That's true," he said. "But the reasons not to give in kind of evaporate once we get married. And…"

"But we wouldn't be married on that trip," she replied. "We're getting married when you graduate… right?"

He shrugged. "We could elope," he said. "Spend the entire summer together. I could move into the president's apartments next year and we could spend our weekends there. The weekends you could get away, that is," he said hurriedly. "I wouldn't expect you to do that every weekend."

"You mean go away with you and get married."

"Yeah," he said quietly, and a shiver ran up her spine.

His hand was motionless in hers as she turned her face toward the sea and watched the rippling reflection of the sunset in the waves. The waiter came with their water, but caught their expressions and left them alone. Then Nancy met his eyes again.

"I thought you didn't trust me," she said softly.

He smiled wryly. "I wasn't putting it very well," he said. "In all the years we've been together, we've never been what either one of us would call exclusive. Flirting was okay. It made me jealous as hell but it was okay. And then, we broke up, and you were with other guys; I was with another girl. I come back to you a year later and I'm tired of being your boyfriend, because boyfriend grants me no status, no protection against your head being turned by anyone else. The title is no longer acceptable." He took a sip of his water. "Every day that you don't call and tell me some other guy has come along, I'm amazed. Because that ring is an experiment. To see if fiancé is a safer word to be called; to see if it's not just everyone else, but we ourselves who can start acting like two people who actually want to be together. Not just because someone better hasn't come along yet. Not just because you're settling for me."

"I never settled for you," she said.

"I never settled for you either," he said. "That's like 'settling' for caviar. But, Nan…" his fingers traced hers. "We're in unexplored territory here. I want that long stretch of doubt and misunderstanding and miscommunication to be behind us, but there are things I can't forget, no matter how hard I try."

"Erika?" she mumbled, despite herself.

"No, I think his name is Sasha," Ned replied. "But he has a hundred different names. He is legion."

Nancy blushed. Then she nodded. "I can accept that. That I've screwed up a lot. But, like you said, things were different back then."

"That's the point. Things are different now. I'm ready to do this. Because the more I see you, the more time I spend with you, the more I know that this is right and you're the one I'm supposed to be with. The only one. No matter how many Denises or Erikas come along."

She blinked. "So you're not sure?"

"That's the only thing I'm sure of. That we could be ready for this. But I'm not about to talk you into anything you're not ready to do."

She looked down. "I did ask you for a date."

"I think what you did was ask me for a deadline."

"No I didn't," she replied.

"I think you were afraid then and you're afraid now that you're not ready, and it would be easier in the long run to force it to happen now, to get it over with. Because you can't tell me that."

She pulled her hand away from his and tilted her face down, her hands over her hair. After a long moment she looked up. "You're right," she said, and chuckled bitterly. "Told you, you can see clear into my head. I did feel that way. I was afraid someone else would come along, and I would be tempted, and it was better to somehow force myself into this; and now I'm afraid you're too much temptation for me to handle all by myself."

"But I don't want you forcing yourself into anything."

"I'm not, anymore. And it sounds weird, but the more time we're together, the more strongly I feel this. It's not… it's not sacrifice at all. It's not losing anything. Because in choosing to be with you I feel freer than I did while we were apart."

"That's the point," he said. "I don't see any reason to wait. I've found you, and I don't want to let you go again. And my feelings won't be any different a week from now, a month from now…"

"A year from now?"

He shook his head.

"If your feelings won't be any different then why don't we wait?" she asked gently.

"Wait for what?" he asked. "The only thing, the only reason I can think of, is if you genuinely think it would be better. That your feelings would change."

She looked down at their joined hands. "We'll only see each other on the weekends," she protested, but he could see the beginnings of a smile twitching the corners of her mouth.

"Lots of married people do that. Commuting to the city and back."

The twitching stopped. "So does that mean you'll move to Wilder to be closer to me my senior year?"

"Sure," he said easily.

"What if…" her gaze drifted off again. "Ned, do you promise me that? Regardless of anything? Regardless of whether we actually do this insane thing, whether we go and exchange rings and lock this in forever?"

"You mean if we're still engaged?"

_"Still_ engaged?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I mean not married yet, silly."

"If we're just engaged, if… if you graduate and some place in Chicago offers you a great job, if someone…"

"Someone?"

She sighed. "It's my dad," she said. "This is his voice in my head. Telling me that this is a mistake. It's not that I don't love you; it's not that I won't be more instead of less sure of that in time. But why should you waste your time at an apartment near Wilder when you could be in Chicago? Why should you—"

"Shh," he murmured. "Marriage to you won't be a waste of time."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it," she replied. "What if tomorrow some big sports team starts trying to recruit you big time, pulls out all the stops, all the flashing lights and ESPN interviews and foreign cars, and you say 'No, no, darling, I must stay here with you,' because I saw that look in your eyes…"

"What look?"

"When Dad was talking about you going pro."

"Is that what you're afraid of?"

"It's… it would seem so pointless then," she said. "It would be you blowing kisses to me before the game starts, while I study for exams."

He looked down at the cooling basket of bread on the tablecloth. "Nan, I don't want to go pro."

"Don't lie to me," she said, her eyes damp. "Every boy dreams about it."

"I'm not a boy anymore," he said quietly.

"But if it comes down to that…" she sighed. "What if I want you to? What if I'd be willing to follow you, everywhere, anywhere, I'd watch and cheer and don't, don't tell me you haven't thought about it."

"But I haven't even gotten any offers!"

"Yet," she said darkly. "Everyone says you will."

"Are you saying this is a choice between me playing ball and marrying you?"

"No," she replied. "It's me not wanting to hold you back from something that will make you happy."

"You, Nan, you will make me happy." He sighed. "What if they came up to me tomorrow, aggressively recruited me, wanted to sign me on to a contract, and all I had to do was quit school?"

She shrugged. "It would be your choice."

"I wouldn't quit school. Because I know there's life after and beyond ball. What if I did, and I busted my knee first year, only played in one game, and…" He shrugged.

"But that could happen now."

He cocked a finger at her. "Exactly. It could happen now. It could never happen. I could have a long but undistinguished career as a professional punching bag. Where things get tricky, Nan, is when I think of doing anything, absolutely anything, without you by my side."

She looked down and smiled. "Ned…"

"That's what's important to me. With this degree I could work just about anywhere. Chicago, California, anywhere. I've followed you around for so long, I've been chasing you… I want to catch you."

The waiter approached as Nancy tried to think of a response. Ned frowned at Nancy's order of a salad.

"I don't think I can eat right now," she replied, "but I'll try. Ned, you've already caught me."

He shook his head. "Not forever," he replied. "Not permanently."

She smiled. "Why this sudden need?" she murmured.

Ned shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted, tearing apart a slice of bread. Then he smiled. "Maybe the sudden realization that I'm not attracted to anyone else has left me shocked and amazed."

"No one else?"

He buttered a piece, then popped it in his mouth. "No one else."

"Isn't it scary?"

"Only when I think of how long the wait might be."

\--

The evening of their last full day, Nancy finished shaping the hamburgers and took the last batch out to Ned, who was manning the grill on the patio. As soon as he finished, they were going to take them out to the bonfire on the beach, for those who hadn't yet turned to s'mores for dessert.

Nancy brushed her hair back, her skirt whipped tight against her legs by the wind. Ned looked down appreciatively. "What if we go back," she said, "and go somewhere for a while, talk about this seriously, figure out this is what we want. And we do this."

He placed the last patty on the grill. "Okay," he said evenly.

"Because, I mean, we could get a license, but that doesn't mean we have to get married. And they last for a while. We wouldn't have to do it then or anything."

"Right."

"And you would move into the apartment and toss all that garbage in there, or else have Michael move it out, or something, and I'd come see you as often as I could."

Ned smiled. "I think it wouldn't take much encouraging to get Michael to take it."

She studied his profile. "We're children," she whispered. "Playing house."

"Right now," he agreed.

"But that's what it would be." She sat down in a folding chair near the grill. "I remember you saying something like that. Wanting to wait until we could live together, and not just on the weekends."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Which puts us back at… oh, fourteen months from now."

"You really would move to Wilder to be with me?" she asked quietly. "Ned, there's nothing around it. It's a college town, like Emersonville."

He shrugged. "It's not a bad commute from Chicago. And I told you, I could find something practically anywhere, I'm sure."

She stood and came up behind him, put her arms around his waist. "I was blind," she murmured. "I've had you standing in front of me for so long and I've been blind."

He put his arm over hers, laced his fingers between. "It's all right," he said.

"If I could, if we could be at the same place, I'd do it now," she said. "I'd marry you tomorrow."

He smiled. "Don't get me drunk and ask me," he said. "Who knows what I'd promise."

"Maybe it's enough to know you would," she said. "I'd never ask you to leave Emerson. But—I mean, if you were there with me at Wilder--senior year," she said quickly, "if I knew when I came home it would be to you, no more hours of driving, no more feeling guilty because I'm preventing you from doing homework…"

"Or for anything else we may or may not be doing," he said with a smile in his voice.

"You're assuming we'll be married by then."

He lifted the edge of a burger to check it. "You keep implying we may not be," he said calmly.

She sighed. "Who knows what will happen?" she said.

"I do," he replied. "I know that I'm going to marry you, Nancy Drew. And if it takes me waiting…" he sighed dramatically, "over two years, if you want to walk down the aisle in a graduation robe before a wedding gown, then if that will make you happy it will make me happy."

"So we'd live in sin in some tiny apartment on the edge of campus?"

He cast a glance over his shoulder at her and raised an eyebrow. "Thought you weren't cool with that."

"I'm not." She traced her fingertips over his chest. "But it seems a shame to lure a strong, handsome guy like you to some campus teeming with coeds and not give you something… to keep your attention occupied."

"I think a wife would keep me pretty occupied." He stopped suddenly.

"Yeah," she said softly. "Weird, isn't it."

"But in a good way," he said. He flipped the burgers deftly.

\--

"What if it's a total drag?" Bess asked.

She was jogging, and panting rather pointedly, while Nancy and George maintained a rather relaxed pace. "I mean—damn, can't we stop for a minute?"

Nancy stopped, and George jogged in place. "Come on, gotta keep that heart rate up!"

"If I were married, and my husband was in class all day long… 'sorry, honey, gotta do some homework… sorry, honey, I have that paper to work on…'"

"Well, he seems okay with it."

"That's because he hasn't thought about it," Bess said. "And you're still going to be at the paper, right?"

"Yeah. He knows that."

George and Bess exchanged glances. "Oh, come on, guys," Nancy protested.

George shrugged. "Okay," she said. "The commute isn't the best, either."

"We could compromise," Nancy said. "We don't have to live at Wilder."

George started jogging, and Nancy and Bess, the latter with a groan, joined her again. "I think he'd be crazy not to take a pro offer," George said. "He's a great athlete, Nan."

Nancy stopped in her tracks and took a deep breath, looked out at the ocean. Bess stopped a few feet away, as did her cousin. "Go on ahead," Nancy said, waving them on.

"I'm sorry," George said.

"No, you're right," Nancy said, her voice tight with control. "He would be crazy to turn it down out of some misguided—some idea about what would be right for me. Or us."

Bess tilted her head. "What are you saying?" she asked. "He may never get a pro offer." George snorted, and Bess elbowed her in the ribs.

Nancy bent her knees and lowered herself, indian-style, to the sand. She muttered a curse and swiped at her suddenly damp eyes, then buried her face in her hands. The cousins looked at each other as her gasped breaths became audible.

"I don't want him to go," she said, nearly incoherently. "I've spent every damn night this week with him, I'm going to spend the entire summer with him, I don't…"

Bess patted her friend on the back. "I'm sorry," she said. "We didn't mean to make you upset."

"He could—he could see how stupid this is. How little sense it all makes. To be with someone who lives hours and hours away, and he'd waste a year of his life waiting for me to graduate, and—"

"He's got a good head on his shoulders," Bess said softly. "And he loves you. And him being with you wouldn't be a waste of time."

Nancy sighed, her face red with tears. "Everything's so simple when I'm with him," she said. "Everything he says sounds so… so good. And then I know, I _know_ what my dad would say. If I married Ned next week or next summer."

"Your dad isn't you," George said.


	6. Chapter 6

"Well, he isn't," Hannah said, wiping her brow with her forearm. "You sure you don't want to take a break?"

"Well, I could go for some lemonade," Nancy replied, making one last swipe with the roller and placing it back in the tray.

The two of them sat down at the bar with a batch of oatmeal cookies and tall glasses of lemonade. Hannah sat, gazing at her living room, which they had nearly finished painting. "What do you think?" she asked.

"Considering I helped you pick almost every color," Nancy teased her, then followed her gaze. "I think it looks excellent. It needs a lot of pale yellow. Maybe tomorrow we could go by that antique store downtown and see if they have anything."

"I want you to feel at home here," Hannah said.

"I do," Nancy replied earnestly. "How could I not, with Dad two seconds away?"

Hannah shrugged. "Maybe that isn't the best thing right now."

Nancy swallowed a bite of oatmeal cookie. "I'm gonna go crazy," she murmured. "Ned and I would get married tomorrow, but it makes no sense."

Hannah nodded. "Because you'll still be at college."

"And he will, and we'll be hours apart, and I don't even have a job yet… and it's unfair and selfish for me to expect him to just come to Wilder and stay with me. There's nothing for him there."

"Except you," Hannah said.

Nancy shook her head. "The timing is wrong," she said, abandoning the cookies. "Not that it would be much better with us graduating at the same time, poor and freshly degree'd, and then getting married."

"So when would you get married? After you made your first million?" Hannah smiled.

Nancy tugged a leg under her. "When I start thinking about it that way, I wonder why not next week."

"He'll be here for dinner, right?"

Nancy nodded. "He should be. Thanks for letting us crash here."

"Anytime." Hannah smiled.

Ned repeated the sentiment, after he had been greeted by Nancy, paint-streaked, with her hair under a bandanna. He let out a low whistle at seeing what Hannah had done with the place. "Nice," he said. "Looks like I don't even have to help paint."

"Yeah you do," Nancy said, shooting him a mock glare. "Or else no dinner. And I think Hannah's making your favorite."

Ned shrugged out of his jacket with exaggerated speed. "Point me in the direction of the paint cans, please, ma'am."

Even though they both praised the dinner enormously, Nancy noticed Ned kept glancing at his watch. Finally he tossed down his napkin after finishing the last bite and said, "Hannah, I'm really sorry, but…"

"You can't be that sorry if you've cleaned your plate." Hannah's eyes were sparkling.

"My cousin is starting pitcher in tonight's game," he said apologetically. "I promised him I'd go, since I'm in town. Nan…?"

Hannah waved her hands in a shooing gesture. "Go, go, you two," she said. "I'll get the dishes."

"Leave at least a few so we can earn our dessert," Nancy said, smiling, as she grabbed her coat.

"Oh, I'll just work you two all day tomorrow on the guest rooms," Hannah replied.

Nancy let Ned drive the Mustang with the top down over to Mapleton. They didn't talk, but her hand stayed in his for most of the trip.

"Ned, you made it!" his aunt said as they found spots in the bleachers near her. "How's college going?"

He shrugged. "Pretty good," he said.

"I saw your last game on ESPN. Bill had it up so loud I'm surprised the entire neighborhood couldn't hear it." She laughed. "Good to see you, Nancy."

"Thanks," Nancy replied. "How's business?"

"Not bad," she said, just as the team took the field.

The three of them settled back to watch the game, ostensibly at least. Nancy half-watched the game, with a good deal of her attention focused on his hand on hers. They had not yet taken that trip together, and she wasn't altogether sure that they would. She had volunteered them both to help out on Hannah's feverish redecoration of the house. Each bedroom would be a different color, once they were done. Every time Nancy came home for a while, her time was split between Iris and Hannah; Iris for marathon shopping sessions while her father was working, Hannah for ideas on color schemes for her new house. Hannah had already hinted that the upstairs sewing room could be made into a nursery, for when Nancy and Ned brought their children over to visit, at some vague future date.

She turned her head to look at him. He was leaning forward, his attention completely centered on the game, watching his cousin. Since both she and Ned had no siblings, his cousin was the closest he had to a brother. More than a few years separated them, though, and especially once Ned's athletic career had started, there was more than a hint of hero worship in their relationship. Sam had every intention of following Ned to Emerson, once he graduated high school.

Nancy was thoughtful during the brief drive back to River Heights, the dessert they shared on the counter in the kitchen. Hannah said goodnight and vanished upstairs with a knowing smile, and Nancy pulled Ned out onto the back porch with her. The night had turned cold, so she huddled into her jacket.

"So your dad's not home." He sat down in the swing on the front porch.

"Nah," she replied. "I didn't know Laurel was pregnant."

Ned shrugged. "Me either," he replied. "I heard from Evan a few weeks ago, so he must not have known, cause he didn't tell me. But my aunt's always been up on the gossip in the family." He smiled.

"Sam's girlfriend is cute," she said. Then she smiled. "Reminds me of us, at that age."

"Yeah." He reached up and tugged her down into the swing. "I don't think she's going to Emerson, though, but kids these days… they don't think past two days ahead."

She leaned against his shoulder, his hand in hers, looking at the manicured lawn. "Maybe one day we'll live in a house like this," she said quietly.

"Maybe," he nodded, leaning down to kiss her softly. "It's a long time from now, though, Nan." He brushed her hair back.

"Not so long," she replied, kissing him back. "Hannah said we can house-sit for her."

"But it won't be ours," he said, pressing his face into the side of her neck so his breath tickled the fine hairs there, and kissed her.

"I'm yours."

He smiled. "Not entirely. Not yet."

They went back inside, sat on the dust cloth covering the couch and plugged the television back in. He wasn't bothered by the smell of wet paint, but Nancy had been inhaling it far longer, and after a little while she placed a hand on his cheek and turned his face to hers.

"I'm going upstairs," she whispered. "Hannah's probably asleep."

"You okay?" he asked softly, brushing her hair back from her face and planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll be fine once I get out of this room."

Ned turned the television off and the room was cast into blue-hued darkness as he gathered her in his arms. "All right then," he said. "Which bedroom?"

"Blue one."

Iris had helped Hannah with the two non-master bedrooms upstairs. The one closer to the stairs was done in shades of blue from midnight to pale, and the other in green. Nancy liked the blue one because she had helped paint it.

Ned shouldered open the door and put her down. Nancy sat down on the bed and untied her shoes, kicked them off, then looked up and met his eyes.

"Hey," she murmured.

He took her hands and pulled her up, then folded her into his embrace. "This is going to be our trip, isn't it," he said. "Until the summer, at least."

She leaned back to meet his eyes. "We can make some time."

He shook his head. "Nah," he murmured, his fingertips brushing the nape of her neck. "I'm comfortable with this."

They danced to soundless music, slow and lazy, punctuated by kisses. Their movements were nearly imperceptible by the time he brushed her hair back and pressed his mouth to her ear.

"I love you," he murmured against her mouth.

"I love you too."

\--

"Good morning," Hannah said cheerfully over a cup of coffee as Nancy, rubbing at her eyes, walked into the kitchen.

Nancy walked over to the coffee maker and poured herself a cup. "Hi," she replied, her voice rough with sleep. "Biscuits?"

Hannah nodded at the white paper bag on the countertop. "Help yourself," she said. "Ned too, once he wakes up."

Nancy opened her mouth and closed it, and Hannah watched her carefully. "He might be awake by now."

"You two have a late night?"

Nancy smiled. "Kind of," she said, stirring cream and sugar into her coffee. "Watched some TV, mostly."

Hannah nodded, a faint smile on her face. "Okay."

As Hannah knew she would, Nancy opened her biscuit, removed the bacon and ate that separately. Ned came down the stairs; Nancy's head turned so quickly her hair flew, and his eyes were soft when they found those of his fiancée. He smiled a greeting at Hannah and poured himself a cup.

"You two sleep well?"

Ned nodded. "Your guest beds are great."

"Good. Because today I want to get everything finished, the trim, the random missed spot, everything. You two up for it?"

Nancy and Ned exchanged a glance. "Yeah, but I insist we go out tonight," Nancy replied, turning back to Hannah. When Ned walked over to the counter to investigate the biscuits, his arm brushed against Nancy's, and Hannah noticed her response. "I know I'm going to be too tired to cook."

Hannah smiled. "Well, if you insist…"

\--

"I'm proud of it. I'd be glad to tell people I helped paint."

Hannah looked between the two of them as they settled down to a seafood dinner later that night. "I'm glad you are, Ned," she said. "And it's all right with me if you two share a bed again tonight."

Nancy stared at Hannah for a moment, then forced herself to swallow. "Are the walls that thin?" she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

Hannah arched an eyebrow. "No, but you just answered a question I hadn't asked," she replied. "You two are getting married soon, anyway. Next year?"

"Something like that," Ned said, staring out the window, unable to meet Hannah's eyes.

"Oh, relax, both of you," Hannah said. "I was your age once. And I've always been able to tell when you lie, Nancy."

Nancy smiled. "That's because I don't lie to you that much."

Hannah took a sip of her tea. "I should wait until your father is here to tell you this, but… I really do hope the two of you like the house."

Nancy tilted her head. "It's gorgeous, but it's your house, Hannah. I mean, that garden alone… you love that garden."

"Did you notice what's planted in it?"

Nancy shrugged. "Beautiful things. I feel like I'm in an English rose garden when I go back there."

Hannah nodded her head. "When you two are married that house will be yours."

Ned coughed on his drink. "We can't take the house!"

Hannah tore open a roll and buttered it. "Mr. Drew and I bought that house, with the understanding that it would be a wedding present. And if it's too close to your father, you can sell it with no hard feelings, find another place to live. We've done a lot more work on it than you two know about, and now it's almost finished, and if you two want to go with me tomorrow and find a few last things for it, that would be great."

Nancy and Ned looked at each other for a long moment. When Nancy looked back at Hannah, her eyes were shining. "Hannah, really, we can't…"

"Maybe you two want to live in Chicago," Hannah continued calmly. "And that's fine. You'll have plenty of time to house-sit, get the feel of the place, see if you even like it. That's why I wanted Nancy to help me pick colors," she said. "I think it's a gorgeous house no matter what the two of you do with it."

"It is," Nancy replied.

\--

"You were going to ask me something at dinner," Hannah said, sitting down in one of the chairs out of the garden.

Nancy ran her fingertip over one of the flowers, then sat down and stayed silent for a few minutes. "You and Dad will give us this place on the condition that we get married after graduation, won't you," she finally said.

Hannah shrugged. "In our talking about it he never placed any conditions on it," she replied. "I think he wanted to tell you two over a nice dinner or something, once you two had set a date, or maybe even at the reception, but he never said 'only if those two fools wait until they're out of college.'"

Nancy leaned back, looking over the house with new eyes. "It is beautiful," she said quietly. "It's a fantastic present. Better than anything I could have hoped for." She leaned over and gave Hannah a hug.

"So you two…?" Hannah asked.

Nancy blushed. "We're being good," she said.

"Good, cause I can't hear a darn thing through the walls, and I was pretty sure you wouldn't lie to me when you hadn't even messed up the covers on the other bed," Hannah replied. "Your engagement might be another two years?"

Nancy sighed. "I don't want it to be, but I don't really see any way around it," she said.

"Good thing you're on the pill," Hannah replied.

After the chill settled in the air the two of them went back inside, and Nancy walked around the downstairs, touching the furniture, a curious stillness in her. She opened the door of the blue bedroom and saw Ned on his stomach, shirt off, smiling at her.

"Hey."

"Hey," Nancy said, unbuttoning her skirt and stepping out of it, pulling her shirt off. "You look like a guy who wants another massage."

She straddled his waist and stroked his back, but as her attention wandered her touch grew lighter until she was barely trailing her fingers over his skin. He turned over and gazed up at her, and after a moment she looked down at him and smiled.

"Come here," he murmured, her legs still bent at his waist as he reached for her. She kissed him soundly, her hair falling like a curtain over their faces.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked when she pulled back, his fingertips tracing the lines of her face.

She kissed his palm. "Us," she murmured. "In this house."

He closed his eyes. "It even has that white picket fence you were talking about."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "Would you want to keep it?" she asked softly.

"It's not just me who has to decide this," he said. "I thought you wanted me to come live nearby while you were at Wilder."

She lifted herself off him and stretched out on her side, and he rolled over to pull her back into his embrace. "Yeah, but that was before I knew about this place."

"Would that change anything?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Maybe Hannah can just live here until we're both out of school," he murmured, kissing her softly.

Nancy closed her eyes. "How the hell do you expect me to think right now," she murmured.

\--

At church the next morning Nancy could have sworn everyone was looking at her.

She knew it was a false feeling, that absolutely no one knew except maybe Hannah, but everything, the hymns, the pastor's sermon, seemed directed at the two of them. The paranoia was laced with recollections of the night before, but her only shame was in feeling no shame about what she, they, had done.

Ned had opted out of the antiquing and had promised to meet Nancy for dinner, after he spent a few hours with his parents. So Hannah and Nancy walked in, gazing at tarnished picture frames and dusty, sad furniture, looking for anything that might go well in the house.

But Nancy found herself in front of a stack of vinyl records, flipping through, not seeing the names. Hannah tapped her on the shoulder.

"Maybe we should try somewhere else," she said. "Not that you're even here right now."

With an effort Nancy smiled. "Maybe in the next shopping center," she replied.

The two of them walked over in the bright still afternoon sunshine. "You okay?" Hannah asked. "Did you two have a fight or something?"

"No," Nancy sighed. "We'll be fine. It's all just a bit much, and I was thinking that Ned would be near me after he graduates, but if he's living here…"

"All depends on when you get married," Hannah said. "And if you two wait too long, I might just build an extension onto the house and stay there. Make sure the garden is kept properly."

Nancy smiled. "Plenty of backyard to do that," she said.

\--

"If the two of you want it," Iris said. "The house was a steal. And after everything we've done to it, if you want to sell it, you'd have a nice nest egg to start your lives on."

Nancy and Ned exchanged glances. "Can you give us a while to think about it?" Ned asked. "I mean, we've been thinking of it as Hannah's house…"

"It's too big for me," Hannah said matter-of-factly. "To be honest. I'd be more than happy with an extension off the back, to sit in the rose garden in the afternoons."

Nancy looked over at her father, who was seated in his favorite recliner, his stockinged feet propped up; Iris was lounging in the one next to it, the one Nancy had spent many a Saturday morning in. Nancy was on the loveseat with Ned, and Hannah in her own chair.

Her family, all together, in the room.

"What if we're not married until two years from now?" Nancy asked. "What then?"

Carson glanced over at Hannah. "That'll give us plenty of time to build Hannah's extension, and maybe put in a few more things you two might like."

"And if we decide that we'd like something in Chicago?"

Iris and Carson looked at each other. "Then we sell the house for you and give you the money from it to do that."

"But the house isn't ours until we're married."

Carson's face was carefully composed. "Right. And since one or both of you will be in college until that happens, I don't really see it as a problem."

"Both of us," Ned mused, after he and Nancy had excused themselves and said their goodbyes. "Maybe he does halfway expect us to run away one weekend."

"I don't think so," Nancy said, reaching up to put her arms around his neck, her eyes closed as she leaned against him. "He's a lawyer. Covering all the bases."

"Right now, maybe?" Ned slipped his arms around her waist and held her close to him.

She smiled against his neck. "Maybe if you'd asked at the beginning of the weekend, but now…"

"No, then?"

She kissed him and pulled back. "Sometimes I think about calling your bluffs, but I don't ever do it," she murmured. "I don't feel a bit of guilt over what we did this weekend."

He smiled. "Yeah, but it's not as right as it could be."

"It's a scary thought," she admitted, her head down, voice muffled by the collar of her jacket. Then she tilted her face back and peered into his eyes. "And yet it feels like the most natural thing in the world when I'm with you."

"Yeah," he replied, leaning forward to kiss her softly. "I'm going to miss you."

"When will I see you again?" she breathed, tilting her head and kissing him back.

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'll call you."

"Okay," she murmured, kissing him again, loathe to let him go. "I can't wait until we sign that piece of paper, until I don't have to say no anymore…"

He pulled back. "You know I love you, right?"

She stared back into his eyes. "I know. And I love you."

He sighed. "I really don't want to go," he said. He glanced over his shoulder at the house Hannah kept for them, silent in the cooling air. "One day we won't have to leave anymore."

She smiled. "We won't have to," she repeated. "But I don't know if that house is big enough to hold the two of us."

\--

"You and Ned missed the party of the _year_." Bess put her tray on the table with a click, then maneuvered into her chair. "You were with him this weekend, right?"

"Of course," Nancy smiled, forking her salad by the dim cafeteria lights. "We stayed over at Hannah's… which, by the way, is going to be a wedding present."

"Hannah's going to be a wedding present?" Bess lifted a forkful of rice to her mouth, an inquisitive and impeccably tweezed eyebrow raised aloft.

"No, no. The house. The one I've been helping paint forever."

Bess's eyes widened. "Wow. So, did you two stay… together?"

The corner of Nancy's mouth lifted. "Yeah," she admitted.

"So no more of that ridiculous separate-beds thing."

"I don't know," Nancy said, taking a sip of water. "I mean, things got pretty… serious. Serious to if I were going to see him again soon, I'd get on the pill if I weren't already."

"Did you…" Bess raised her eyebrows.

"No," Nancy sighed. "And it's scary how little I care, and how little it would take to convince me."

"I know how that is," Bess replied wistfully. "And after that first time, there is like absolutely no resistance."

"And if we did… it's not like we're going to break up. But it's not like we're married yet, either."

Bess shrugged. "And this time last year you were all hung up over Jake."

\--

"Nancy."

Nancy looked up to see Jackie leaning into her cubicle, her dark hair swinging over her shoulder. "You working on deadline?"

Nancy smirked. "You should know." She saved her document. "What's up?"

"I know you're so far above this and it's beneath you and your dignity will be injured by my even suggesting it, but I think you could do really well with this piece…"

"Spill it, Jackie."

"The business conference coming up."

Nancy groaned. "You're right. This is beneath me."

"Ten or twelve inches and a picture. A little summary and maybe a profile of one of the attendees. Who can rhapsodize brilliantly on the native wonder of Wilder and how its facilities are more than adequate for such functions to be held in the future. Or how they are barely passable, depending on what else I'm running that week."

Nancy laughed. "Some sort of quasi-human interest story?"

"I'm not interested in the human, unless it's some cute guy offering graduate level scholarships." Jackie curved her burgundy lips in a smile. "It's a skate."

"All right," Nancy said grudgingly. "I'll do it. But just this once. And you have to give me a front-page story next issue."

"Thanks," Jackie called over her shoulder as she walked back to her office.

\--

"Bess is where exactly?" George asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"I'm not really sure," Nancy responded, waiting for a spoonful of soup to cool before she sipped it. "I think it involved a rehearsal and then some crazy party up in town. For cast members only. She said she'd take pictures."

George laughed. "I'm sure those won't be fit to print."

The two girls were seated in a café near campus, catching a late lunch before Nancy attended her sole afternoon class and George headed off to her tennis tutoring lessons.

"So is Genevieve going to be ready for a competition by the time classes end?" Nancy asked.

George shrugged. "I think so," she said. "Ginny has improved a lot but I've gone to games with her, and some of those girls are ruthless."

Nancy looked down into the reflective surface of her bowl. "It's been a while since I've played tennis."

"We should go play doubles against her and her sister. Just don't try to play like Teresa and we'll be fine."

Nancy laughed. "Trust me, I may love her style but I hope I never have to use it again."

"You going up to see Ned this weekend?"

Nancy put down her soup spoon and stretched. "Nope," she admitted, her arms upraised. She sighed and lowered them. "He has a game, and I have to cover that stupid conference. Maybe if I get up early Saturday morning and get the interview done, you and I could do something."

George smiled. "Well, I have been dying to try the new Japanese restaurant that opened a few weeks ago."

"Sounds like a date." Nancy smiled. "If Bess can pull herself away from the drama people for a few hours, maybe we could drag her along too. As long as their menu is not sushi-based."

"Oh, she loves a good California roll," George replied.

\--

Nancy made sure her press badge was visible as she and Bess climbed the steps to the library.

Bess yawned. "It's a terrible time to be awake," she grumbled.

"Yeah, noon is kinda early," Nancy teased her friend. "But maybe there are some cute successful guys here."

Bess rubbed her eyes. "I doubt it," she said. "Any guy I'd be interested in wouldn't be at a course to find out how to get ahead, he'd already _be_ ahead. And in bed right now. Like me."

Nancy held open the door. "Well, maybe they'll have snacks or something, then. Since you don't think you'll find the love of your life here."

Bess plucked a leftover donut off a table and held it in a napkin. "This might not be so bad after all," she said, taking a bite. "Bet the coffee sucks. Hey, that's Sharon." Bess pointed.

"Who?"

"Sharon Kenney. She was a senior who graduated back December of our freshman year. I remember her because she was in my intro drama seminar." Bess took another bite. "Wonder what she's doing here."

Sharon was dressed in a blue tweed suit and carried a leather briefcase. She looked a little ill at ease in the main lobby of the library's new wing.

"Hmm," Nancy said, intrigued. Bess obediently trailed behind her as Nancy approached the girl. "Hey," she greeted her. "I'm with the paper. You're an alum?"

Sharon nodded. "Yeah. I graduated not too long ago." She glanced over at Bess, who finished her donut, wiped her hand on a napkin, and extended it.

"Bess Marvin. We had drama seminar together."

Sharon laughed nervously. "Yeah, all that was a blur. Trying to get all my credits in before I graduated."

"So what brings you back to Wilder?"

The woman gestured at her outfit. "The obvious. And nostalgia, I guess."

"What do you think about the new wing of the library? It wasn't finished when you were here, was it?"

After a few more questions Sharon glanced at her watch and explained that she had to make it to her next session, but agreed to meet Nancy a bit later in case she had some follow-up questions. Nancy agreed and caught up with Bess, who was flipping through a glossy brochure she'd snagged.

"'How Maui Can Boost Your Sales,'" Bess read, then wrinkled her nose. "More like how Maui can boost your sex life."

Nancy laughed. "I'm going to head back to my room to write this up, so I don't have to do it tomorrow. Do you want to meet me back here at five? I can ask Sharon a few last questions if I need them, and we can head to the restaurant from here."

Bess bobbed her head in agreement and threw the brochure into a trash can as they passed. "Maybe I can get a few more hours' sleep," she wondered aloud.

But Bess didn't turn up at five. Once they found each other again Nancy finished asking Sharon her questions and made note of the answers, all the while unobtrusively glancing at her watch. She could feel someone's eyes on her, but the lobby was full of people laughing and making dinner plans as they left their last meetings, and Nancy couldn't spot anyone overtly staring.

"Thanks, you've been a great help," Nancy said, shaking Sharon's hand. She turned, wondering where Bess could possibly be, and had resolved to call her, when the crowd parted.

A guy with curly blond hair and green eyes was staring at her.

Her heart seemed to stop beating, even before she had recognized him. The din of the room rose to nearly intolerable levels, but she felt like she was underwater, everything distorted by his unexpected apperance.

"Hey gorgeous," he said, his grin dazzling white against his tanned skin.

"Hey Mick," she replied weakly.

"Been a while," he said, opening his arms. "Don't tell me you're here to learn how to build a better infrastructure."

Nancy allowed him to draw her into his embrace. "No," she said, her voice barely audible, then cleared her throat. "No, I'm not here to learn about that. What are you doing here? Last time I saw you was…"

"Japan," he finished, then shrugged. "I'm a bit of a wanderer," he said, his Australian accent lending a lilt to his voice. His gaze pierced her with almost embarrassing scruitiny. "But I never expected this trip to be so fruitful…"

She took a step back. "How long will you be here?"

He shrugged, his gaze still on hers. "Not sure, now. Maybe quite a while, Detective."

"Nancy!"

The steady warning of her heart throbbed in her ears as she turned in response to Bess's shout. The throng still had not dispersed, and Bess was shouldering her way between groups of laughing men and women in business suits, through the thick haze surrounding Nancy.

Behind her was another guy in business casual.

The three of them stood staring at each other for a moment, and Nancy felt a flush begin to creep up her cheeks. Bess's eyes were wide and alarmed. Ned's eyes were laughing, but when he saw her, saw how close she was standing to Mick, she saw something shutter between them.

"I thought I'd surprise you," Ned said, his glance in Mick's direction so quick she almost missed it. "The game was postponed and I get extra credit if I write a paper about one of these deadly dull meetings."

"Oh," Nancy said, her voice overloud. "That's great!"

"Hey Bess," Mick said, extending a hand. "Still the maneater?"

"You know it," Bess returned, smiling, and shook his hand. "What are you doing here?"

Mick gestured expansively. "Here for the conference."

Nancy finally couldn't bear the weight of Ned's gaze any longer. "Ned, this is Mick Devlin. Mick, this is Ned Nickerson. Mick and I met while I was on a case," she explained, watching the two of them shake hands.

"So you're dating this little vixen?" Mick said to Ned, nodding at Bess.

"Actually, I've managed to resist her wiles and stay with the charming redhead to your right," Ned said, nodding at Nancy. "You don't sound like you're from around here. Did you two meet when Nancy was investigating that case in Australia with Frank and Joe?"

Mick glanced in Nancy's direction before answering, and Nancy felt the temperature in the room drop another degree. She glanced down at her watch. "Oh boy, look at the time, Bess and I are late to go meet George for dinner."

"I'm starved," Mick announced. "Dare I ask where you might be going?"

"Japanese," Bess piped up, then glanced between the three of them. "At least, I thought…"

Nancy met and held Ned's gaze, silently pleading for him to play along. "You hungry too, Ned? It's supposed to be a decent place."

"Yeah," he replied finally, a guarded look on his face. "I could go for some sushi."

\--

Bess, sensing Nancy's unease, had kept Mick occupied with a line of engaging chatter, asking him what he was doing, what he planned to be doing, whether he'd managed to snag a girlfriend. But no matter how fast the words tumbled out of Bess's mouth, Mick still found the time to gaze across the table in Nancy's direction, making her blush.

Nancy knew Ned was seeing it. He shifted uncomfortably next to her. "George, you recommend anything?"

George shrugged. "None of us have been here before," she admitted. "Maybe the waiter…"

"Order me a water," Nancy said to no one in particular, then escaped to the bathroom. As she was splashing water on her face for the fifth time, she heard the door open and close.

"I didn't know this was date night," George said, bending over the sink next to Nancy. "When I saw you guys pull up, I made a phone call, though, so it'll be okay."

"George, I'm sorry," Nancy murmured. "I thought it was going to be girls' night out too."

"You didn't invite Ned?"

"He showed up to surprise me," Nancy said, chuckling sardonically. "As for Mick…"

"Yeah, that kind of blew me away." George ripped off a sheet of paper towel and dried her hands. "He was the last person I expected to see with you."

"It just…" Nancy gestured helplessly. "I don't even want to know what they're probably talking about."

When they returned to the table George's cell phone rang. "Hello… Yeah, we're still here… Later when?… Which club?"

When Bess heard the name she clapped with glee. "That place is _excellent_. We should totally go."

Nancy forced herself not to think about anything else as she caught Ned's glance. He shrugged slightly.

"After being in that board room all day it would be nice to go relax," Mick commented. He glanced at Ned. "I'm sure you agree."

"Relaxing sounds like a great idea."

\--

"This was the worst idea _ever_," Nancy said two hours later.

Bess glanced over her shoulder at their table, where Ned and Mick were still seated. "Well, I think the last thing those two need to be doing is putting their heads together," she agreed, still dancing. "I'll sacrifice myself and dance with Mick for a while."

"Thanks," Nancy sighed, gesturing for George to follow them back to the table.

Scott was smiling widely. "I was just telling Ned that he should come here for his bachelor party," he said. "If that's okay with you, Nancy."

Nancy couldn't stop herself from finding Mick's eyes. "I don't have a problem with it," she heard herself say. "But I think we should dance." Forcing her gaze from green eyes to brown, she extended a hand.

She and Ned found a relatively unoccupied space on the floor and started dancing. Ned's manner was markedly subdued, and when he touched her, his fingers were light over her skin.

"Please say something," she begged.

Ned shrugged. "I'm not going to say anything."

She looked down. "Usually you'd be all over me right now."

He nodded. "Usually I would," he agreed. "Maybe surprising you is a bad idea."

Her startled gaze rose to his. "It wasn't… it was perfectly okay for you to surprise me the way you did. Totally. There was nothing going on."

He chuckled. "Maybe I'm wrong. I didn't think you hugged every guy you met while on a case. But then, I haven't been there for all of them. Not by a long shot."

"Ned…"

He nodded over at the table. "Mick's really putting the beer away," he said.

"Have you had anything to drink?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea right now."

Nancy sighed. She heard Bess saying something to Mick, but her voice was far away. "Yeah, but it would make it easier to tell you this."

The song ended and Nancy and Ned stood motionless, looking at each other. Just then Mick approached them, Bess still tugging on his arm.

"Why—Nancy, why would you be with him and not me?" Mick asked, his face flushed. "What does this overmuscled pompous prig have going for him that you would say yes to him and not to me?"

All the color drained from Ned's face, before Nancy's eyes.

"Do you not remember those nights we spent together in Greece? In Rome? How well we worked together? In Japan, even, when you almost fell into that bonfire—"

Ned said something incoherent, and Nancy was speechless so she tried to beg Mick with her gaze to stop.

"Don't give me that look," Mick said angrily. "I loved you then, and I saw it in your eyes—"

Nancy glanced over, afraid of what she would see, but Ned was gone. She let out a cry of frustration and pressed through the crowd, looking for him, and when Mick grabbed her hand she tried to shake it off.

"Talk to me," Mick demanded.

Nancy stopped so suddenly that he nearly ran into her. He stopped so close she could smell the beer on his breath. "I love _him_," she said, tears rising in her eyes. "And what you just did…"

Mick threw his head back and started laughing, and the sound was bitter. "You didn't tell him about us."

"There was no _us!_" Nancy shouted. "You and I were never a unit! We were not together! I could not marry you, I wouldn't marry you, and you just hurt the only guy I've ever loved."

"_You_ hurt him," Mick corrected her, dropping her hand. "And me."

Nancy launched herself through the doors of the club. Once her eyes had adjusted, she saw Ned with his hand on the door of a cab, about to climb in.

"Ned," she called out, stopping a few steps from him, tears sliding down her cheeks. "Please."

Ned looked down. "I can't talk to you right now."

She gasped in a breath. "Then just listen."

He shook his head and took a step closer to the cab. "Can't do that either."

"In or out, buddy," the cabbie said.

He finally met Nancy's eyes, and the pain in them made her heart sink. "In or out," he repeated softly, then laughed to himself. She watched him bend over and get into the cab with disbelieving eyes.

"No!" she cried, darting forward to wedge herself between the body of the cab and the door. "Ned, I have to talk to you."

He took her hand and stared at the ring he had given her. "Did he offer you one like this?" Ned said, his voice shaking.

Nancy shook her head. "No, he didn't," she said. "He could never."

"In or out," the cabbie repeated, sounding impatient.

Ned moved over. "Get in," he said, resigned.

\--

The sleepy denizens of the _Wilder Times_ office barely moved as Nancy led Ned through the room, without touching him. She had to keep glancing over her should to make sure he was still following. He hadn't said a word to her since she had climbed into the cab, hadn't touched her, had barely looked at her.

She walked through to the break room, which harbored the aroma of many pots of mediocre coffee, and opened the supply closet. She gripped the rope hanging from the ceiling and pulled down a ladder, then climbed up. Ned, after a baleful look, followed.

They emerged onto the roof. Nancy walked slowly over to a set of folding chairs and lowered herself into one, watching him carefully. Five full minutes passed, with Nancy watching the hard line of his jaw, and finding herself unable to find a voice, a way to explain. Finally Ned bent forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, his fingers interlaced.

"He proposed to you," Ned said in a deceptively steady voice.

Nancy took a deep breath and wiped her wet face. "It was a long time ago."

"Nancy, you haven't been old enough to be asked the question that long."

She shrugged. "The summer I spent in Europe."

"Ahh, yes," he said.

Nancy met his eyes. "You said I was different then."

"I didn't know how different," he said, venom in his tone.

She shook her head. "It's not what you think," she said. "I didn't go over there expecting to meet anyone. You know that. You knew that then. Hell, Bess and George half-called him my stalker. He followed us everywhere that summer. And he was fun to be around, and cute, and he had an accent, and…"

Ned waved his hand. "Whatever."

She rubbed her forehead. "I was attracted to him," she admitted. "For all those reasons. I did feel something for him. But it didn't even approach what I feel, what I felt for you then."

"What about those nights he said you spent together?" Ned asked.

She shrugged. "They were the same kind of nights you and I used to spend together. Having dinner, taking a stroll by moonlight… going back to separate rooms. He and I were never… physical that way."

Nancy saw the vein pulsing in his temple. "Right."

"You know what?" she said suddenly. "I don't even care if you believe me, because it's the truth. It is. I was closer to Peter and Jake than to Mick, ever. Physically. But you remember how it was when you and I were together and I was on a case, and we were chasing down leads, and…"

Ned stood up, his manner agitated. "I don't remember _this_ happening," he spat. "I know sometimes we dated other people. _Dated_. Not… God, Nancy, he proposed!"

"So did you," she said quietly, holding herself still with an effort, afraid of the tension she could read on his skin. "If you remember. At a time when neither one of us were ready to be married."

"It's the thought that counts."

"He'd never met anyone like me," she said. "You've never met anyone like me."

"If you could do this, you are the most common, the most despicable…"

She stood up. "It's not like I led him on, Ned!"

He ran his hand through his hair. "I remember," he said, "how you are when you are on cases. How you and Frank were in the mountains that one time working on a case and were—" he snorted— "trapped in a cabin, and things happened. I know how you can excuse what you do to me."

"_Did!_" she corrected him, fresh tears falling over her cheeks. "That's who I was, not who I am!"

"You expect me to believe that you've changed?"

"You said you did!" she cried.

"Then why didn't you tell me about Mick?" he asked. "If it was such ancient history, if everything between you two was so innocent, why did you hide this from me?"

"Because it made me question everything," she said, falling back into her chair. "My… relationship with Mick, and then coming back to you, and everything was so strained between us. I'd never, never… like you said, we dated other people. But that entire time my heart belonged to you. Mick… made me think that maybe…"

"Maybe what?" Ned asked, despite himself.

"I can't do this," she whispered.

"Made you question this the same way you are right now?"

She brushed tears from her face with the side of her hand. "I have no doubts," she told him in a low, level voice. "I have not regretted for a single second getting back together with you."

"But…" Ned threw his hands. "I don't know who you were, now. We were so happy then. I thought there wasn't a single thing that could have come between us, before you came here."

"You know who I am."

"I know I thought you would never lie to me. Not about that." He sat down and put his face in his hands.

She watched him for a long moment, sniffing. "You're right," she said finally. "I don't know how I can expect you to forgive me for this."

He uncovered his face and looked at her, but didn't say anything.

"I should have told you immediately. No, really, I should never have let anything happen between me and Mick. I was so sure... we had dated other people before, I thought I could handle it. That it was a casual flirtation." She snickered. "I was as surprised as you were when he asked me."

"Did you think about it?"

She shrugged. "He'd been following me around like a puppy for two months. The attention was flattering. But I didn't know him at all."

He looked away from her. "We were in San Fransisco. After…" he waved his hand vaguely. "Amanda kissed me and you went ballistic. I asked you if it bothered you and you said no. Did you halfway hope that I'd fall for her the way you did for him?"

"It bugged the hell out of me," she admitted. "I spent the first part of that trip wondering if you and I should stay together, after the summer we spent apart. But then… Amanda, and you were with her all the time, and she was flirting with you, and she was gorgeous and she wanted you and I was like nothing compared to that."

"Who did I come back to every night?" he asked her quietly.

She looked down. "I don't want anyone else to have you," she replied. "But…"

"But you're allowed to be with whoever you want to be. We agreed that. We knew it. We knew being apart would be difficult and that there would be other people. Other girls. Denise," he said, watching her face carefully.

Her eyes were blazing as they met his. "I hate her," Nancy spat.

"I thought you two were getting along pretty well after she was kidnapped."

"That was before you two—" she began, then bit her words off.

"At the dance," he continued. "And over Spring Break. I saw the look on your face."

She shook her head, frustrated. "I'm fine with her. I was. As long as she stayed the hell away from you. She said she would."

"She's at Emerson and you're not."

"That gives you the right--!"

"He was there when I wasn't," Ned replied. "In Greece by moonlight."

Nancy took a few deep breaths, then let out a staccato burst of laughter. "We should have sex," she said.

"Pardon?"

"You and me. Right now."

"We haven't even made up yet."

She looked up at him. "He's never had me that way," she said. "No one else has ever had me that way. No one else has me the way you do. And this… if you knew how much I want to be with you, how no one else has turned my head since you came back into my life…"

"You dated Jake after you started seeing me again."

She gave a low chuckle. "I knew that bugged you."

"Then why did you do it?"

She shrugged. "You weren't my boyfriend. For all I knew it wouldn't work. Jake and I may have had problems... of course, that was before I knew that he would sell me out to advance himself." She shook her head. "There was nothing in it for me, with him. Not after you."

He brought his palms down on his knees, hard. "I hate the way you can do this," he said.

"Do what?"

"Every one of them you told me about ate me alive. That damn prep school captain or whatever he was. The reporter, the cop…" he gestured broadly. "Is Mick the only one I didn't know about?"

She nodded. "Like I said…"

"Ancient history," he completed. "Every time you told me, I thought, she's not ready to commit to me. I know I'm not ready to commit to her. So we would go off and do it again. Other pretty girls."

"Don't say it like it was payback. Like you weren't thinking about it too."

He shrugged. "You were the only one I loved," he said quietly. "But he loved you too. He saw… he saw the things inside you that make you who you are, and he wanted them the same way I did. You let him in. Nan, guys don't… guys don't put themselves on the line like that for no reason. He thought there was a chance you would say yes."

She tilted her head, staring at the ground. "Maybe," she mumbled.

"Not maybe."

She met his eyes. "Every time, we got back together," she said. "The two times we've broken up, it wasn't to be with other people. It was the distance. And…"

"Mike," he finished for her. "And every girl just made me realize that you were the only one."

"That's why I didn't say yes to Mick," she said. "I've met so many people, so many fascinating people… and not one of them has changed the way I felt about you."

"But you've felt things for them."

She propped her chin on her twined fingers. "I'm human," she said. "But I've put that behind me. You're the only one in my sights now." She shifted her hand so the diamond sparkled. "I never belonged to you before the way I do, with this."

He shook his head. "You don't belong to me."

She stood. "Say it any way you like," she replied. "We are betrothed, engaged, promised, you are the one and I finally decided I can admit it. I haven't deprived myself of a damn thing, a single experience, and in the end I figured out that other people could turn my head, but no one else could turn my heart."

"Pretty words," he replied. "You loved Jake."

She snorted. "You know what?" she said. "Jake loved Jake. Jake loved having me as a catch, having me on his arm. But I didn't know that, I didn't know his self confidence was really arrogance, or at least for a little while I told myself it wasn't." She shrugged. "I had feelings for him. But I never saw him in a cute little house with a picket fence around it. He and I were never in that kind of relationship."

"Neither were you and I," he said, watching her as she approached him. "Not until Christmas."

"The timing was right," she said. "I'm tired of taste testing. I'm sick of looking elsewhere only to find that I've been wasting my time. Because the one person I could ever imagine being in that little house, in Hannah's house, with me is sitting right in front of me."

He chuckled. "You mean waiting at home while you track down some story."

She put her hands on his. "Nothing is as important to me as my relationship with you," she said calmly, then met his eyes. "I'm sorry for taking you for granted. But I know now that you would be waiting."

"Yeah," he admitted grudgingly, then looked down at her hands. "I would."

"Are you ready to know what it's like to be the center of my undivided attention for the first time?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Is this going to involve us wearing less clothes?"

She pulled him up out of his chair and he looked down at her. "You're the only one I've offered my virginity to," she told him softly. "With them," she shrugged, "it was just things getting out of hand, and I never actually wanted…" she shuddered. "I just want you to know that."

"So if, right now…?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I don't think you would," she said thoughtfully. "It's a conditional offer. I may want it right now but I also know there are a thousand good reasons to wait."

"You take me for granted," he said, leaning down to brush his lips over her cheek. "You depend on me to be good even when you can't, when you don't want to be."

She closed her eyes. "We could still break."

He shrugged. "You're right," he said. "I almost asked you to give me the ring back tonight."

Her eyes flew open. "You would have?"

He smiled faintly. "I think it's a one time only thing," he said. "I think if you had betrayed me then I could never have put that ring on some other girl's finger. Not after it had been on yours."

"No secrets."

"You've said that before," he said thoughtfully.

The two of them had been swaying together faintly. He stopped and drew back from her, pushed back a lock of her hair.

"I have a potion," he began.

Her brow furrowed in momentary confusion, then she grinned. "Will you trust it?"

"Oh yes," he said, traced his palms over her face, then kissed his fingertips and pressed them to her mouth. "I will trust this," he said. "I will trust what you told me tonight is the truth. No more secrets. No more exfiancees or romantic trysts or guys you've sworn to bear children for."

She shook her head, her eyes glowing. "Nope," she said.

"No one to stand up in the church and object that there is any reason we should not be joined."

"On my side or yours."

"On my side or yours," he repeated. He leaned down and kissed her. "It's the home stretch," he said. "All the other competitors have peeled away. It's just us right now."

"Do you forgive me?" She searched his eyes.

He sighed. "I felt my heart break a little bit tonight," he murmured. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"I won't," she promised.

"Because next time, Nancy…"

"I won't."

"Ancient history," he said, and Nancy breathed a sigh of relief. "Our debts are paid again."

She rested her palms on his cheeks and leaned in to kiss his mouth. "Thank you," she breathed.

They walked, hand in hand, back through the soft hum of computers and drowsy students, out into the night, together. 


End file.
